FIVES

John-Michael, a very nice gentleman from Tampa, tagged me to do a meme. He did his in five words. That is, each answer (as well as each category) was exactly five words in length. I don't think he expects me to do mine in five words. If he does, he's going to be sorely disappointed. Pleonasm is my middle name.

(I'm pissed about that, too. My parents could have chosen something that didn't have to be looked up in a dictionary, but their names were Thomas Obfuscation Sullivan and Constance Syllabary Drown, so I shouldn't have expected anything normal.)

(Not really. Their middle names were Charles and Marie, while mine is Shawn. Doesn't explain why I use more words than necessary, though. Maybe I'm just an asswipe. I mean, none of this really has to be in parentheses, either, but here it is.)

Be that as it may - and if it isn't, I wasted that money I spent on the ointment - here's the meme.

FIVE YEARS AGO, I WAS...

1 - Driving the same car I am now.
2 - Living in the same apartment I am now.
3 - Holding the same job I am now.
4 - Still waiting for the Red Sox to win a World Series.
5 - Not blogging.

Obviously, some things haven't changed. Meanwhile, some things have changed for the better. Other things have taken the world on a careening course towards Armageddon. If you come from New York - or you have a copy of Strunk & White - your take on which is which may be different from mine.

FIVE SNACKS I ENJOY

1 - Saltines with Peanut Butter.
2 - Saltines with Cheddar Cheese.
3 - Saltines with Cream Cheese & Chives.
4 - Saltines with Sardines.
5 - Saltines.

IF I WAS A BILLIONAIRE, I WOULD...

1 - Give a million dollars to 990 of my closest friends. I figure 10 million should be enough to last me, so why be greedy?
2 - Build my own recording studio.
3 - Buy a whole bunch of superb musical instruments.
4 - Cut a record on which I play everything.
5 - Force my 990 closest friends to listen to it before they get the dough.

SOME JOBS I HAVE HAD

1 - Paperboy
2 - Blackjack Dealer
3 - Musician
4 - Barker On A Walking Charlie
5 - Garage Cleaner

DIFFERENT PLACES I HAVE LIVED

1 - Dorchester
2 - Watertown

That's it. I lived in the same house in Dorchester for 37 years. I've lived in Watertown for 14 years now, albeit at two different locations. I've been blessed with stability in my living quarters.

FIVE PEOPLE I'M TAGGING TO DO THIS THING

Some folks don't care for this sort of thing. I can understand that. It's sort of like being handed an obligation you didn't expect, and if you don't complete it, the person who tagged you might think you don't love him or her. So, if you don't want to do it, it's OK by me. I'll shed no tears.

However, here are the people I'd like to see do this.

Melinda
Anali
Lime
Stoney Charms
Stu, who the last time I tagged him, said he couldn't do it, but the next time I tagged him, he would, so here it is, buddy.

FIVE LIES

1 - The check's in the mail.
2 - My dog ate my homework.
3 - It was that way when I got here.
4 - Drinking? Of course not, officer.
5 - Soon, with more better stuff.