No, Not THIS Meme. I'm Afraid I Have To Pass.

I was tagged for another meme. This time, it was by Sarah. She writes the whimsically-named Que Sarah Sarah. I have no doubt she meant it for good, but there is NO WAY I can complete this meme and not get into trouble.

(Well, I shouldn't say that I have no doubt about her meaning it for good. Here is how she tagged me:

Suldog, simply because he reminds me of the joys of telling someone else what to do.

I'm not sure how to take that. Does she mean that I need to be told what to do? Maybe. But, if that's the case, MY WIFE already has that job. I'm not accepting any new applications for the position. At least, not without accompanying photos.)

(No, I'm not letting go of it. They don't call me SulDOG for nothing, you know.)

Be that as it may - and aren't you getting sick of me saying that? - here is the meme with which she tagged me.

My Life - The Movie

If you had to select celebrities/actors to play the parts in the story of your life today (including yourself), who would it be and why - this can be based on looks or personality.

1. List the people who would play you, and the key people in your life.
2. Give credit to the person who tagged you.
3. Tag four new people to participate.

Now, when she first tagged me, I thought this would be fun. Of course, my first thought was about who would play ME, so that really was fun.

(I came to the conclusion that I would have to play myself, by the way. Can you imagine some actor being shown this, and then being told that he resembles this person enough to play the part? He'd hang himself before production got underway.)

The real problem came about when considering who would play the other people in my life. There is no way I could cast those parts without coming away scathed.

No problem with the men. Men are easy. If you tell a guy that Curly Howard will be portraying him, he won't get pissed off. As a matter of fact, he'll probably laugh. He might even consider it a compliment. Women, though...

Women do not take kindly to being compared with other women, unless the women you compare them with are stunningly beautiful. Try telling your wife that her part would be played by, for instance, Bea Arthur. I dare you. By the time you recover consciousness and get up off of the floor, she'll be gone - and the kids with her, too.

(I said your wife, not MY WIFE. MY WIFE would be played by Barbara Eden when she was a brunette.


But, see, this will get me into trouble, too. She'll say that she doesn't look at all like Barbara Eden, even if she is a brunette in that picture. And then she'll ask me what actress I really think she looks like. And, if you think I'm going to tell you that here, you're off your rocker.

Oh, OK.



It's Dawn Wells. But she has to wear glasses.)

The same problem occurred with every woman in my life. I truly tried to come up with a list of people to play the parts, but every actress I considered had something about her that the woman for whom I was casting would have found objectionable. I could have done it, but not without alienating just about every female who now puts up with me. And it was hard enough finding any in the first place.

So, Sarah, my sincerest apologies, but it just ain't happening.

However, I am going to tag four folks. They will all be women. Any man reading this is certainly free to do this meme, but you know that what I've said here is absolutely true. You'll be taking your life in your hands by doing so.

I tag...

Michelle - Because I know her choices will be interesting, and her writing about them even more so.

Lime - For the same reasons, but from a different perspective.

The Twinkie - Again: Interesting choices will be made, and interesting things written concerning them.

And let's also try Librarian On The Run. She's got a good sense of humor, a literary bent, and (last, but certainly not least) she's a hot brunette with glasses.

I'll be back on Monday, at which time I'll either bore you to death with talk about the Boston College football team or give you a really interesting and well-written family story. No pressure or anything, but if I got some photos from some of you, it might influence what direction I'd take.

(Nope. Not going to drop it. Well, at least until MY WIFE gets back from New York and brains me.)