Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Certifiable? I Can Only Hope!


Courtesy of Beantown Bloggery comes the following news:

Grant Wilfley Casting is opening a satellite office in Boston for the feature film ASHECLIFFE directed by Martin Scorsese and starring Leonardo DiCaprio. Filming begins in the Boston, Mass. area in March 2008. An open call will be held from 10am to 4pm on Saturday Jan. 26 at Boston University (George Sherman Union- Metcalf Hall) 775 Commonwealth Ave. Boston, MA 02215 to cast extras for the feature film.

Casting for people to play mental institution staff (doctors, nurses, orderlies, guards), mental patients (including interesting, quirky or unusual character faces), the malnourished and emaciated concentration camp prisoners (many of whom will have their heads shaved), and people to play WWII American and German soldiers (young athletic types, people with military or law enforcement experience and knowledge of firearms, police officers, fire fighters, ROTC, etc).


What caught my eye was...

... mental patients (including interesting, quirky or unusual character faces) ...

I figure I can do that. The other roles? Not so much. I'm not malnourished or emaciated, that's for sure. Young and athletic? I used to be, but not now. I might be able do one of the institutional staff, but my strength is certainly more towards the institutionalized.

So, I went home last night and took photos of myself. These are just normal poses, of course. I didn't try to look insane.



























































I realize that publishing these has blown any chance I ever had at becoming Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. And there are certain people, with whom I've had political arguments, who think these represent me perfectly well as I really am. I don't care. I want to be a movie star. Mr Scorsese? I am yours to do with what you will. I'll be waiting by the phone.

37 comments:

Tara said...

WOW and Oh My GAWD
Lookin Good...
Just makes me miss ya more :)

Suldog said...

LADY, YOU GOT STRANGE TASTES!

(But, thanks, anyway. Miss you, too.)

sween said...

Holy crap. This is the funniest thing I've seen this month.

My day? It is made.

lime said...

you are a shoe in! what a hoot!

lime said...

ok i came back to accept your link swap offer. i've decided this whole post reminds me very much of calvin & hobbes when calvin makes all his awful faces. except for that very last one....that is just deranged, pure and simple!

The Omnipotent Q said...

Can I have your autograph, Suldog?

Anali said...

I think you got the part! Do I hear Oscar calling your name for next year? ; )

Suldog said...

Sween - Happy to help. Insanely happy, as a matter of fact.

Lime - You know - seriously - that's exactly what I had in mind as I did this, Calvin & Hobbes. In some of these shots, I thought about some of those drawings and tried to replicate them. Nice of you to notice my resemblance to a bratty 6-year-old!

Q - Absolutely. Send a stamped self-addressed envelope to:

Suldog of the Lambs
Bridgewater State Hospital, MA

Enclose a can of fava beans to cover handling costs.

Anali - Do you know Oscar, too? He's a nice guy! I thought he only spoke to me, though...

David Sullivan said...

As an expert in the field of mental health I can guarantee you are a shoe in!

Sharfa said...

Hey - weren't you in One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest?

What a hoot!

Mel said...

hahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahaahaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Mushy said...

What a trip! Go for it!

The last one looks more like an audition for a monster movie! Most any of them might suffice, but giv'em a portfolio of your range!

Kevin Smith said...

Dude - I always like to be able to put a face with my readership, but I'm thinking in your case I should be making an exception.

BTW - I used to live in Watertown off of Arlington St, on Berkeley by Flippello Playground. A little Irish pub opened at the corners of Nichols and Bigelow while I lived there. Used to have lunch there all the time (I worked on Arlington).

And...great shots.

david mcmahon said...

The phone's about to ring. He's gonna offer you the lead role instead.

Say yes.

I'll be your manager, and Mushy can be your publicist!!

Little Wing said...

Got here from somewhere, lol, I was told Uncle Fred was loose!
You are one funny man, great post!!!!!

AliP said...

Oh my dear sweet jeebus. Truly frightening! LOL
darlin' you are an original for sure. Scorcese would be so blessed to have you.

Chris Stone said...

you win.

Was thinking about an insane Pats fan contest but there would be no point.

Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

Suldog, honey, I think the look you were going for has been achieved! Insanity - craziness perfection!

OK, posting your picture around town. Don't even try to get into Georgia... we're waiting!

Thanks for stopping by my humble site. Enjoyed yours!

Uncle Jim said...

You are hereby officially disowned! (Unless you turn out to be a movie star).

Melinda said...

You definitely deserve to be a movie star. The "have a nice day" one? BRILLIANT!

Now if you'll just step away from the computer there are some nice men in white coats here to visit you. (Don't worry about the butterfly nets - it's all perfectly normal)

Merisi said...

Thanks for the laugh, I really needed it (what with photobucket this morning plastering my blog with the equivalent of internet graffiti).

Wait, Sulgod, you may manage to convince them that by March you will look malnourished and/or emaciated however much they need you! One can see from the images you posted that with your talent you'd be able to downsize from one moment to the next (and back, if necessary!). Head shaving should be a breeze. Gosh, you are going to have to work 24/7 because you qualify for every single character they can think up!

Merisi said...

Forgot to mention that it was David fault that I came over here today.
Finally, not only parcels travel to the USofA via Australia!

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Damn, that's hilarious. Here's hopin' they call. You've got it sown up from what I've seen.

Buck said...

LOLOLOL!! Truly frickin' brilliant!

This post takes "self-deprecating humor" to an entirely NEW level...

Pete said...

I would have reognized any of you anywhere. In reality you need to drink less and take more fiber. It was a brillant idea though!!

Craver Vii said...

Going shirtless (naked?) for the insane pictures... nice touch. You're hilarious! Thanks for visiting my blog. Um... Shirt. Put your shirt back on, please.

I hope you get a part. I'll stand up in the theater pointing, and shout, "I know who that is!"

indicaspecies said...

Hilarious!! Thank you for a hearty laugh.

May I take your autograph in advance? :D

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Yikes - I'm gonna' have to sleep with the light on from here on out.. (Eeeeek, the boy's a natural.)

Now I can show my kids what the boogy man looks like (ouch)!

Chemi Che-Mponda said...

Great pics! Did you get the part?

CrazyCath said...

Oh.
My.
Giddy.
Woooooahh....

That was scary. I am soooooooooo sorry I clicked on that link...

mlh said...

Wow! Um...wow!

Sandra Ree said...

...omg...i'm cryin'...

Moannie said...

Oh dear lord!!! A star is born...so many possibilities opening up here; Sebastian in Brideshead Revisited [thanks teddy]Frankenstien [nah, not with those baby blues] Shrek Unplugged? maybe, but have to get the ears fixed.
Such a laugh Suldog, so glad I found you.

Anonymous said...

It is remarkable, very amusing piece

Anonymous said...

The author is really cool. But some of the commentators are just posting stupid words.

Suldog said...

Nope. Didn't get the part. Didn't even get a phone call or e-mail. I guess they assumed I was too true to life for the movies.

Anonymous said...

Great job. I was so desperate to write my essay and with your help I've finally managed.