Thursday, September 04, 2008

No, Not THIS Meme. I'm Afraid I Have To Pass.

I was tagged for another meme. This time, it was by Sarah. She writes the whimsically-named Que Sarah Sarah. I have no doubt she meant it for good, but there is NO WAY I can complete this meme and not get into trouble.

(Well, I shouldn't say that I have no doubt about her meaning it for good. Here is how she tagged me:

Suldog, simply because he reminds me of the joys of telling someone else what to do.

I'm not sure how to take that. Does she mean that I need to be told what to do? Maybe. But, if that's the case, MY WIFE already has that job. I'm not accepting any new applications for the position. At least, not without accompanying photos.)

(No, I'm not letting go of it. They don't call me SulDOG for nothing, you know.)

Be that as it may - and aren't you getting sick of me saying that? - here is the meme with which she tagged me.

My Life - The Movie

If you had to select celebrities/actors to play the parts in the story of your life today (including yourself), who would it be and why - this can be based on looks or personality.

1. List the people who would play you, and the key people in your life.
2. Give credit to the person who tagged you.
3. Tag four new people to participate.

Now, when she first tagged me, I thought this would be fun. Of course, my first thought was about who would play ME, so that really was fun.

(I came to the conclusion that I would have to play myself, by the way. Can you imagine some actor being shown this, and then being told that he resembles this person enough to play the part? He'd hang himself before production got underway.)

The real problem came about when considering who would play the other people in my life. There is no way I could cast those parts without coming away scathed.

No problem with the men. Men are easy. If you tell a guy that Curly Howard will be portraying him, he won't get pissed off. As a matter of fact, he'll probably laugh. He might even consider it a compliment. Women, though...

Women do not take kindly to being compared with other women, unless the women you compare them with are stunningly beautiful. Try telling your wife that her part would be played by, for instance, Bea Arthur. I dare you. By the time you recover consciousness and get up off of the floor, she'll be gone - and the kids with her, too.

(I said your wife, not MY WIFE. MY WIFE would be played by Barbara Eden when she was a brunette.

But, see, this will get me into trouble, too. She'll say that she doesn't look at all like Barbara Eden, even if she is a brunette in that picture. And then she'll ask me what actress I really think she looks like. And, if you think I'm going to tell you that here, you're off your rocker.

Oh, OK.

It's Dawn Wells. But she has to wear glasses.)

The same problem occurred with every woman in my life. I truly tried to come up with a list of people to play the parts, but every actress I considered had something about her that the woman for whom I was casting would have found objectionable. I could have done it, but not without alienating just about every female who now puts up with me. And it was hard enough finding any in the first place.

So, Sarah, my sincerest apologies, but it just ain't happening.

However, I am going to tag four folks. They will all be women. Any man reading this is certainly free to do this meme, but you know that what I've said here is absolutely true. You'll be taking your life in your hands by doing so.

I tag...

Michelle - Because I know her choices will be interesting, and her writing about them even more so.

Lime - For the same reasons, but from a different perspective.

The Twinkie - Again: Interesting choices will be made, and interesting things written concerning them.

And let's also try Librarian On The Run. She's got a good sense of humor, a literary bent, and (last, but certainly not least) she's a hot brunette with glasses.

I'll be back on Monday, at which time I'll either bore you to death with talk about the Boston College football team or give you a really interesting and well-written family story. No pressure or anything, but if I got some photos from some of you, it might influence what direction I'd take.

(Nope. Not going to drop it. Well, at least until MY WIFE gets back from New York and brains me.)


Buck said...

Yup. You nailed it. Never, ever, ever compare your beloved to another woman... even her Mom. Maybe even especially her Mom.

Pain hurts.

CrazyCath said...

Well firstly I came over to say "of course you're on my blogroll!
Then I clicked that link in this post. Big mistake.

Now I need therapy and if YOUR WIFE doesn't brain you, if I get my hands on you then I will!

Photos. Huh! *mumble*

Jay said...

Ahahaha! I was tagged for this one and got myself into trouble with my elder son. He didn't much care for the 'actor' I chose for him... of course, all my 'actors' did have to be characters from Johnny Depp movies ...

By the way, Mr Depp would be quite happy to take you on - as long as you were interesting enough. He doesn't much care about looks, it's one of his most endearing qualities.

Anyway, in that one where you have three cigarettes in your mouth, you look just like him in Arizona Dream.


mlh said...

This is to get even with me because I didn't send a photo or a plane ticket to visit me during naked Labor Day weekend. cruel. You shall come to regret this, my friend.

Suldog said...

OK, here's my blanket apology to all who clicked the link and saw my "crazy" photos (either for the first time or - heaven help you - again.)

I promise to post some MUCH more interesting photos next week. You see, I... actually... received... some... naked people! From one of you readers! I won't say which one - yet - but, YOWZERS!

Stay tuned.

Janet said...

Holy cow, someone sent naked photos.
See this is why I only had 4 people in my movie. All my bloggy friends will play themselves in cameo appearances.
And even then, I got one very mean comment about the whole thing from someone who should know it was supposed to be funny. Obviously I missed with the funny.

Sandra Ree said...


and you said you won't tell...

Got 2 Trot Librarian said...

Hmmm.... I'll have to think about this one. Thanks for the tag!

lime said...

ok, so lemme get this right. yer too cowardly to do this meme because it will get you in trouble with the women in your life but you're brave enough to ask fer nekkid pictures of your female readers? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

and you're daring to tag me with this thing?

oh lawsie mercy.....what have you done?

Suldog said...

Yes, I promised not to tell, if someone sent me photos. However, the FEMALE who sent them specifically said it was OK for me to publish them. And so I shall.

But not until next week ;-)

CrazyCath said...

You do like to play your cards close to your chest donchya? (Is that the same as "treat 'em mean an' keep 'em keen"?)
Remember you need to BURN those naked photos before YOUR WIFE gets home or you will be in serious trouble...!

PS - When next week? (Not that I WANT to look at other females in the nude, I just want to know, that's all)
(And I hope you realise that having advertised your intention to post these naked photos, there will be a serious power surge next week as a whole bunch of males click on your blog...and it will self destruct! lol)

Suldog said...

CC - If I said the exact day that I'm going to publish the photos, that would ruin the suspense. And it would also drive down my readership. I want the folks who only want to see the photos to keep coming back for my other stuff, too :-)

Rest assured, all evidence will be destroyed at the appropriate time.

lime said...

ok, i actually like the click through link. i enjoyed it the first time and savored it the second. yeah, i am unwell. but then again you saw the click through i provided this week.

Miss Understood said...

This was hilarious! I'm a newbie so didn't see the photos until today. You made me spit my cornflakes out and squirt milk out of my nose.

Suldog said...

Miss - Do you have any photos of that?

mlh said...

Oh, btw, I've accepted the meme. It will appear for my Sunday post.