Yay! Thanksgiving Is Now Officially Half-Dead!

Now that I'm all calmed down, it's time to get back to my more gentle side.

But, before that can happen, I have one last ugly thought.



WALMART CAN KISS MY ASS

 
The greedy fucks are opening at 8pm on Thanksgiving itself. They don't even have the decency to wait until the day after. So all of their employees do NOT get Thanksgiving off.

I don't care if I'm on fire and the only place I can get water is Walmart. I will NEVER set foot in one of their stinking stores again. And, no offense, but if you do, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Hmmmm. Here's something else of interest...



K-MART CAN SUCK ON MY BALLS 

Seems they're doing the same thing. 



Oops! More good news!

TARGET CAN EAT SHIT AND DIE



Oh, OK, I guess I'm not quite cooled down enough yet. I'm going to go hit myself in the skull with a hammer until I pass out. In the meantime, though, if maybe you're just a tad peeved at these corporate turds, like I am, I give you permission to cut and paste every bit of this post, run it on your own blog (or on Facebook, or tweet about it, or just print it out and send it to the assholes as many times as you have spare stamps, please.)

In the meantime, I can't think of a better time to re-post this. It's a good old-fashioned Christmas Carol I penned last year (and which IT set to video, the demented bastard.) You can hear it in all it's putrid glory, if you click this here thing:



Lyrics, for those who can't make 'em out.

Commercial Christmas

Up your bum with sugar plums
It's November, when Santa comes!
He's bringing you a credit card
And he wants you to charge it hard
It's Christmas
It's Commercial Christmas
Jesus Christ got nothin' to do with this

Friday's black, they're on attack
At Wal-Mart, Costco, and Radio Shack
They won't stop until you've bled
They need your green to get out of the red
It's Christmas!
It's Commercial Christmas!
Jesus Christ got nothin' to do with this

It's Veterans Day! Put up your tree!
Slide on down the chimney with me!
We'll go on a spending spree!
Bend over nine times, the tenth one's free!

(lots of stuff - crummy solo, spoken words, etc.)

Hey, hey, Rudolph! Whaddayasay?
Are you all set to pull that sleigh?
I'll drink until my nose gets redder
Then we can light up the sky togedder
It's Christmas!
It's Commercial Christmas!
Poor old Christ, up on his cross
His eyes bulge out, He's at a loss
He remembers bein' in the manger
But He can't remember anything stranger
Than Christmas
Commercial Christmas
It seems He died for your revolving credit account!

I'll be back on Monday (unless something I see over the weekend gives me apoplexy, which is always a distinct possibility.)