Whatever Title I Put On This Will Be Inadequate, So To Hell With It

Did you read THE GAFFY AWARD (Not Safe For Work, etc.)?

If Yes, did you also read Eeka And Suldog, Sitting In A Tree...?

And how about Blushed?

If all of those are in your past, God bless you. You are to be congratulated for completing that trilogy of dildo-centric posts. I applaud your perseverance, at the very least, and am amazed that you have returned for more.

If you have read none of those, then what follows will make not even the tiniest bit of sense to you. I suggest you bone up - so to speak - by reading them, but be aware that they are full to the brim with vile filth (which is, of course, the best kind) and may contain photos that will get you fired (much as this post may following all of this superfluous jibber-jabber.)

Okay. That's enough warning. Here are the photos taken at THE GAFFY AWARDS DINNER.

Oh, one note. There appear to be oncoming headlights in a number of these shots. Actually, that's just the weird lighting in the place. We weren't actually in any danger of being run over.

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Here are some more of the lovely nametags constructed by eeka.



Here I am, about to bring THE GAFFY out into the open. You can't see my thoughts, but here is what I was thinking: "I am about to pull a bright red dildo out of this box. There are whole tables of unsuspecting dinner patrons all around us, some of them with children. Is there any way I can do this gracefully?"

The answer, of course, was "No".



MY WIFE, by far the smartest one in this bunch of reprobates, did not trust any of us to leave her out of the photos. She did not want her face seen in such lurid company. Therefore, she brought her own pixilation.



The lovely Elodia, wife of Bruce Coltin (right), listens intently to whatever bullshit I was spouting at the moment.



Adam Gaffin, of Universal Hub, tries desperately to suck his drink down as quickly as possible in order to become oblivious to his surroundings. Meanwhile, EEKA'S SPOUSE enjoys a nacho.



And here we see me holding (as gingerly as possible) THE GAFFY. Notice the lovely pedestal which eeka fashioned for it. Also notice that I am trying to hold it in such a way as to keep it out of sight of the youngsters who were eating at the tables both behind me and to my left.



Here I am presenting THE GAFFY to eeka, as deserving a recipient as there is ever likely to be.



As eeka thanks the little people (EEKA'S SPOUSE wondered why The Roloffs deserved thanks) I eye the award in a manner that would suggest... well, I don't rightly know what it would suggest, other than the fact that I'm a big dope.



eeka continues her acceptance speech, I continue looking like a dope, and a member of the dinner party directly behind us asks her companion if it's too late to go eat somewhere else.



Okay, if I had any sense of self-respect whatsoever, I'd leave this photo out. I'm all about bringing the funny, though, and if I have to look like an imbecile to deliver the goods, so be it. One good thing about this photo: If they ever decide to do a live action version of Wallace & Gromit, I'll be a shoo-in if I send this photo to the casting director.



Here eeka proudly displays her rather large award. Since there is no sound, you can't hear our waiter banging dishes in the background in an effort to get us to leave as quickly as possible.



Elodia and I look on in extremely wide-eyed amazement at something. I have no idea what it was. It must have been something you don't see every day.



Ah, yes. A big dildo on a dinner table. That must have been it.



Our waiter clears the table as quickly as is humanly possible. Remember how earlier I said that you couldn't see my thoughts? Consider yourself very lucky to not see his.



And th-th-th-that's all, folks!

THE GAFFY will reside in eeka's care for now, waiting to be awarded to whomever she deems a worthy recipient. I'd like to take this opportunity to say "No tag backs!"

Soon, with... aw, heck, any promises I make are likely to end up being hollow. Let's just say "See you soon!"