Friday, August 28, 2009

Blushed



That's what I did last night - repeatedly.

You may recall THE GAFFY (NOT SAFE FOR WORK!) Well, it was officially awarded last night, as per Wednesday's announcement concerning the ceremony. And my face turned every conceivable shade of red because I am the undisputed King Of Blushing.

Understand this, if you don't already: I am not a prude. I am, however, still my parent's child. I was raised to have the normal sense of decorum that a Catholic boy born in the 1950's would be expected to have. While I've done my damnedest to rid myself of it, the plopping of an almost-fluorescent pink jelly-filled dildo onto my table in the middle of a fully-populated restaurant will still tend to make the blood rush to my face. Odd, that.

MY WIFE was there, of course, as well as Eeka The Lesbian and EEKA'S SPOUSE.

(Eeka prefers that her name be spelled without capitalization, thusly: eeka. I will conform to that from now on, but in conjunction with "The Lesbian" it seemed somehow lacking. Of course, she is much more than just "The Lesbian", but there's something about that name, taken as a whole, that just tickles me. Her, too, apparently, as she put that on her name tag.

Well, I see now that I shouldn't have started this as a parenthetical, but I'm too lazy to go back and edit it. Anyway, there were name tags, provided by eeka. Each one showed me...

Oh, hell. Why bother with a description when I can show you an actual example of the real thing?


eeka made them for everyone. They all had the same photo. eeka's tag read "eeka the lesbian"; her spouse's tag said "EEKA'S SPOUSE"; MY WIFE's tag said "HIS WIFE" [so as not to be confused with anyone else's spouse]; and so on.

Fame is not always what it's cracked up to be.)

Aside from the previously-mentioned attendees, others who showed up were Adam Gaffin, the most gracious host over at the superb Boston-centric site, Universal Hub; and Bruce Coltin, of Coltin1948. Accompanying Bruce was his lovely wife, Elodia, a clinical psychologist (who no doubt came along so that she could later write a paper about this odd gathering.) All of these people were swell company, witty, nowhere near as embarrassed as I was, and altogether fun to be with.

We had drinks, dinner, all of the usual stuff that goes with an evening out, and then the award was dragged out onto the table for presentation to eeka. From the moment of its appearance, until the time when we left, I was never less than pink-faced, rising to bright red on far more than one occasion.

eeka had fashioned a marvelous... well, she gave the award a platform to stand upon. The recognizable portion of the shaft protruded in an extremely upright manner from a square base of her own invention, upon which was the inscription "The Go And FFuck Yourself Award".

(If I get photos from eeka, I will post some. Or, more likely, I'll direct you to her place when she posts about this. Needless to say, this would be greatly enhanced by photos.)

Oh, heck, I'll tell you what. I'll wait for the photos and then finish this on Monday. I apologize for whetting your appetite and then providing you with crumbs, but words alone won't do this scene justice.

Relatively soon, with more blushing stuff.


26 comments:

Jazz said...

Blushing? You? Damn, I just can't picture it.

jinksy said...

Do your ears go pink too?

Chris@Maugeritaville said...
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Chris@Maugeritaville said...

The degree of utter bizarreness (yeah, I made the word up, so what?) involved in this whole dildofest is what puts the SUL in Suldog. I don't even know what that means, but somehow it makes sense.

I'm in a fog this morning. Forgive me.

Michelle H. said...

This is... wow! The name tag idea is priceless. I wonder what the talk at the other tables was about.

I would kill to have a picture of you blushing, as evidence. You? Suldog? The man's man? Blushing? I don't believe it and can't for the life of me imagine it.

Mrs. C. said...

Geez, you've just described some of the tamer bachelorette parties I've been to in the past few years. There was one where the "Foot O' Onion Rings" was presented on an, ahem, keepsake for the bride-to-be.

I love that photo of you holding the marital aid, by the way. You look like a camera-shy 4-H kid showing off his prize-winning carrot in the newspaper.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Fr. Maroney called. He's been expecting you at Confession. :)

Molly said...

Ah, you started blushing the second I walked up and introduced myself...we weren't even in the restaurant yet, and THE GAFFY was still in the car with eeka.

Uh...that last part sounds terribly wrong, but since I'm sure it's making you blush, I'm gonna leave it there.

--EEKA'S SPOUSE

Expat From Hell said...

Father Maroney called again, Suldog. This Saturday's confession has been expanded so you can fit in all of your commentary. Extra innings, you might say. The fact that Bruce Coltin was there might make the whole thing require a "relief preacher".

Wish I had been there with y'all.

Uncle Jim said...
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Sandy Kessler said...

I can tell you are overjoyed..

Gaston Studio said...

I'd blush too if I was caught holding up a giant red pepper! ;-D

Eddie Bluelights said...

"Waiter, there is something wrong with this carrot!"

Buck said...

Heh. I relate to the blushing thing most of all, what with never having been to a similar "awards" occasion, or a bachelorette party either, for that matter. My ex- was WELL aware of my tendency to blush at the drop of a hat (or other object), and exploited it at the MOST inopportune times. She was cute that way. (/sarcasm)

Elizabeth Bradley said...

You were "In The Pink" alright.

Ananda girl said...

Oh please! I am far from disappointed... hee hee. Tell eeka that I LOVE the name tags... that photo with the red ribbon will be cracking me up for weeks. Well worth the visit today. Monday will only add icing to this cake.

Janet said...

eeka is brilliant, with or without caps.

Debbie said...

I am loving those nametags. Do they come in bulk?

lime said...

oh i can just imagine the whole scene! i can't wait for the pictures. the nametags are just a hoot!

Daryl said...

I wish I had been there .. the name tag is fantabulous .. and had I been reading you more often I'd know what this was all about .. off to see what's on eeka's post

Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3 said...

sounds like a blast - although am somewhat confused so will go back and catch up on posts! - or will that not help??

Karen said...

I think your profile pic should be changed... to the one on the name badge, of course ;)

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

Say cheeeese :D

Hilary said...

Trying to picture you blushing.. nah!

Love the name tag idea. Too funny.

Shammickite said...

You certainly get up to some weird extravagances with your strange friends, I think I would have been blushing just to be in the same restaurant as you people. I blush very easily too. It's the red hair wot duz it.

Chris Stone said...

love the name tag! lol. that sounds funny.