Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Solomon The Milkman

The first night of Hanukkah is tonight, so I'm re-printing this piece.

(In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'll clue you in. My goal is to write 365 really good pieces. Once I've done that, I'll keep trotting them out in perpetuity and never write anything new again. So far, I've got about six. Your count may be lower.)

Anyway, without fur the rado, here's Solomon The Milkman.

I'm going to tell you about my Jewish roots.

My grandfather Sullivan was a milkman for H. P. Hood for many years. He told this story, which took place during the days when he did his route on a horse-drawn wagon.

His route traveled through the Mattapan section of Boston, which at that time was almost exclusively populated by Jewish families. Now, some of the people to whom he delivered milk thought he was Jewish. They thought his name was Solomon, not Sullivan.

I'm not positively sure how this assumption came about, but it's not a stretch to imagine what might have happened. Someone in the neighborhood probably asked what his name was and he (or, more likely, one of his customers with perhaps an Eastern European accent) said, "Sullivan", and whoever had asked the question, with the idea already in mind that he might be Jewish, heard "Solomon". That person told someone else, and so on.

It was possible. My grandfather didn't have the map of Ireland on his face like I do. He could have passed. Since he delivered milk in a Jewish neighborhood, his customers might naturally have assumed that he was Jewish, too. I don't suppose he would have had any reason to disabuse them of this notion. He probably figured it wouldn't hurt business to let them keep on thinking it.

Anyway, one day while he was doing his route, some of the older Jewish men called for him to come down off of his wagon so that he could help them meet the required numbers for a minyan; that is, so that they could have enough for prayer service, which required at least 10 men.

They yelled to him, "Solomon! We need another for a minyan! You got time maybe?"

My grandfather was sharp enough to know what they were talking about. He had been delivering milk in that neighborhood for some time, so he was familiar with words and phrases and customs that an Irishman might otherwise not be expected to know. The question was, what should he tell these men? Should he spill the beans and let them know that he wasn't really named Solomon, but Sullivan? That he wasn't Jewish, but Catholic, and that his ancestry was Irish and French?

Well, my grandfather figured it this way: Who did it hurt if he helped them out? As long as they thought he was Jewish, God wouldn't be mad at them for including an Irishman in their prayer service, and he also figured that God would probably look kindly on him for doing the old Jews a mitzvah. So, my grandfather parked the wagon and made the minyan for them.

He faked his way through by following the lead of the others. Having attended Catholic mass for many years, he knew he could probably get by with indistinct mumbling as long as he did the right body motions, so he kept his voice low and bowed when they did and so forth. Afterwards, the old men thanked him and he got back on his wagon and finished his route. Of course, from that day forward there was little doubt along Blue Hill Avenue that Tom Sullivan (that is, Solomon The Milkman) was Jewish - and a fairly devout Jew, at that.

Therefore, if someone calls me "Solly", instead of "Sully", I won't complain. My grandfather wasn't really a Jew, but he played one on his milk route.

Barukh atah Adonai, Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam shehecheyanu v'kiyimanu v'higi'anu laz'man hazeh. (Amein)

Happy Hanukkah!


David Sullivan said...

I love this post and put it up at my spot. said...

What a great story...thanks Solly!

Suldog said...

Thanks, guys (or, should it be "goys"?)

Ha! Hanukkah Humor!

kuanyin333 said...

You're such an excellent storyteller! Happy Hanukkah!

lime said...

heheh, funny. we're not jewish either but he have some friends we enjoy celebrating hannukah with so our menorah will be l it and we'll be enjoying latkes

Stu said...

That is an outstanding story. I plan on telling it to my dad, as I'm interested in his take on the masquerade. I think Solomon The Milkman did the right thing, all the way around. But my dad is like Super-Jew, so I'm gonna find out what the traditional viewpoint.


Latke Larry

Unknown said...

Hee hee! Yeah, I remember that story. I love it.

BTW, tonight is the second night of Hanukkah. The holiday began December 4 when the sun went down. (Today was the first day of Hanukkah.)


Stu said...

To expand on the previous comment, Jews follow a lunar calendar. So we celebrate holy days from sundown to sundown. Hence, the eve of December 4, 2007 would have been the first night of Hanukkah, starting the first "day" - so that the last day of Hanukkah ends at sundown, December 12th, 2007. And next year, Hanukkah will start at a completely different date, 'cause that's how we roll, baby!

Suldog said...

Of course, I defer to Latke Larry on this one :-)

I was going by a calendar from a sushi restaurant (no joke) and that's hardly a reliable source for holy day info.

Well, OK, maybe for Shinto...

david mcmahon said...

That's up there with the best of them, Jim. Good on ya.

Catmoves said...

Hi Solly. I had "nothing productive to do", so I followed David's links for best blogs and wound up being entertained royally by your post.
Thank you.