100 Things - Part Three

And now, the continuing saga of me.

51 - I was born on a Saturday. According to the poem, "... Saturday's child works hard for a living..." More so lately than before, but that's probably because I've been wasting so much time writing this shit.

52 - I once pitched a no-hitter. I was 12. It was a game of doubles, a variation of baseball played when you only have enough for 5 or 6 players to a side. You have to get at least a double, and you can't hit to the opposite field. Second base becomes first base; a force-out, no tag needed. By the end of the game, as my guys realized what was happening, they made a couple of intentional errors on plays that would have been close, just to save it for me. Still, it was a no-hitter, and it was my no-hitter, so I'm as proud as you can be about something that raggy.

53 - I have a 44" chest. However, I wear an A cup, so it's not as impressive as you might think at first.

54 - Technically, I'm a professional bowler. I entered and won a couple of minor local tournaments when I was younger. Won a couple of hundred dollars. Couldn't win one now to save my life. I never knew what I was doing to be so good; I was just a natural. One day, I lost it. Since I had no idea what I was doing in the first place, everything I tried to get it back didn't work.

55 - My favorite meal of the whole year is Christmas dinner at my Grandmother's.

56 - Among the weird things I like to eat? Turnip sandwiches, cold macaroni and cheese, and tapioca with pretzels. But not all at once.

57 - My favorite piece of classical music is Prokofiev's 2nd Symphony.

58 - Aside from the bass guitar, I'm proficient on drums, keyboards, and 6-string.

59 - I once had second-degree burns over 90% of my body. It's not as bad as it might sound. It was an extremely bad sunburn. I was severely uncomfortable for a week or so. Everything that touched me hurt. I've never had a serious sunburn since then. I've never worn shorts since then, and I always slather my face and arms with sunblock when I play ball.

60 - I'm an only child. Yes, that explains it.

61 - I've never seen Gone With The Wind or an entire James Bond movie.

62 - I have, however, seen every Marx Brothers film. I'll take it, thanks.

63 - My favorite non-domesticated animal is the bobcat. MY WIFE was nice enough to "buy" me a couple of them one time. For my birthday, she bought a sponsorship of the bobcats at a wildlife sanctuary in New Hampshire, in my name.

64 - My IQ is either 132 or 136. I forget which, so let's say 79.

65 - I take very long, very hot showers. If both MY WIFE and I wish to shower, I have to let her go first. Otherwise, I'm liable to use all of the hot water.

66 - I have green eyes.

67 - My mom threw away my baseball cards. But it's OK. She has heard about it from me for far too long now. All is forgiven, Mom! I love you more than a box of baseball cards.

68 - My shoe size is 10 1/2 D.

69 - It is taking all of my willpower not to make a sophomoric sex joke here.

70 - I'm a hideous golfer. My best round ever was a 98.

71 - My favorite air freshener scent is lavender.

72 - I prefer pullover sweaters, as opposed to button down or zippered.

73 - I ran cross country in high school. Now I get winded running across the street.

74 - I think the theory of relativity is basically a load of crap. Actually, I don't believe in time, per se. It is a useful human invention to chart the course of our lives, but it doesn't actually exist. We are here, now, and that's all there is. The past is gone and the future hasn't happened yet. There is no possibility of time travel. If I find out otherwise, I'll let you know.

75 - I hate mushrooms. I try not to eat fungus if I can help it.

I'm finding it's a lot harder to come up with 100 semi-interesting things about myself than I would have thought. See you tomorrow when we scrape the bottom of the barrel.

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