Monday, October 24, 2005

100 Things - Part Two

I know you've been patiently waiting, and I thank you for your indulgence. Here you go - another 25 things about my favorite subject. As I said in the first installment, I'll probably be expanding upon all of these for future entries, so consider yourself warned.

26 - My Mom introduced me to MY WIFE. She was friends with my mother before we knew each other. They both sang at the same church. Meanwhile, I was destroying myself with drugs, hideous relationships doomed from the start, and other assorted wastes of time. So, in the time-honored tradition of bad sitcom plots, my mom fixed me up with a date. It worked.

27 - I ran for state representative in 1992. As a Libertarian, which probably tells you the outcome right there.

28 - I had an imaginary baseball team. Once, when I was sick as a child, my friends did one of the nicest things ever done for me. They brought me a shoebox filled with baseball cards. I think they fished it out of somebody's trash, but that was OK. It provided me with countless hours of entertainment. I chose 25 players whose names or looks or something I liked, and named them the Green Sox. I made up, entirely on my own, a dice game that approximated baseball. My team was a great success. The Green Sox won five World Series one summer...

29 - My favorite current TV show is "House". Close seconds are "Malcolm In The Middle", "My Name Is Earl", "The Office", and "Everybody Hates Chris".

30 - I tried out for Jeopardy once. Didn't make it, but I probably could have. I blew an easy question on the test. Friggin' Albany.

31 - I did appear on an extremely short-lived quiz show called Think Twice. It was a PBS production. Blew it on the last question, and received second prize. Friggin' Kitty Wells.

32 - I have implants. No, not boobies; teeth. My uppers are just about all plastic and metal.

33 - I never attended college. I was going to be a rock and roll star. Whuffo I need that shit? I later went to a broadcasting school that, after I graduated, earned certification as a real college.

34 - I once drove an ice cream truck for a living. Well, not for a living; it wasn't profitable enough for that. Let's say I did it as a pastime, although I thought it was going to be a living at the time. The most money I ever earned was when one day I showed a bunch of sailors on leave in Boston where they could pick up some grass and I got a finders fee.

35 - Another successful foray into the workaday world was my stint as a carnival barker. In this instance, I worked for my dad. He built a "Walking Charlie", which was a game involving pitching baseballs at dummies. No, I wasn't one of the dummies.

36 - My least favorite song in the entire world is The Theme From The Bodyguard. I-E-I-E-I-Will Always Love Yoooooouuuuuu. You may as well drive rusty nails into my spine. Ugh.

37 - My favorite Stephen King book is IT. The television rendering was pale and weak.

38 - I've read Tom Sawyer 33 times. I read it every summer, and have done so since I was 16.

39 - There are three different versions of The Bible in our house. NIV Study, King James, and New American Standard (Catholic).

40 - I was on both Bozo and Boomtown. If you're from Boston and around my age, you know what I'm talking about.

41 - I am a former state chair of the Libertarian Party in Massachusetts.

42 - I've been in seven bands. They were World's End, Live Wire, P. S. Wild, Squiddly Diddly, City Limits, Soldier, and Assault & Battery. I would include another one called Complicated Tornado, but it wasn't so much a band as it was a state of mind. I think for my 15 years or so I cleared about $46.

43 - I am a Godfather. Joseph is my Godson. I still don't quite believe it when I say that. I mean, I'm a nice guy and if anything were to happen necessitating my taking over Joseph's upbringing, I like to think I'd be a good Godparent, but if I looked at my track record, I wouldn't think to make me one.

44 - I've literally been around the world. My dad worked for various airlines for a goodly portion of his life, so I benefited via cheap travel. On one trip to Asia, the itinerary literally took us around the world.

45 - I've had 8 cats.

46 - My favorite comic strip of all time is Calvin & Hobbes.

47 - My favorite color is green.

48 - My lucky number is 29.

49 - I never wear a watch. Neither does MY WIFE. We are never late. We have a watch, but we only use it once or twice a year, as a fashion accessory.

50 - I don't carry a wallet. Nor do I carry a man-purse. My entire life is in my front pocket.

We are now halfway through this exercise in megalomania. See you tomorrow!

Go to Part Three


Anonymous said...

You're not going to tell the whole world "the rest of the story" about the baseball cards are you????

Suldog said...

Aw, you'll come out of it OK, I promise.

Unspoken said...

Love The Office. It is my #1.

Unspoken said...

Oh, also pretty cool your mom introduced you to YOUR WIFE!