100 Things - Part Two

I know you've been patiently waiting, and I thank you for your indulgence. Here you go - another 25 things about my favorite subject. As I said in the first installment, I'll probably be expanding upon all of these for future entries, so consider yourself warned.

26 - My Mom introduced me to MY WIFE. She was friends with my mother before we knew each other. They both sang at the same church. Meanwhile, I was destroying myself with drugs, hideous relationships doomed from the start, and other assorted wastes of time. So, in the time-honored tradition of bad sitcom plots, my mom fixed me up with a date. It worked.

27 - I ran for state representative in 1992. As a Libertarian, which probably tells you the outcome right there.

28 - I had an imaginary baseball team. Once, when I was sick as a child, my friends did one of the nicest things ever done for me. They brought me a shoebox filled with baseball cards. I think they fished it out of somebody's trash, but that was OK. It provided me with countless hours of entertainment. I chose 25 players whose names or looks or something I liked, and named them the Green Sox. I made up, entirely on my own, a dice game that approximated baseball. My team was a great success. The Green Sox won five World Series one summer...

29 - My favorite current TV show is "House". Close seconds are "Malcolm In The Middle", "My Name Is Earl", "The Office", and "Everybody Hates Chris".

30 - I tried out for Jeopardy once. Didn't make it, but I probably could have. I blew an easy question on the test. Friggin' Albany.

31 - I did appear on an extremely short-lived quiz show called Think Twice. It was a PBS production. Blew it on the last question, and received second prize. Friggin' Kitty Wells.

32 - I have implants. No, not boobies; teeth. My uppers are just about all plastic and metal.

33 - I never attended college. I was going to be a rock and roll star. Whuffo I need that shit? I later went to a broadcasting school that, after I graduated, earned certification as a real college.

34 - I once drove an ice cream truck for a living. Well, not for a living; it wasn't profitable enough for that. Let's say I did it as a pastime, although I thought it was going to be a living at the time. The most money I ever earned was when one day I showed a bunch of sailors on leave in Boston where they could pick up some grass and I got a finders fee.

35 - Another successful foray into the workaday world was my stint as a carnival barker. In this instance, I worked for my dad. He built a "Walking Charlie", which was a game involving pitching baseballs at dummies. No, I wasn't one of the dummies.

36 - My least favorite song in the entire world is The Theme From The Bodyguard. I-E-I-E-I-Will Always Love Yoooooouuuuuu. You may as well drive rusty nails into my spine. Ugh.

37 - My favorite Stephen King book is IT. The television rendering was pale and weak.

38 - I've read Tom Sawyer 33 times. I read it every summer, and have done so since I was 16.

39 - There are three different versions of The Bible in our house. NIV Study, King James, and New American Standard (Catholic).

40 - I was on both Bozo and Boomtown. If you're from Boston and around my age, you know what I'm talking about.

41 - I am a former state chair of the Libertarian Party in Massachusetts.

42 - I've been in seven bands. They were World's End, Live Wire, P. S. Wild, Squiddly Diddly, City Limits, Soldier, and Assault & Battery. I would include another one called Complicated Tornado, but it wasn't so much a band as it was a state of mind. I think for my 15 years or so I cleared about $46.

43 - I am a Godfather. Joseph is my Godson. I still don't quite believe it when I say that. I mean, I'm a nice guy and if anything were to happen necessitating my taking over Joseph's upbringing, I like to think I'd be a good Godparent, but if I looked at my track record, I wouldn't think to make me one.

44 - I've literally been around the world. My dad worked for various airlines for a goodly portion of his life, so I benefited via cheap travel. On one trip to Asia, the itinerary literally took us around the world.

45 - I've had 8 cats.

46 - My favorite comic strip of all time is Calvin & Hobbes.

47 - My favorite color is green.

48 - My lucky number is 29.

49 - I never wear a watch. Neither does MY WIFE. We are never late. We have a watch, but we only use it once or twice a year, as a fashion accessory.

50 - I don't carry a wallet. Nor do I carry a man-purse. My entire life is in my front pocket.

We are now halfway through this exercise in megalomania. See you tomorrow!

Go to Part Three