My Teeth Are In My Hat (Finale)

SUNDAY

When last you left me (or I left you; it was probably my fault) we had swum, eaten and rocked.

(I wasn't sure about "swum", but spellcheck didn't say anything, so I'm going with it.)

(Oddly enough, spellcheck has a problem with "spellcheck". For some reason, that makes me happy.)

Prior to leaving you then, I left you before. At that time, I had not told you why the gap-toothed boy was wearing a number. Today, you will find out the reason; right now, as a matter of fact.

He was in a road race.

(Anti-climax is my middle name and I'm pissed at my parents.)

Most of you guessed he was in a race, so it's not much of a surprise. The surprise comes from how well he did. I'll give you that result in just a bit, but first here are some more photos of him (as well as of his aunt and his grandmother - guess which is which!)

[This photo is for those of you who thought, from the photo I ran in Part One, that Darian had no arms.

This photo proves he has at least one.]

[Darian with his aunt and his grandmother, though not necessarily in that order.

Yeah, I know. Neither one looks old enough to be what I'm telling you they are, but it's the truth.]

[And here they are showing off their numbers. Unfortunately, now it looks like Darian has no arms again.]

On Sunday, we checked out of the hotel and drove to Middleboro, where three of our relatives were entered in a 5k road race. The three were Darian, to whom you've already been introduced; his aunt, Ava; and his grandmother, Victoria. Ava is the shorter blond, #1289, and, yes, she IS Darian's aunt. I'm looking forward to when they both get to be about 19 or 20 and Ava introduces Darian to someone as her nephew or Darian introduces Ava as his aunt. Given their closeness in age, as well as their huge disparity in skin tone, nobody is going to believe them. I want to be a witness to those conversations and see how long it takes for them to convince someone that it's true.

(How it works is this: Darian is the son of Victoria's oldest daughter, who is in her late twenties. He is, as I recall, about 6 or 7 months younger than Ava.)

Victoria had been in the previous year's race and the kids were so impressed with their Mom/Grandmom, they decided they wanted to join her in this year's edition of it. Although it would slow her time considerably from last year, Victoria is a great Mom/Grandmom and she agreed to them being with her on the course.

The race was, as I said, 5K. There were running divisions and walking divisions. Victoria, Ava, and Darian were entered in the walking division. The whole race was to benefit the Sacred Heart Food Pantry, so there was that added goodness to the affair.

MY WIFE, Bro-In-Law Joe, and I saw the start and then waited for them to finish. The course was more-or-less circular, so they would be finishing at about the same spot. We enjoyed some coffee and bagels while our three runners made their way through Middleboro.

Given the kid's ages, we were fully expecting all three to not separate and then finish together. To our surprise, we saw Darian running all by himself. His aunt and Grandmother were nowhere to be seen.

Actually, I shouldn't say Darian was running by himself. While he had left his two relatives behind, he had picked up six or seven teenaged girls. He was in the middle of a pack of female Middleboro track team members, keeping pace all the way to the finish line. He beat his relatives by almost three minutes. As the story was later related to us, he could have probably knocked off another four or five minutes but, every time he came to an intersection with a stop sign, he would stop and wait for Ava and Victoria to catch up. Once they did, he would start his own pace again. The only time he didn't stop and wait for them was on the final leg.

Look at these results for the walkers (I've bolded the names of my kin):

September 29, 2013

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Results By Spitler Race Systems, Inc.

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Place   Name                   City            Bib No  Age Gend  Group  Time     
   1    Anne Gallagher         Raynham          1172    49   F   40-49  28:46.0
   2    Colin Gaughan          Middleboro       1175    15   M    1-18  29:00.0
   3    John Boersdamm         Middleboro       1126    48   M   40-49  29:39.0
   4    Samuel Silva           Westport         1396    49   M   40-49  30:37.0
   5    Graham Wright          Quincy           1340    52   M   50-59  34:37.0
   6    Danielle Black         Middleboro       1122    14   F    1-18  39:27.0
   7    Pamela Silva           Middleboro       1397    45   F   40-49  40:20.0
   8    Jeremy Marino          Lakeville        1385     8   M    1-18  41:50.0
   9    Jacqueline DeMichele   Lakeville        1153    48   F   40-49  42:44.0
  10    Sheryl Daley           Middleboro       1149    46   F   40-49  42:44.0
  11    Emily St.Laurent       Lakeville        1393    20   F   19-39  43:01.0
  12    Ian Abreu              Somerville       1390    23   M   19-39  43:02.0
  13    Nicole St. Laurent     Lakeville        1394    13   F    1-18  43:07.0
  14    Joseph St. Laurent     Lakeville        1395    47   M   40-49  43:12.0
  15    Alyssa Murphy          Middleboro       1239    15   F    1-18  44:53.0
  16    Christine Murphy       Middleboro       1238    49   F   40-49  44:58.0
  17    Torie McDermott        East Bridgewater 1304    11   F    1-18  45:12.0
  18    Kiyah McDermott        East Bridgewater 1308     9   F    1-18  45:16.0
  19    John Beausoleil        Middleboro       1115    48   M   40-49  45:28.0
  20    Lorrie Maree           Middleboro       1226    63   F   60-69  45:45.0
  21    Avril Jackson-Black    Middleboro       1197    54   F   50-59  46:03.0
  22    Caroline Woodward      Hanson           1288    15   F    1-18  46:12.0
  23    Daniel McDermott       East Bridgewater 1307    33   M   19-39  46:23.0
  24    Rosanne Marino                          1387    45   F   40-49  46:40.0
  25    Emily Marino           Lakeville        1386    11   F    1-18  46:40.0
  26    Kimberly Robbins       Middleboro       1255    45   F   40-49  47:16.0
  27    Glenn Gately                            1370    65   M   60-69  47:19.0
  28    Veronica Ramos         Middleboro       1250    41   F   40-49  47:29.0
  29    Carol Kalchthaler      Middleboro       1203    72   F   70-99  47:37.0
  30    Robert Kalchthaler     Middleboro       1202    75   M   70-99  47:37.0
  31    Lisa Beausoleil        Middleboro       1114    42   F   40-49  49:11.0
  32    Shayne Hynes           Middleboro       1195    43   F   40-49  49:36.0
  33    Carolyn Doyle          Plympton         1158    73   F   70-99  49:39.0
  34    Carolyn McDermott      Middleboro       1303    57   F   50-59  50:01.0
  35    Erin Wright            Quincy           1341    32   F   19-39  50:06.0
  36    Michelle Henry         Middleboro       1306    42   F   40-49  51:11.0
  37    Valerie Gaughan        Middleboro       1174    47   F   40-49  52:04.0
  38    Andrew Grenon          Lakeville        1399    50   M   50-59  52:39.0
  39    Patricia Egan          MIddleboro       1326    16   F    1-18  52:44.0
  40    Megan Berryman         Middleboro       1323    17   F    1-18  52:44.0
  41    amanda ford            Middleboro       1169    20   F   19-39  52:47.0
  42    Pamela DeBerry         Middleboro       1152    41   F   40-49  52:47.0
  43    Lisa Perry             Middleboro       1334    48   F   40-49  53:00.0
  44    claire entel           Assonet          1161    53   F   50-59  53:20.0
  45    Jenna entel            Assonet          1162    15   F    1-18  53:21.0
  46    Rick Di Salvo          Middleboro       1155    67   M   60-69  53:26.0
  47    Allison Asiaf          Brockton         1632    34   F   19-39  53:35.0
  48    Lindsay Dahlquist      Brockton         1631    30   F   19-39  53:36.0
  49    Meghan McPeck          Brockton         1400    29   F   19-39  53:36.0
  50    susan black            Middleboro       1120    65   F   60-69  53:59.0
  51    edwin black            Middleboro       1121    67   M   60-69  53:59.0
  52    Danielle Trocia        Middleboro       1362    15   F    1-18  54:27.0
  53    Lindsey Tracki         Middleboro       1363    17   F    1-18  54:29.0
  54 Darian Sanders  Middleboro  1262   7  M  1-18 54:33.0
  55    Lindsay Woodwaro       MIddleboro       1312    14   F    1-18  54:33.0
  56    Melissa Klemme         Middleboro       1359    14   F    1-18  54:33.0
  57    Shaina Poh             Middleboro       1360    16   F    1-18  54:34.0
  58    Gabby Boutin           Middleboro       1324    17   F    1-18  54:36.0
  59    Carla Pelton           Middleboro       1311    14   F    1-18  54:37.0
  60    Madison Murray                          1369    16   F    1-18  54:57.0
  61    John Falcas                             1371    27   M   19-39  54:57.0
  62    Riley Keenan           Weymouth         1343    14   F    1-18  55:06.0
  63    Jenna LaMarca          Braintree        1345    13   F    1-18  55:06.0
  64    Carol Medeiros         North Dighton    1354    51   F   50-59  55:08.0
  65    Amy Bergman            Abington         1116    36   F   19-39  55:18.0
  66    Susan LaMarca          Braintree        1208    44   F   40-49  55:18.0
  67    Kathleen Woodward      Hanson           1289    48   F   40-49  55:21.0
  68    Elaine Boersdamm       Middleboro       1125    47   F   40-49  55:21.0
  69    Barbara Davin          Rochester        1348    67   F   60-69  55:22.0
  70    Estelle Amber          Middleboro       1108    64   F   60-69  55:47.0
  71    Susan Curran           East Bridgewater 1145    33   F   19-39  55:47.0
  72    Michele Bolton         Middleborough    1127    53   F   50-59  56:18.0
  73    Thomas Estey           Middleboro       1163    42   M   40-49  56:24.0
  74    Jeanine Knowlton       Middleboro       1205    53   F   50-59  56:27.0
  75    John Knowlton          Middleboro       1204    48   M   40-49  56:27.0
  76    Debbie Curran          Brockton         1146    53   F   50-59  56:29.0
  77    Margaret Estey         Middleboro       1164    68   F   60-69  56:32.0
  78    Victoria Bolton        Middleboro       1128    16   F    1-18  56:42.0
  79    Stephen McKinnon       Middleboro       1233    65   M   60-69  56:55.0
  80    Evelyn Pupek           Middleboro       1310    49   F   40-49  57:00.0
  81    Joshua Newcomb         Middleboro       1364    10   M    1-18  57:00.0
  82    Gabrielle Costa        Middleboro       1141    42   F   40-49  57:00.0
  83    Grace Rogers           Middleboro       1365    15   F    1-18  57:00.0
  84    Liz Porter             Middleboro       1249    50   F   50-59  57:01.0
  85    Rose Teixeira          Carver           1276    66   F   60-69  57:01.0
  86    Paula Smith            Bridgewater      1266    57   F   50-59  57:01.0
  87 Ava-Marie White Middleboro 1285  8  F  1-18 57:11.0
 88 Victoria Turnor Middleboro 1278  45 F 40-49 57:11.0
  89    Sherri Vannes          Middleboro       1280    51   F   50-59  57:11.0
  90    Greg Anderson          Middleboro       1110    43   M   40-49  57:40.0
  91    Jennifer Anderson      Middleboro       1109    41   F   40-49  57:41.0
  92    Allin Frawley          Middleboro       1375    42   M   40-49  57:41.0
  93    Dotty Caron            Middleboro       1342    40   F   40-49  57:41.0
  94    Lisa Cowen             Somerset         1142    49   F   40-49  57:42.0

  95    Jennifer Litterio      East Taunton     1347    40   F   40-49  59:04.0
  96    Rachel Gifford         Raynham          1335    39   F   19-39  59:05.0
  97    Kelly Camara           Fall River       1136    29   F   19-39 1:00:21.0
  98    Joel Ruiz              New Bedford      1261    29   M   19-39 1:00:22.0
  99    Debbie Warwick         Taunton          1282    58   F   50-59 1:00:23.0
 100    Michael Amaral         Fall River       1105    35   M   19-39 1:00:23.0
 101    Raul Botelho           Fairhaven        1129    55   M   50-59 1:00:26.0
 102    Tiffany Chaves         Fall River       1138    24   F   19-39 1:00:27.0
 103    Katelyn Warwick        Raynham          1283    25   F   19-39 1:00:27.0
 104    Erin Early                              1316    15   F    1-18 1:00:53.0
 105    Abigail Ethier         MIddleboro       1322    16   F    1-18 1:00:53.0
 106    Cayla Smith            Middleboro       1372    16   F    1-18 1:00:53.0
 107    Mary Mariano           Bridgewater      1227    59   F   50-59 1:03:09.0
 108    Joseph Mariano         Bridgewater      1228    81   M   70-99 1:03:09.0
 109    Carol Pearl            Middleboro       1248    75   F   70-99 1:03:34.0
 110    Sandy Mulligan         Middleboro       1314    52   F   50-59 1:03:35.0
 111    Joshua Robinson        Middleboro       1259    14   M    1-18 1:05:22.0
 112    Kathleen Robinson      Middleboro       1256    49   F   40-49 1:05:47.0

 113    Barry Robinson         Middleboro       1257    44   M   40-49 1:05:47.0
 114    Karalyn Robinson       Middleboro       1258    16   F    1-18 1:05:48.0

Darian is uber-competitive, and he was pissed. Medals were awarded to the top three finishers in each age group. He didn't get a medal. But please look at that list again. The grouping he was in was 1 - 18. Good Lord, the difference between a kid 7-years-old, like Darian (THE youngest entrant in the race) and, say, a 17-year-old, is gigantic. I think it would truly be more fair if there was a 1 - 10 year old division. Darian (THE youngest entrant in the race; did I already point that out?) would have finished third and gotten his medal. Heck, if they had that division (and if he hadn't stopped and waited for his relatives, like the extremely sweet kid he is) he might have pushed it and finished first. I was damn proud of him, and tried to explain to him how well he did, but it took a while before he wasn't sad. I expect he'll be in the race again next year and I wouldn't bet against him smoking the field.

(By the way, I'm also proud of Ava and Victoria. This was the first time Ava has ever walked this distance. And Victoria, based on her time from last year's race, probably would have won her division if she wasn't such a swell Mom/Grandmom.)

That wraps up the major parts of our extremely enjoyable weekend. If you enjoyed reading about it half as much as we enjoyed living it, then we're twice as happy as you, so I apologize.

Soon, with more better stuff.