This is my front yard.
What you see foremost is Mount Nickencarl (so named because the bulk of it was put there by our most excellent upstairs neighbors, Nick and Carl, God bless their 20-something selves and May Their Tribes Increase. They've done about 75% of whatever shoveling has needed to be done, much to the relief of my off-season out-of-shape ass.)
For purposes of a height comparison, I asked MY WIFE to stand as near as she could. MY WIFE is 5'1", so Mount Nickencarl has to be at least... well, I'll leave the estimates up to you.
(MY WIFE usually looks much happier. It was quite cold.)
Now, I don't want to brag, but I do believe we have the largest snow mound in the neighborhood. I haven't measured any of the others, but none of my neighbors has a Sherpa camped out in front of their house.
OK, I know you find that hard to swallow, and I'd probably say you were full of sherpa if you told me that, but I have proof. I have a photo of him.
Well, it's not really a photo. Sherpas are amazingly shy. However, I have utilized my artistic abilities and drawn this very realistic representation.
I've worked out a deal with him. For every five brave souls he guides to the top, I get a free yakburger. This winter, as hideous as it is, is not without its compensations. Soon, with more better stuff.
61 comments:
I am so happy I had put down the hot tea because I surely would have spilled it laughing ..YOUR WIFE looks more angry than cold .. in fact her eyes look like they might pop out and roll down the Mount and knock over the Sherpa .. and is Yak considered red meat? If not, I'll take the box lunch ..
You can add artist to your many talents. :)
I am coming to Boston in February. Am I crazy?
Damn!!! That looks like what we usually have. Instead, we have maybe 3-4 inches on the ground up here in the frozen north.
On behalf of my fellow Montrealers I wish to thank the US for taking on the task of dealing with the snow this year.
OK, you're right. Actually I'm sniggering because it's like we're getting the winter off this year. Lets face it, better you than me.
- Jazz
your writing is most intriguing. i come here for a good dry laugh, or just an interesting read.
i like it.
keepitup =)
Hrmpf (is the sound I make when I start laughing) about your poor wife and the happy camper in front of your mountain. Not the sharpest sherpa in the whole wide world though. He does all the work and you get the burger?
We're holding the International Speed Skating Championships on the pond in our garden tomorrow. Beat that!
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Oh,great post .I really like it ^^!
If there's much more snow back there you'll be able to host a downhill event.
Yakburger! delicious and carb free.
Lucky Suldog
cheers, Sausage...
Time to build a snow fort!!! No? Poo.
Jim you must have all of Colorado's share of snow there, right in your front yard. We're having a rather mild winter (don't hit me, please) but clearly that's not the case where you are.
So I'm catching up on your blog a bit. Let's see what else you've been up to.
Have you been making sacrifices to the weather gods again, Jim? I told you no good could come of your dancing around naked.
Or I meant to. Too late it seems.
OK, I take back all my claims of ever having lived with major snow. . .
That's incredible, Jim. Almost like they get up in the Keweenaw Peninsula, where many of the houses have second-floor emergency exits.
And I'm not certain, but I believe yak is part of the beef-ular family of meats. . .
I'd go with the Yakburger Deluxe. It comes with three slices of 100% pure goat-bacon.
Wow...from that shot of your wife in the snow...I swear we could be twins...
All I can remember about that stuff is some advice I heard - "Don't eat yellow snow."
Ha! I laughed when I saw the first pic. And I laughed even harder when I saw the pic of your "wife."
And I'm afraid to ask: what on earth are you doing with a power puff girl?
I probably DON'T wanna know.
I hope you don't think I'm rude for asking but....Has your wife had plastic surgery?
Ever considered igloos out of that mound of snow? At least provide the sherpa with a room. You could even charge rent. One piece of yak jerky every week.
Well, the picture of your snow puts my complaining post about snow to shame.
Loved the clever pose of YOUR WIFE, haha. I look like that myself whenever there is significant snow.
I'd like to see Nick & Carl's muscles. Snow is the winter steroids for bulking up.
I laughed at your post...but I am NOT laughing at your situation, because:
There are skiiers lined up in my front yard right now, waiting their turn on OUR mountain!!!
Sincerely,
SDO (Still Digging Out)
Daryl - Yak is, surprisingly enough, brown meat. I was surprised to find this out, but the Sherpa assures me it's so.
Joan - Yes. And coming to Boston in February is weird, too.
Jazz - On behalf of all Americans, you're welcome. It's the least we could do.
Sweet Pea - Thank you. I don't know how dry my humor is, what with all this snow, but I accept the compliment as intended.
Carolina - The Sherpa is making 700 rupees a trip (800 when someone buys the lunch.) I don't know what the going price is for yakburgers, but I suspect he still has a good deal.
Meena - I am not publishing any books unless they are at least B or C books. No E books for me!
Scireg - Thank you. I like your picture.
Uncle Skip - The problem is at the end of the run the skiers would come crashing through our bedroom window. Maybe if they came crashing through with more yakburgers, that would be a good thing.
Sausage Fingers - Yak sausage would be good, too.
Shimp - How do you know I've been dancing around naked? Have you been outside my window with the binoculars again? Shame!
Craig - Keeweenaw? Is that a place where they don't like flightless birds?
(I'm really grasping at straws here. Sorry.)
Chris - Goat Bacon... *drool*
France Rants - Twins, you say? If MY WIFE ever leaves me, will you marry me?
IT - It's only yellow where the yaks are before they get made into burgers.
Quirky - Whuh? Powerpuff Girl? I don't know what you're talking about. Are you implying that MY WIFE is somehow cartoonish? I think I'm highly insulted, and I'll be over post haste to kick your ass after I eat the yakburgers.
Anonymous - tyvm
Uncle Jello - More insults about MY WIFE! I'll be over to kick your ass after I'm finished with Quirky.
Michelle - The Sherpa prefers to sleep in the garage with the yaks. The yaks don't seem to prefer it, but they'll shut up after I eat them.
Red Hamster - Yes, I think the snow makes MY WIFE particularly attractive, despite her unhappiness about being waist deep in it. In case I forget, remind me to kick Quirky and Uncle Jello's asses.
Clare - So long as they don't come crashing through your bedroom window at the end of their runs, it's all good. Especially if it includes yakburgers.
Ummmm correct me if I am wrong but MY WIFE looks bewildered..... could it be taken just as the Sherpa arrived?
Craig - Keeweenaw? Is that a place where they don't like flightless birds?
The answer is YES. Emphatically. They're also not fond of Eagles, Wolverines, or Spartans.
Is your Sherpa documented? Did you personally verify his eligibility to work in these United States? And why couldn't you find a decent, hard-working AMERICAN to serve as your mountaineer? I hear there are lots of 'em in W-By-God!-VA.
We don't have to go far to find yaks, but all I can find on the menu are burritos, panninis and quesadillas, no burgers.
From what I gather Keweenaw is the UP of the UP... and I think Yoopers are fine folk.
Haha! Oooh, I've got to stop complaining about the foot of snow we have on the ground!
I am certain that I am late to the party, but I now realize that your sign off reminds me of the Snapple commercials.
Clearly there is a more familial relationship between us than we knew, as I am a MUCH LARGER version of Buttercup, so must be a distant cousin or something, at least of YOUR WIFE. Luckily it doesn't snow here, but that doesn't prevent me from being slightly envious of your Sherpa. Stay warm up there!
We get very little snow deep in the heart of Louisiana, but once when we did, the neighborhood kids got a bright idea. The took a wheelbarrow and shovels, and got snow from the yards of anyone who would allow it.
They didn't quite make the pile you have there, but it was enough for a snowball fight and a few snow men, which entertained them mightily.
That reminds me of the Blizzard of 78....at least the aftermath of it.
Back when 20 something was on my birth certificate.
Can't wait to see what's next.
It'll probably be a drowning I would suppose since the wife is 5 1and you have stacks of snow...
:)
Too funny. I laughed out loud at the image of YOUR FAUX WIFE. We haven't had a snow pile like that in a long time. I'm not complaining.
You are so funny - love the drawing and the photo of your "WIFE". So does this beat the snow of '79?
nice entry :)Blog Bebas
Nick and Carl well deserve to have a mountain named after them. Come summer, your neighborhood needs to honor them with a block party!
Wow - it puts our three feet of snow in perspective!
James
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www.creditwindow.co.uk
I have completely locked up my yearly mantra of let it snow - not to come out of my mouth, not to be thought until November. And we have only had a few flurries and once quick layer of ice. But oh my! What a mound of snow! Impressive!!!!
I believe it was the winter of 1994 when we had snow here every freaking day from January 2nd on through to almost the end of March -including at least one big blizzard too -and our snow accumulation in this region was over 112 inches that winter! Thankfully, it came in spits and fits and only few times was it really heavy snowfall with mega accumulations then. The plowed snow often resembled -somewhat -the pile-up in front of your house. Right now, as I write this, the snow is falling and has been doing so since my system tried (but failed) to wake up around 9 a.m. I have no idea if it started earlier than that -or when -but it is now roughly 2 inches in depth on the sidewalk -our accumulation measuring gauge. Hope it doesn't deposit too much though because Mandy's friend, Ken, had his ATV here Wednesday night plowing our parking area and somehow, the steering mechanism got damaged when he was loading the ATV back on to his pickup truck and won't be running again this winter now! Boo Hiss, for sure as with another snowstorm heading this way I think on Tuesday of next week, sure don't like the idea of shoveling all that white crap out because my back definitely will not hold up well, at all, under that kind of labor! Pray for sunshine and warmth!
Your artistic abilities are impressive. I hope we will see your artist's rendering of the great flood of '11 when that larger in person sun turns Mt. Nickencarl into Lake Nickencarl!
Nice Blog... Funny your front year looks like my backyard...
http://shadeswithinyoullc.blogspot.com/
Yodellooodeee! Climb every mountain! Except-where's the ski-lift?
If you ever decide to give up the writing life, well, you're screwed, because you aren't going to make it as a realistic artist. Maybe abstract? I loved your post, and appreciate someone who can laugh when the going gets.....well, freaking impossible!
And yeah, where is the ski lift? We have nadda here, and I wanna snow board.......
Thatsalottasnow! :))
I enjoyed enlarging your drawing and smiled at your humor. Always good to be here, Jim.
Smiles,
Jackie
It was 104 degrees in Melbourne today. That snow mountain wouldn't have lasted long :)
thats a lot of snow!
http://onewiththemachine.blogspot.com
OMG - amazing. I am assuming you don't live in Texas. David
http://britsintheus23.blogspot.com/
Hysterically funny as is often the case here.
Given that, you may be amazed to learn that you have been awarded the Sylish Blogger Award (ducking quickly). If you are so inclined to accept the award, you can pick it up here.
I love your style!
Peace, Judi
Just noticed that on January 18th, your blog was included in the Blogger team chosen Blogs of Note.
Congrats to you!!!
Bahahaha I love it!
My weekend was the polar opposite of yours, 40 degrees celcius (104 farenheit) at a music festival called Big Day Out.....
I'd much rather have been sculting mammoth mountains from snow!
That... I wouldn't even dare to think about trying to climb to the top of such a mountain. Such a trek would be fatal
You crack me up! If you would like some more snow to make it even bigger I would gladly share some of our abundance of white stuff...we surely can spare some since it is snowing as I type...my little's can hardly walk in our back yard since it is so deep so maybe I should send them to your house as they would surely love this big hill. :)
Snow mountain is so big! But it is so usual for Russia.
good one
if nick and carl get tired maybe the sherpa can take a turn shoveling after the next snow.
i don't have a snow sherpa but i have one for mt. laundry. scaling that requires bottled oxygen for several reasons...
@suldog
I do believe I've bitten off more than I can chew here. Please except my sincerest apologies as I run away with my tail between legs. But, please, know that by my implying your wife having had plastic surgery, I only meant that she is so flawless that my puny little brain cannot conceive it. So, in my stupidity, I blurted out the first reasonable explanation that came to mind. I'm am terribly sorry that I insulted your beautiful wife, she really is something to behold.
:-) Thank you, you are too kind...Does she have a sister?
She does - two, as a matter of fact.
I know that sounds like a Powerpuff Girls joke, but it's the truth. Both are currently spoken for, though. Sorry!
Hahahaha! My girlfriend probably doesn't want to share anyway, all though, i've always had a small crush on the Powerpuff girls...
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