If You Need A Reason To Be Thankful This Christmas, Here's One...

I enjoy Christmas. The music, the lights, the giving and the receiving of gifts, the visiting of relatives, the good food, the religious aspects... All of these things bring me pleasure during the month of December (and even into a bit of January, what with Epiphany and all.)

Some folks, however, have a hard time getting their jolly on. I couldn't possibly list all of the reasons for humbuggery, but I can certainly understand some of them. If I were an atheist, for example, or maybe a follower of a different religion, I'd be hard-pressed to find happiness in a celebration of someone's birth whom I considered either fictional or highly overrated. On the other end of the spectrum, extremely holy rollers get their sacred underwear in a twist concerning the secularization of the season. Me? I think it's all more-or-less swell. I'm a Christian - and proud to say so - but I dig the traditional Santa Claus stuff, too. Live and let live, as they preach at some 12 Steps Of Christmas programs. As long as nobody is harshing my buzz, I see no reason to harsh theirs. And, in that spirit and in order to actually increase their enjoyment, I offer the following.

The other day, at work, I came across something that I'm positive will put into perspective any misery you think you're experiencing. You may already know that I do voice-overs and commercial production for a living. And, if you didn't know it before, now you do. One of the jobs I'm often called upon to perform is the editing of recordings by other talents (which is what we voice-over folk call each other, whether we really possess any or not.) The script this talent voiced was for a company that supplies sanitary facilities for job sites, concert venues, and other places without permanent plumbing fixtures.

In other words, they supply port-a-potties.

Obviously, any such script is bound to be rife with opportunities for cheap laughs, but I won't be going for any here because there was one paragraph in the script that made me realize life is pretty darn good for just about all of us. I don't want to detract from that message by offering up scatological humor. Perhaps some other time.

Meanwhile, here's the paragraph in question:

Restroom trailers are the way to give your most important guests a "just like home" bathroom experience. These trailers come with heat and air conditioning, sinks, lighted vanities, flushing toilets, and porcelain fixtures. We have trailers as small as 2 stalls and 10 feet long, for small private events, to units with 10 stalls and 28 feet long, for larger gatherings. We can also provide restroom attendants to ensure the complete satisfaction of your guests.

So, think you're having a tough time of it this holiday season? Wipe that scowl off your face, Ebenezer. No matter how bad things may seem, at least you aren't a freakin' restroom attendant in a port-a-potty.

(Unless, of course, you are. If so, then feel free to bitch, and God bless you.)

Soon, with more better stuff.