Monday, March 08, 2010

Private Places

When you consider some of the things I’ve made public in this space, the following statement may appear insane, but I assure you it’s a fact. I am a very private person. My need for privacy is higher than most. As a matter of fact, if I go too long without being alone, I tend to become irritable and grouchy. My alone time is when I decompress, so to speak, and if you intrude upon me then – no matter how well-intentioned your intrusion – you’ll likely find me non-communicative and less pleasant company than you might have expected.

I was an only child. I became used to being alone early in life, and subsequently grew to like the experience. I developed a taste for solitary pursuits: reading, writing, listening to music, doing puzzles and figuring statistics. Anything that interrupted such activities – the telephone ringing; someone coming to the front door and knocking; a neighbor’s dog barking loudly; some idiot being too lazy to get out of his car to alert someone to his presence, but rather sitting in the street and honking his horn – became anathema to me. In today’s world, whenever I hear some boob driving down the street with the bass cranked, my initial reaction is to shoot the son of a bitch. The point is that I’m acutely aware of invasions of my personal space, of whatever stripe.

One reason for MY WIFE and I getting along so famously is because she is aware of my need and she endeavors to give me the time and space that I require. For instance, we sleep in separate bedrooms. Now, this probably has as much to do with her need to get away from my snoring as it does anything else, but it works. When we want to get together, we get together, but if I wish to read a book before sleeping, I don’t have to worry that the light I keep on will disturb her. Likewise, if she wants to watch TV, it won’t rattle my cage. I think the sort of arrangement we have is an excellent preserver of happy marriage. Your mileage may vary, but, in general, if two people share a room, one of them is getting a better night of sleep than the other. If you wake up rested and refreshed every morning, that could be why your significant other is becoming less significant and more other.

Be that as it may – and, if you can afford more than one room, it is - I have spent much of my adult life searching for private places equivalent to those I had as a child. For the most part, the search has been unsuccessful.

One of the advantages of being a kid is that you’re small enough to fit into places that adults don’t tend to inhabit. Getting away from adults, no matter how loving they may be, is an important consideration. This is because adults (with the exception of most uncles and some select aunts) are buzzkills. They insist that such things as homework, cleaning your room, and not eating cookies, are important. In order to avoid such obvious lunatics, you need to duck under a table every so often. While there, you can read the stuff written on the underside. Usually, the manufacturer has left some sort of imprint, and there may be a few pencil marks or such drawn by whoever put the table together. If you chew gum, you might find an old piece worth resurrecting. If you manage to stay hidden until dinnertime, you might pretend you're the dog and beg for scraps (which doesn't work so well if all your family has is a cat.)

Another place a kid can go is under a bed. Adults don’t usually go under a bed unless another adult they don’t wish to be shot by comes into the room. I haven’t been under a bed in ages – I’m sure MY WIFE is glad to hear that – but I might go under our dining room table soon, just to see what it would be like as a grown up (if you can call me that). As a matter of fact, I’m going to do it now. Hold on; I’ll be right back.

OK, I’m back. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but it certainly didn’t afford the same sense of security it might have when I was two feet shorter and 100 pounds lighter. And, while it was relatively easy getting under there, it was one hell of a lot harder getting back out than it used to be. I’m happy to report there were no spiders under there. No chewing gum, either, but I did find a french fry of indeterminate age, so it's a good thing I made the exploration.

One thing you definitely need privacy for, as a kid, is hide and seek. For hide and seek in my neighborhood, I always used the same hiding place. There was a big lilac bush in a neighbor’s yard on Monson Street. This bush was, for some odd reason, mostly hollowed out inside. It was a great hiding place, and only a really small kid could get into it without totally destroying the bush. I had to slide myself through a small opening in the back. I don’t know how I first discovered that I could enter that bush, but once I had myself secreted in there, nobody ever found me. And I didn’t care if I was never found. It was a cool place on a summer’s day, there were always interesting beetles and such sharing the space with you and which didn't seem to mind if you picked them up to say hello, and – the best part of all – you got to smell the lilacs. To this day, I think my unnatural fondness for Lilac Vegetal after shave lotion stems from playing hide and seek in Dorchester.

Closets were always a good place to go if you wanted a little peace and quiet. Of course, the deeper the closet, the better. It also helps if the closet is right next to a heating duct, which the one in my childhood living room was. It was like my own private sauna. I’d go in, sit on the floor, enjoy the smell of the various coats, boots, rubbers, and hats, and doze as contentedly as a cat on top of a TV set (which is, unlike crawling under the dining room table, something I won’t try now, although I might have done so had I thought of it when I was six.)

Of course, as people grow older, the reasons for wanting privacy tend to change. Teenage boys – and, I suspect, teenage girls, but they'll deny it – tend to spend a bit more time in the bathroom than they previously might have, and not because they’ve suddenly decided to brush their teeth more often. The unwritten rule, in most homes, is that the bathroom is the one place nobody will just walk in on you, unless you’re a dummy and you don’t close the door tight and lock it. If you don’t, you get the embarrassment you deserve for being so inattentive to detail.

Aside from the sorts of activities you no doubt imagined already, the bathroom was where I would go to sneak a cigarette. Some of the most contented moments of my entire life were spent sitting on the edge of our bathtub at 3am, my head halfway out the open window, listening to the crickets as I polluted my lungs. And some of the most hideously tense moments of my entire life were spent trying to close that window noiselessly when one of my parents came out of their bedroom at 3:05 to take a pee and then knocked on the bathroom door. I’m sure that, more often than not, they knew what was going on, but I feigned sleepy innocence as I walked back to my bedroom with a pack of Marlboros uncomfortably stuffed in my shorts.

Of course, as you mature – or try to pass as so, in my case – you find out that adults wish to limit your privacy more and more severely the older you get. For some kids, the first lesson in how shockingly they wish to curtail it is gym class. At a time when your body is doing all sorts of weird things, some of which you’re proud of and others not so much, they throw you and your classmates into a shower together, naked.

I was one of the lucky ones. Even though I was the youngest in my class, I had started to… let’s say, ‘sprout’… quite early, and by the time we hit the showers, I had no reason to be ashamed. Still, it was quite a shock to see some of the guys walking around naked. I certainly didn’t want to stare, but the salamis a few of them were carting around made my hot dog seem inadequate for any buns by comparison. But then I looked around and saw the poor souls who still only had hairless cocktail franks and I felt better about myself - and truly sorry for them. And I marveled at the thought that any adults thought this would be a good thing for kids to go through. I have no idea what it’s like in a girl’s locker room (although, in the spirit of full disclosure, I’ll admit to having fantasized about it quite often, and if any of you ladies would like to fill me in on the details, I’ll consider myself in your debt.)

I’m sure I had a point to this when I started, but I’ll be damned if I can think of it now.

Soon, with more better stuff.

[Got the lilac bush from Gardening Resources For Attorneys. I'm sure there's a good joke to be made concerning this, but it's a website for lawyers. I won't take any further chances than I already have by stealing the photo.]


Shrinky said...

I have a confession to make - I LOVE sleeping alone, the weeks hubby is away I can switch the light on til 3am to read, leave as many crumbs between the sheets as I darn well please, have ALL the duvet to myself, and no one wakes me with his 4am call to the bathroom.

There is a lot to be said for solitude, I crave it in a house filled with four teenagers. I never understand those folk who hate being alone, especially if it involves them parking themselves on me!

Hope the french fry tasted good, might be just as well you didn't find any chewing gum under there.. smile.

Cricket said...

I sometimes get the feeling that we were once identical twins who, due to some clerical error during reincarnation, were separated by 10 years.

Or I would if I believed that sort of thing.

word veri: coven. Oh, my.

Michelle H. said...

Solitude is a strange thing. Being a single adult, there are times I wish to hear someone else in the room while other times I'm glad I can stretch out completely in the bed and hog all the covers.

When growing up in the country with two older siblings out in a solitary valley, there were numerous places to find a hiding spot for privacy as a kid: in the crawlspace under the house (if you wanted to spend time with the snakes), an old chicken coop, an antique 40's car I would sit in and imagine driving from the cops after robbing the bank while they shot their Tommy guns, and the train room in one side of the attic. I suppose everywhere on the farm was a sort of hiding place. It didn't take much effort to be alone, even when you didn't want to be.

As for a girl's locker room, it all depended on the school/grade. In middle school, there was only one large room to change in and one small bathroom with three stalls and TWO showers. Not much privacy to that. High school was a bit different...

word verification: poker - I'm up for a game. But leave the french fry at home.

Ragtop Day said...

I am totally with you on the need for solitude - I need it more than the average bear myself, and don't get nearly enough with 2 young children in the house.

To quote Mr. Rogers: "Boys are fancy on the outside. Girls are fancy on the inside." I don't remember any locker room comparisons in my youth. We all were quite intent on making sure no one saw anything, and there were curtained off areas most of us took advantage of. The "big thing" with girls is visible through clothes too, so there's not much extra to be seen in the locker room.

Unspoken said...

I love to be alone and also spent the last part of my childhood as an only child. So I have always blamed the solitude thing on that.

As for the locker room... You lost me ;). Point was?

Matt Conlon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt Conlon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt Conlon said...

(Had a computer hiccup, sorry for duplicate post)

I think the difference between a introvert and an extrovert is not that introverts are by definition anti-social, but that they REQUIRE some anti-social time, whereas extroverts avoid it.

I am very much introverted by that definition, even though I like to share, and I like the "game" of social interaction.

I grew up in a very strange (by all 3rd-party accounts, that is) household. I had 3 brothers, and both parents. We'd see one another at the dinner table, and then we'd go our separate ways, and hide out in our rooms.

It wasn't until after I'd dated she-who-would-later-become-my-wife for a while, that I'd realized it was an unusual way of living.

There was a certain degree of depression going on with everyone in the house and this lifestyle most definitely cultivated it.

Once I moved out, I found my spirit brighting, revealing just how depressing household environment was. However, it wasn't the solitude that created the depression, it was a host of assorted other things. I found myself craving just a few hours to myself a week, at minimum.

My wife's family is very social, and love to be around one another, and don't get me wrong, I love them all very much and enjoy their company as well. However, every few hours of social interaction requires some alone time afterwards.

I was once at a family reunion at my brother's house. The family he married into is very social.

I'd managed to find a room that wasn't being used, and slipped quietly in. It was the formal living room, so there were couches where I could laze.

Moments later my brother came slinking in, half looking behind him to see if he was being monitored. He wasn't, and he drew a sigh of relief. He turned as he walked into the room and saw me sitting there.

He looked at me, I looked at him, and we both decided that one another's company didn't exactly count, since we were both looking for the same thing. It was a strange sort of shared solitude. To this day, there's maybe a handful of people whose company doesn't intrude on my solitude.

Also interesting, although I'm technically interacting with you guys right now, I consider this a solitary time.

End comment hijacking.

Linda said...

I was the oldest of five, and I like to be alone most of the time. It's a personality trait that runs in my family- of course, as the mother of the five of us, my mom always wanted some alone time! But she had a big adjustment when my father retired, because he's a social animal.

My younger son recently made the same comment you did- he needs the alone time to decompress. For us, socialization is hard work. For my husband, it's enjoyable.

Funny how our relationships have still managed to last, let's see, 57 years, 33 years, and for my son- it's only been 5 months, but it's looking good.

Is YOUR WIFE a social animal?

Anonymous said...

Hmm. I'm an only child too! And I can totally relate to the alone time syndrome.

Being alone? Doesn't bother me a bit.

Speaking of bits, why am I suddenly craving french fries? hee hee

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip said...

Yup! I can relate to the alone time. As a kid, I climb "my tree." Nobody ever found me there, but I could see and hear everything I needed to.
I still have that tree somewhere in the space between my ears. I only need a few moments there. That,,, and this computer is in a room at the back of the house, while MY WIFE is in the front of the house on a laptop. We email, though I suppose we could chat on Facebook.

V word - yammet

Sniffles and Smiles said...

I think that artistic people generally do need recharge time, Jim! So your post really resonated with me today!!! I am amazed by your never ending ability to address and write about such interesting things...and you never fail to really make me consider life in new ways! Hope you are recharged and ready for the week! Hugs, Janine

Brian Miller said...

i think there is importance to measured aloneness, almost as important as time in togetherness. i do like hide and seek though. played it just last night, and i was under the bed (my sons) hiding.

Daryl said...

I am married to an only child. We share a bed and we both sleep well, wake refreshed. BUT I work outside the house,in an office, all day while he works at home .. he also tends to sleep in and stay up later than I do. But I think its working ok, we'll be married 32 yrs this July.

Word Verf.: Potin .. an abbrev. way of saying Pardon OR for your weedheads .. pot in .. cough out...

Sueann said...

Shower time was just as traumatic for girls too! Especially if you had no breasts yet. Lots of giggling and staring. And as far as the nether regions. Well....if no bush...seemed too weird! Lots of young women still looked like young girls! Quite embarrassing for some. Luckily, I was "okay"! LOL!
I think showering together in a group like situation should be banned. It serves no purpose other than to humiliate! JMO!!

Jazz said...

I love my alone time too. But I'm sure if I posted about it, life in the shower wouldn't be part of the post. You, however pull it off really well.

Craig said...

Myers-Briggs talks about introvert/extrovert in terms of whether you are energized by social contact, or worn out by it. I am most definitely an introvert, by that standard. I can do the 'social stuff' just fine and enjoy it a lot, but after a certain point, I just need to be alone for a while, and 'recharge'.

Which is a bit odd, or sad, maybe, considering that I grew up as one of seven kids, and have eight of my own. Altho, full disclosure - I was one of two until I was ten, and Dad remarried, to a woman who brought three kids to the new 'blended family', so we went from two kids to five literally overnight. And then two more came along in fairly short order. So I spent a good portion of my teenage years in a frantic search for some quiet solitude. And God seems to be dragging me out of myself, anyway.

Especially considering my wife's family, which is as noisy and boistrous as mine was reserved (the seven-kid thing notwithstanding). Whenever I spend a day with my in-laws, I just need to hole-up for the next day. . .

As to the sleeping arrangements, I've been a little surprised to learn quite how many married couples sleep separately. Different strokes, and all that. In our 29+ years together, my wife and I have come to treat each other as something like 'live teddy bears' - something warm and soft (and maybe even furry) to snuggle with in bed. Anymore, I sleep worse when I'm alone. . .

Suldog said...

Thank you, folks, for your very thoughtful comments.

I find it surprising - although, when I now think about, I probably shouldn't - that so many of you seem to feel similarly to the thoughts I've expressed. I guess this medium of expression - blogging - may have a distinct appeal to those who long to be both public AND private. We are not quite shallow enough to settle for dashed off tweets, and we're not quite insane enough to go out on the streets and say this stuff to people face-to-face. Instead, we invite others to share with us, as they wish, with the proviso that we will respond when we're good and ready.

Again, thanks for the commentary. All read, all enjoyed.

Unknown said...

I learned to love solitude when I was divorced at 35 and my kids would spend the weekends at their dad's. At first I was lonely, but then I looked forward to a couple of days by myself, to do whatever I wished. I still like solitude, but it's a little harder less frequent now. I have convinced my husband to do the grocery shopping and I lavish in those couple of hours when I'm all by myself. I love the quiet!

Buck said...

I'm reclusive in my dotage, by definition... which is to say I'm alone nearly ALL the time... by choice. My POV is I had as much socializing and face-to-face interaction with my fellow human beans in the workplace and other areas that one could ever want or need. I'm quite fortunate that my family accepts my quirky ways; they largely leave me alone and I am SO grateful.

That said... one of the hardest parts of making the transition from married to single was sleeping alone after sleeping with the same person for over 23 years. I still find myself reaching for her occasionally... and it's been ten years.

Land of shimp said...

I'm with you, Suldog. I get a little weird(er) when I don't have adequate time alone. I have a half brother, but he was raised with my mom, and I was raised with my dad so for all intents and purposes, I grew up as an only child. Oddly enough, several of the only-children I know are some of the most social beings on the face of the Earth. I guess it can go either way, you either get to really like being alone, or feel lonely.

I'm also with you on having the luxury of sleeping separately, although my husband and I don't do that on a regular basis. That poor man has terrible trouble sleeping, and has for most of his life. So it's a great boon to his existence that we have extra bedrooms, and every couple of weeks or so, he avails himself of the opportunity to get some decent rest. I'd actually be fine with his doing that more frequently, but he's the cuddle bug in the family.

Another strange thing? He's from a family with seven children, and grew to love alone time because it was an incredible rarity for him. He ended up marrying the right person in that I'm pleased as punch for each of us to have significant daily time to do our own thing.

Just hanging that out there because it is a trait that doesn't seem to be exclusive to only children.

I always thought of it as being healthier than constantly needing company, but in the age of instant media, there is seemingly nothing more damning than someone deemed, "a bit of a loner, he kept to himself". Like all loners will morph into the unibomber at some point or another.

I try to keep my hoodie buying to a minimum, just in case, because I've definitely got the loner gene.

The thing is, I don't think it's a a rare trait, at all. I think that admitting to it has started to carry a stigma...thanks to the helpful neighbor, "He kept to himself" reports in the wake of some senseless tragedy.

But most people really seem to love nothing more than being able to hang out by themselves on a regular basis.

The one thing I've noticed is that even the biggest loners among us tend to hesitate to do things like go to the movies by themselves, or out to eat. It isn't being a fan of alone time that seems to trip people out, but being comfortable with being viewed as such in public often makes people uncomfortable.

Chris said...

Sorry, Jim, I'm having a tough time reconciling the phrase "I'm a private person" with "And here's a picture of me with a giant pink dildo."

Seriously, though, sounds like you and YOUR WIFE have a mutually-satisfying arrangement which is all anyone can ask for.

Eddie Bluelights said...

Yes Jim, I also like to be aloneon ocassions. I find it charges the batteries up. I do like when rare ocassions dictate to sleep alone as well - sometimes! However my wife will tell you that even though I might be asleep in another room the noise of my snoring us heard all over the house. If I am in the same bed she can thump me! to silence me!!

CiCi said...

Your post generated some great comments and disclosures. This is one of the few blogs that I do read the comments, always interesting. Your description of your need for your alone time sounds healthy to me. If you said you couldn't be alone for long and if you needed your wife right next to you in order to get a good night's sleep, then you would raise some concern. But I think most of us enjoy our own company and we have our own taste in music and books and down time. Just because we are married doesn't mean we are joined at the hip and it is a joyful "reunion" after a morning doing our own thing to meet for lunch in the kitchen and tell each other how our mornings went, even though we were in the same house! I enjoy your candor about topics that we all deal with in our lives.

Suldog said...

More good observations, all around. I think Land Of Shimp hits on something interesting, in that it's not just an only child thing. I approached it from my perspective, of course, but being from a large family could also make you crave privacy, perhaps even more so. And the opposite, being an only child who craves to escape loneliness, is also an interesting thought.

Maggie May said...

I must admit that I am a bit like you. I need to be alone for a chunk of the time but I would hate to have it enforced on me. I like to have the choice.
I recently heard a talk by a psychologist who said the only way for a modern marriage to really work is for the woman to have her own quarters. Well I guess a bedroom is much the same. What a sensible idea.

Great post.

Nuts in May

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip said...

Upon further review -
it dawned on me a little while ago that I learned how to climb my tree in a room full of people when I was in the service, living in a room with 40 other guys... forget about privacy in the shower.

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

Good fences make good neighbors. The medieval folks with their moats and high walls had a pretty good plan, too. They just needed to bathe (or shower) a little oftener. Oh, wait, maybe it was that group showering thing that stopped them.
Anyway, Jim, I understand where you're coming from. Except for that sleeping in separate rooms thing. Even if she does like the bed a whole lot warmer [read: more blankets], I can adjust to that.

Ananda girl said...

Well, I must say... I shall never look at a cocktail frank the same way and certainly not without laughing out loud.

As a kid we had a big oak round table with great lion's legs and feet coming off the center pillar. I loved to crawl under the table cloth and sit there between the great paws, with my feet splayed and only my red ball jets sticking out into view. Sometimes, a plate of cookies would magically appear between my feet, but no words were exchanged. It was a wonderful place. said...

One thing I learned early on was that there are two kinds of salamis...there's growers and there's showers. A "shower" is always out there and rarely gets any larger, whereas the "growers" can also be called a "surpriser"! I was, unfortunately, in the later group.

Even though you knew what it was capable of, you still always wanted to shout "SHRINKAGE" when in a group situation!

Nowadays, I've graduated into another group...the "hiders"! However, he can still poke his head out on Groundhog's Day!

I also learned long ago that if I was to reach the "hider" age, I'd better move to my own room or get killed for snoring!

lime said...

oh man, i was reading this and identifying with certain parts of it as i do need a certain amount of solitude for my own sanity. (as a teen i liked to hid on the porch roof outside my bedroom window. then i got to the last couple of paragraphs regarding boys' locker rooms and began howling...then when my kids asked why i REALLY wished i had a bit of solitude to finish reading. (girls' locker rooms...brutal place...just brutal. girls are horrid to each other at that age.)

Angela Christensen said...

All these interesting thoughts about solitude, and the shared mystery of our childhoods and's really good stuff, Soldog, Michelle...all of you. But I got stuck on the lilacs and because I live in Gardening Zone 9B - where we cannot grow lilacs - I was not able to focus appropriately (or inappropriately, as case may be in this post) on anything until I found out whether this amazing plant was growing in your front yard. Imagine my sadness, upon the realization that not only did it NOT live in your yard, it actually belonged to a LAWYER somewhere. *sigh*
I still love you guys, though, and boy, did I miss you this past week.
Love, love.

Hilary said...

I'd never thought about the aspect of an only child needing solitude. Frank is from a large family and craves his alone time.. preferably spent fishing. We live an hour+ apart and are only together on weekends for the most part so we each get plenty of quiet time. Your memories of hiding under tables and beds, and inside closets (and a pantry) were so nostalgic for me. Childhood was such a magical time.

Jeni said...

I guess I have led a very confused life. I was and obviously at my age today (65) still am an only child. However, growing up the thing I wanted the absolute most in life was a brother or sister! I gravitated as a child to my neighbors homes where their children my age were surrounded by siblings. My next-door neighbor was one of 13; the girl on the other side of her, one of five. As a child, I slept with my Mom until I was about 13-14 years old and never minded the other body beside mine while sleeping after I married but sure did miss that after he left. It took me a lot of years to adjust to being "alone" and now, I am alone and yet, because my daughter, her family and I live together, I'm not alone. But I have become more than a bit reclusive the older I get, more content to do solitary things -like the needlework stuff for instance. Reading though was a huge solace for me growing up though and I've always been able to get lost in books -still do that from time to time. Some folks tend to regard me as being an extrovert but in essence, I am actually much more of an introvert -just a loud one though. Or maybe I'm just a tad bi-polar -with a rapid on/off switch at times. I dunno which way to call it as there are times when I really do long for people -lots of people -to be part of my surroundings and then, there are times when I do just prefer to be alone too. These days the thoughts of wanting some "alone time" generally come about after having had a bad day with some contrary grandkids! LOL I do however still wish that a sibling had been a part of my life.

Elaine Denning said...

When we had to take showers at middle school (up to age 11 or 12) we weren't concerned with looking at each other, we were too busy looking at the teacher! Yes, strangely, she'd rip her kit off and shower with us. It wouldn't be allowed now!

i beati said...

Privacy is the heart of my existence. I write much more on blogs than people know in my life. I love to sit quietly in the park and commune with nature, and oh I miss the northern lilacs SO much ..Of course I'll never look at a big lilac bush the same again !!

Shammickite said...

I am an only child, and like you, I was very comfortable playing and reading and exploring on my own. And I still am.
I've been shoved into "aloneness" twice. Each time was a shock and brought sorrow and despair, but I prefer living on my own now. I have friends and family within reach, but I control my own life and do whatever I want.... love it!

Unknown said...

This post hit home for me as well, because I definitely need, and even crave, my privacy. Each of us needs some time alone and some time with others, but some of us need more alone time with others.

While I was reading this, I was interrupted twice by my Beloved and once by a telephone call that I did not want to get, plus another time by my Beloved asking who called. (I didn't want to talk about it.) I don't know how I keep my sanity. :-)


Anonymous said...

Another great post, Jim, that really seems to have pushed a lot of buttons. JP and I have had separate beds for so many years I cannot remember when it happened, though I do know why. He gets night terrors...less now than when he was younger, but still no reason to change back. He reads, I listen to the radio...I get to keep the covers and he is not disturbed by my slightest movement. As to the craving for solitude-it comes and goes-but as I have never had it, I have learned to live without it...and if the need gets too strong...I log on...he can't bug me here.

Pearl said...

I myself was a closet hider. :-) I was also partial to the bottom cupboards in the kitchen.


Saz said...

as of the last few weeks...l find l quite like sleeping alone, no one kicking me, or snoring next to me, (now though l can hear the guy below, a doctor and boy can he snore, did you hear him last night?)

always had a fear of being alone since my days in bedsit land.quite awful, 3 am night terrors ad all that...but this has passed l feel with age....of course now l have my own space...and l will see i time how l like it...

good to be back...and yes do add me if you are happy to..

saz x

GreenJello said...

It wasn't until junior high that I realized if someone had natural red hair on their head, hair in other places would be red, too.

The humiliating part of having to take showers in junior high (required!!!) was that the PE teacher was lesbian, and would look you over good and well before pronouncing you "clean".

Showering is optional at my girls' school. And they have actual changing rooms, and private shower stalls. Much better option, if you ask me.

CSD Faux Finishing said...

Working from home most of the time allows me an ungodly number of hours all for me. I can truly sympathize on the car with bass or dog barking ruining my peace and quiet. Most days (unless I'm editing and then I need to have crime dramas on tv, don't ask!) I don't even turn the radio on and just relish in the happy sound of a clicking keyboard. This lack of infiltration allows me plenty of head space and at night we both sleep great, and in the same bed no less!