Thursday, March 27, 2008

E For Excrement

CrazyCath has decided that this blog should get the E For Excrement award.


I don't know what I did to deserve such abusive treatment. I think I'm a reasonably nice guy. I don't go out of my way to pick fights with other bloggers, and I don't believe I've ever said anything but nice stuff about CrazyCath (even if she is, you know, Crazy.) It makes a fellow sit long and think hard (which isn't as much fun as sitting hard and thinking long, but it will have to do.)

I mean, I know I occasionally go off on tangents here. I've insulted the entire city of Oakland quite a bit lately. God knows I've bored you to tears while going on and on about the Celtics, softball, the Red Sox, and candlepin bowling. I've done my share of old-fart ranting. I've been known to publish wholly-overblown and pompous critiques. In the past, I believe I may have even conjured a scenario wherein a current presidential candidate and a famous singer make use of a sex toy together. However, are any of those things reason enough to bestow the E For Excrement award? Well, of course they are, but... but... will it help if I just break down and cry? I'll do it! I'll do anything to avoid criticism!

But, OK, if that's the way you want it, CrazyCath, then that's the way it's going to be. You... you... you POOPY-PANTS, you! There! NOW who's sorry? And you supposedly come from where? The "United Kingdom"? Oh, please! You poor Dungeons & Dragons wannabe. At least be a bit more original. Make up a country that people won't automatically know is a phony. You are such a igorammus.

Well, I'm giving you the "3 Is For What Finger I'm Holding Up And Aiming At You Right At This Very Moment And What Are You Going To Do About It, Bitch?" award, OK? So there, smarty! How do you like them apples?

[looks at top of own blog, blinks twice, rubs eyes, reads it again]

E For... Excellent?



(Oh. It appears I'm supposed to give this award to 10 other blogs that I like. Then they can pass it on to another 10, and so on. If you're on my sidebar, consider yourself awarded. It's the least I can do for putting your name in such a vastly inferior public space.)

(Also: Now that CrazyCath has read this and commented, I'll tell her "Thank you!" It is always a thrill to be thought of in such a manner, even if the person doing the thinking comes from someplace fictitious.)


Buck said...

The "E" is most deserved, IM(not so)HO.

re: wholly-overblown and pompous critiques

That piece is most certainly brilliant... and sorta re-enforces my opinion that ALL music critiques should be written by musicians. I really liked it (Iggy, too).

Suldog said...

Buck - You're too kind, same as CrazyCath.

Cath said...

Well isn't that just typical of a man? And one from ... where ..? Where is that place huh?

Learn to READ! Honestly!!

Glad you seem to like it. Eventually!

since I'm on your sidebar, does that mean I get another E award? :0)

(I deserve one after THAT rant!lol)

I was right over at my blog. What a mistake. I'll never hear the end of this now..... [slaps forehead]

Suldog said...

CrazyCath - Love & Kisses, darlin'. Just taking the piss as they say in (yeah, I still don't believe this is a real place) The United Kingdom. And, what's the town supposed to be? Lancashire? We've got one of those in Pennsylvania, you know. I bet that's where you're really from.

Cath said...

No I am in Lancashire, but it is a COUNTY in the UK. I'm not any more than specific than that because it is a little place I live in and psychopathic net surfers.. er ... I mean well, I'm just shy that's all.

And this place is real. The UK. It is white and fluffy and bouncy. There's lots of lovely people here and it's ok because they know me here.

Cath said...

And what do you mean taking the piss? Get your own piss!

Why'd you want mine? Sheeeeez.

Suldog said...

CrazyCath - OK, now I know where you got the well-deserved name. Good stuff. God bless.

lime said...

LOL, you crack me up.

John-Michael said...

If You and CrazyCath can't "play nice", I'm gonna separate the two of you into distant sand-boxes!

There! My parental job is done here!

FĂ©nix - Bostonscapes said...

Hi Suldog,

You are a riot, man. :D

Thank you for the nice welcome note you sent the other day. Much appreciated.

Suldog said...

Lime - I'm sorry to hear that. If I send you some Spackle, will you be able to make the necessary repairs?

John-Michael - Excellent! I haven't had a chance to play in a sandbox in years!

Fenix - So good to hear from you. We'll get the "Thanksgiving Comes First" thing going yet!

Anonymous said...

E is for excrement?

Emily Litella would have been so proud.

Melissa said...

Congrats on the excellent excrement award! Seriously though, I do enjoy coming here and reading your blog. I hope you have a great weekend!

Brian in Oxford said...'s not a Sue Grafton novel? Bummer...

Liv said..., if i wanted to email you, how would i do that?? i have the actual excrement award that one of MY readers made for me since i thought it was preposterous that someone would call me excellent...

or you could read my latest post and go get the thing off my sidebar! either way!