Monday, October 07, 2013
I keep coming here and telling you what a big deal I am. I've been published, etc., etc.
You have to be getting sick of me crowing about myself. So, how do I blow my own horn again while keeping it intriguing enough to instill a desire in you to buy the publication in question? Since I am a bear of very little brain, I can think of only one way - a contest!
Here's the deal: I will pay for a subscription to Discover (the latest in my magnificent string of triumphs, wherein [or whereupon] my story about robots is featured on the cover, thank you.)
In order to get the FREE one-year subscription, you must do two things.
1) Buy a one-year subscription (only $15, which is half the regular rate because they love my friends!)
2) Mail me proof of your subscribing (only 46 cents, last I checked, and you'll be helping to keep my mailman employed! You'll be doing your bit for the federal government, too!)
I will put all of the proofs in a non-partisan hat and randomly choose one. Yay! A Winner! The rest of you will own a paid subscription to a vastly interesting and well-written compendium of the latest news concerning science, technology, health, physics, the environment, medicine, and Santa Claus.
(That last was a hint concerning the next piece of my writing scheduled to appear in the magazine. Get your subscription now and be the envy of your neighbors when you have the inside scoop on Kris Kringle!)
In other words, there will be no losers.
I'll sweeten the deal. If you don't get the FREE subscription, I'll mention you here and give your blog a link. That'll be worth at least three or four hits. Wow! I'll also say a prayer for you (which may or may not carry any weight - considering my past - and may actually pull you down a peg in the eyes of God, but I've heard rumors to the effect that He's benevolent, so it will probably go on the good side of your ledger.)
Send your entries to:
Suldog's Totally Awesome Contest
93 Winsor Avenue
Watertown, MA 02472
Entries must be postmarked by October 20th.
In the meantime, those of you unwilling to part with a few bucks may still bear witness to the glory which is me. Discover, in its infinite wisdom, has posted my piece to their website. I think this comes under the heading of "Giving away the milk before you sell the cow", but they're the professionals and I'm just a writer.
(But a damn good one, and I would point out that buying a subscription will get you my words on super slick glossy pages, while clicking onto the link below will not. Since all of my previous publications have been in newsprint, this is a BIG DEAL and you should get in on the ground floor. When I am awarded my Pulitzer in 2021, you'll be able to sell this issue on E-Bay for at least the cost of the subscription. If it doesn't fetch that much, give me a call - if I'm still alive - and I'll buy you lunch. See? You can't lose!)
My First Appearance In A Glossy! (but only if you buy the print edition)
So there you have it. Make of it what you will. I certainly have.
Soon, with more scientific stuff.
P.S. I owe special thanks to quite a few people at Discover, but I'm sure they'd appreciate not having their good names dragged through the mud via association with me. However, the person who worked most closely with me on this was Gemma Tarlach. Her editing skills, and fine suggestions, were at least as responsible for this as I was. Sorry, Gemma. That's what you get for being kind.