Thursday, July 18, 2013

I Can Die Happy Now (I'm Not Going To Die, So Don't Send Flowers, But If I Wanted To, I Could)


DISCLAIMER: I suppose I'm going to die sometime. Just not today (unless God has a wicked sense of humor, which I believe He does, so I'll just shut up and get on with it.)

Today, I received the latest issue of Funny Times in the mail. My name is on the front page. It is also listed on the back page, under "Features". This is because some of my writing appears on page 14.

You, of course, should run out and buy a gazillion copies.

The reason I can now die happy is because my name is in both of the previously mentioned places along with Dave Barry, Andy Borowitz, and other of my heroes in the field of humor. There are only 8 pages separating Dave Barry and me. That practically makes us roomies as far as I'm concerned. If nothing else ever happens in my life, I can now have my gravestone say, "Contemporary of Dave Barry."

I will also have a piece running in the Boston Herald this weekend. It will probably run in the same general vicinity as something by Bill O'Reilly. Even though I'm a big-time well-paid humorous contemporary of Dave Barry, I'll let you make your own joke.

I am now going to spend the rest of the afternoon basking in my glory. I'll be too busy admiring myself to answer the phone, so don't call (unless you're Dave Barry, because you are my equal, after all, and - I'm not making this up - you aren't Bill O'Reilly.)

Soon, with more better stuff.

P.S. I have nothing personal against Bill O'Reilly. However, is he in this month's issue of Funny Times? No. So I win.


31 comments:

joeh said...

Well I am friends with you on Facebook so...dang, me and Dave Barry are buds!!

Very cool Suldog congrats!!

sandyland said...

Bask away

sandyland said...

I want a copy where can I get it ??Not here

PG said...

and you get billing ahead of Will Durst on the "inside this issue" blurb. Nice.

Tabor said...

You have my official permission to do a big happy dance and pat yourself on the back several dozen times! Congrats!! You could have written the whole post without mentioning B.O'Reilly, by the way.

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

I thought it only counted when Dave Barry also mentions you in his blog?

That said, I will mention I read all of your posts.
I don't read all of Dave Barry's posts.

Karen said...

Congrats!!

Stephen Hayes said...

I'm pretty good at home repair so call me if your head gets too big to pass through I door and I'll help enlarge it---the door, not your head. Congratulations.

Suldog said...

If not available on your local newsstands, Sandy, I'd check the website link I gave. I'm sure ordering info is there! Thanks!

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Right on! Things are definitely moving in a terrific direction with your writing, so excited for you!

Buck said...

COOL!

Bask away, my friend... bask away!

messymimi said...

Congratulations! An Official Happy Snoopy Dance for you!

Saz said...

oooohhhh now i can say BIG JIM, ahh you know columnist, journolist, writer, humourist, satirist, yeh BIG JIM
so happy for you...and Mum would be/is too l'm sure!! xxx

Juli said...

Bask away in all your glory. But wear sun block. It's hot as hell out there. :)

silly rabbit said...

Now I can bask in the glory of being able to say that I know a real life, paid writer! Let us bask as one in spirit. (Ok. I'm basking in your glory. Congratulations!)

Jackie said...

I like Bill O'Reilly.
I love you. (My Brother, of course. )
How's that for perspective. )
I'm so proud of you.

Absolut Ruiness said...

That sounds BIG!!!! Frankly, i'm not aware of any of the gentlemen you mentioned. But the very fact that YOU (the funniest writer I've come across) feel esteemed being "just 8 pages" away from them, establishes them as legends. You didn't come across as a person who idolizes easily so it must be a big deal. Congratulations again!

Michelle H. said...

Big Congrats! Now go play some Bejeweled Blitz for the rest of the day!

Lil said...

Congrats! That is way cool.

Lil said...

But please don't die

Suldog said...

I'll give it a shot, but no promises.

Kat said...

That is so freaking cool. I'm honored to be able to comment on your blog. I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!


CONGRATS! :)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Congratulations to YOU! This is all very, very cool.
Can I have your autograph?
jj

Suldog said...

Send a self-address stamped envelope to:

Big Honking Deal Writer
93 Winsor Avenue
Watertown, MA 02472-1482

Enclose whatever you feel is sufficient for a thing of such magnitude (probably a confederate two-cent piece.)

Jim B. H. D. W. Sullivan
xxxooo <------------------Very big deal kisses and hugs, almost as good as an autograph!

Suldog said...

Wise guy...

Suldog said...

Thank you, Saz. The part about your Mum makes me very proud, indeed.

Lowandslow said...

Hot damn! That's awesome! Congrats.
S

Craig said...

That is so cool, Jim. I'm happy for you. It's kinda how I felt when I got to sing the Exsultet at the Easter Vigil.

Remember the little people, 'K?

JudisJems said...

Congratulations on all of it - especially being in the same issue and in close proximity to Dave Barry!

You are now almost famous!!

Peace, Judi

lime said...

hey, that's pretty cool! congrats!

Hilary said...

Woah.. never mind Dave Barry. I see that this issue also includes an article by one of my favourite (aside from Frank and you, of course) columnist of all times.. W. Bruce Cameron. I've been reading his online columns (though they've dwindled over the past few years) for well over fifteen years. He's brilliantly funny but of course, not as funny as Frank and you. ;)

Congrats, Jim. You deserve it. :)