Thursday, July 18, 2013
DISCLAIMER: I suppose I'm going to die sometime. Just not today (unless God has a wicked sense of humor, which I believe He does, so I'll just shut up and get on with it.)
Today, I received the latest issue of Funny Times in the mail. My name is on the front page. It is also listed on the back page, under "Features". This is because some of my writing appears on page 14.
You, of course, should run out and buy a gazillion copies.
The reason I can now die happy is because my name is in both of the previously mentioned places along with Dave Barry, Andy Borowitz, and other of my heroes in the field of humor. There are only 8 pages separating Dave Barry and me. That practically makes us roomies as far as I'm concerned. If nothing else ever happens in my life, I can now have my gravestone say, "Contemporary of Dave Barry."
I will also have a piece running in the Boston Herald this weekend. It will probably run in the same general vicinity as something by Bill O'Reilly. Even though I'm a big-time well-paid humorous contemporary of Dave Barry, I'll let you make your own joke.
I am now going to spend the rest of the afternoon basking in my glory. I'll be too busy admiring myself to answer the phone, so don't call (unless you're Dave Barry, because you are my equal, after all, and - I'm not making this up - you aren't Bill O'Reilly.)
Soon, with more better stuff.
P.S. I have nothing personal against Bill O'Reilly. However, is he in this month's issue of Funny Times? No. So I win.