Saturday, January 26, 2013

Me, A to Z





I "stole" this from Jenn Flynn-Shon, a wonderful writer and, more important, a swell person.

Since losing my previous job, I’ve been doing no writing for this space other than tales of unemployment. I owe you more than that. You've all been loyal. Many of you are saying prayers for me. Some of you have been coming here for years. You deserve better. Also, I need to keep my blog chops up. Even though I've been trying to set myself up to function as a full-time paid writer (or to do work connected with writing, such as the fact-checking work I've landed) I've actually done little writing as of late. Mostly, I've been going over my past output to find immediately salable items. That involves editing more than writing. So, this will allow me to exercise my typing fingers a bit and, I hope, provide more entertainment than I've recently given you.


Age - 55. Had you asked me if I would ever be this age, back when I was 20, I would have laughed in your face. I will gladly do the same for you now, if you ask me about the chance of my being 90 someday.

Bed Size - Twin. I've had them all at some point in my life - King, Queen, Full, Couch, Hammock, Sleeping Bag, Floor, Gutter. MY WIFE has a Queen. No, we do not sleep in the same room. This suits us just fine, thank you. While we like each other, we see no need to conform to societal norms as concerns sleeping arrangements. I smoke and snore. She likes to keep the TV on all night. If we slept together, we wouldn't be nearly as happily married as we are.

Chore You Hate - Ironing. If I had a wardrobe that required me to do it more often, I'd be a miserable man. Therefore, I have made every effort to not be more stylish than is absolutely necessary. If there's a funeral, I iron a bit.


Dogs - Despite my nickname, not my cup of tea. I prefer more quiet and self-sufficient animals.



Cats understand me and I understand cats. It's a moot point, anyway, as MY WIFE is allergic to animal dander. I haven't had a cat since the one that lived with me when MY WIFE joined me in cohabitation. To prove how much cats understand my needs, that one (pictured above) left of his own accord about a week after MY WIFE moved in.


Essential Start To My Day - Coffee and a cigarette. Until I've had both, my brain is a pile of semi-gelatinous goo.

Favorite Color - Green. I especially like it in combination with Black. If I ever own a sports team, the uniforms will be those two colors.

Gold or Silver - Silver, hands down. If someone wants to give me a big pile of gold bars, however, don't be afraid that I'll throw them back in your face. I'll politely accept them.

House or Apartment - Apartment. The first thing I'll do when someone gives me that big pile of gold bars, though, is buy a house.

Instruments Played - Bass, Drums, Guitar, Keyboards, and a smattering of just about everything else. I made a nuisance of myself in every band I was in. No matter what instrument I was expected to play, I'd grab something different during breaks and teach myself a bit. For those wondering (bless you) the names of my bands, in chronological order, were World's End, Live Wire, Powerline, P.S. Wild, City Limits, Soldier, and Assault & Battery. I was the bass player in all but the first.

(I'm second from left in the above shot, for those of you who think I was always bald.)


Job Title - As of now, Freelance Writer. Previously? There have been some 29 or 30, most recently Voice-Over Artist and Producer for some 20+ years. All things considered, I would gladly be doing nothing at all, but I can't afford it.

Kids - Are fine for other people but far too much work for me. I enjoy being an uncle. I can play with the kids and then hand them off to someone with a greater sense of responsibility when I get tired of it.

Live - Is better than not.

Married - Yes, very. MY WIFE is my soulmate. I would prefer that she get her own Facebook account, but she does all the ironing.

Never Again - Will I put my financial future in the hands of one person, if I can avoid it. Losing my job of 20+ years duration, about four weeks ago now, was one of the biggest shocks of my life. From now on, my life's stock will be diversified.

Other Fun Fact - I am typing this while sitting next to my grapefruit tree. I was having breakfast one morning and decided to see if I could grow a grapefruit tree from one of the seeds I encountered. I was successful and it is now about three-and-a-half feet tall. They can reach heights of thirty feet.

This is a shot of Planty (that's his name) from when he was about two-and-a-half feet shorter than he is now. I have no idea what I'm going to do when he outgrows the house. Grapefruit trees do not do well in the winter where we live, so permanently planting it outdoors would kill him. I guess I'd have to put Planty up for adoption, so those of you living in Arizona or Florida or other places grapefruit trees love to live can probably expect to hear me begging you to take him in a few years.

Pet Peeve - Am I limited to only ONE? I guess so. In that case, I'll go with those advertisements that pop up on the screen during television shows. I hate those things. Television is very aggravating, overall, these days. If you're of the same age as me, more-or-less, I recommend ME-TV. They do it right. No pop-ups. Full opening and closing segments of shows, including credits. They have the decency to allow you a chance to suspend disbelief. And the line-up is chock full of great old shows from the 50's, 60's, and 70's. It is wonderful. Therefore, I expect it to go out of business within six months or so.

Quote - "You are special. There is only one person like you in the world, and everybody can like you just the way you are." - Fred "Mister" Rogers


Righty or Lefty - Righty, but I have a fair amount of dexterity with both due to my playing around with so many musical instruments.

Siblings - None, thank you very much. I was, and am, a very happy only child. I've gained some step-sisters and step-brothers via My Mom, and they are beautiful people, but I still, deep in the recesses of my disordered mind, hold on to my being an only.

Time You Wake Up - Generally, a few minutes before 7:00, every day, with or without an alarm. I did so, with an alarm, for over 20 years, so this will probably remain the norm for a couple more months at least. We'll see.

University Attended - None. I escaped high school in 1974 and was ecstatic to be done with schooling for the rest of my life.

(Actually, I did go back to school, in 1990, to earn a certificate in broadcasting. Following my time there, that school gained accreditation as an actual college, so I could honestly now say I graduated college, but I find it more satisfying to have people assume that I went to college and then enjoy the surprised looks when I tell them that I didn't.)

Veggies You Dislike - Mushrooms.




I assiduously avoid eating fungus of any kind. Blech.

What Makes You Run Late - Very little. I was born with a great sense of time. Twenty years as a professional voice only served to reinforce it. I can generally read something aloud in whatever time limit you desire while not referring to a clock. Similarly, barring mechanical breakdowns of whatever conveyance I'm utilizing, I tend to be wherever I'm supposed to be at the time I'm supposed to be there.

X-Rays - Many for my mouth over the years. A few for my neck. Otherwise, I don't have a heck of a lot to say about X-Rays. I guess I've been blessed.

Yum Food - Whoopie pies. Eclairs. Boston Cream Pie. Just about anything composed of a combination of cake and creamy filling. If we're talking about something other than desserts, there are many. I have yet to find my limit for beef. You can keep putting it on my plate and I will keep eating it. I love a good turkey dinner. Many pasta dishes have a place (probably literally) in my heart. Good pizza is a joy (bad pizza is a capital offense.)

Zoo Animal Favorite - Bobcats. I've always loved them for the combination of grace, power, speed, and wicked good-looking sideburns.






MY WIFE once gave me two bobcats for my birthday. No, she didn't give me a box to unwrap and when I did so the bobcats jumped out and ripped my face to ribbons. A wildlife sanctuary we liked, where animals who had been injured in some way precluding them being re-released into the wild were allowed to live, had bobcats. She made a donation for upkeep of the bobcats and I received a certificate of "ownership". One of the coolest gifts I ever received.

And I guess that does it, unless there are other letters of the alphabet I've forgotten. Why not do one of these yourself? I'd love to see how your answers stack up next to mine. If nothing else, comparing yourself to me should be good enough to assure you of your own comparative sanity.

Soon, with more better stuff.

53 comments:

Uncle Skip, said...

That's pretty good stuff, Sully... definitely within the realm of, "Gee, I could do something like that."

Don't hold your breath, though.
I'm not nearly that organized.

Kat said...

Haha! Your cat left shortly after your wife moved in. That is hilarious!

That was fun. I may have to steal that from you.

Hilary said...

Fun stuff during a less than amusing time for you. Thanks for that.

You and cats certainly do understand one another. That is so typical of a feline. He just got it.

Tabor said...

Well, if I get bored I may bore my readers with such an analysis, but for now I will let you take the lead. Clearly you can write on ANYTHING, so I think they should grab you right away.

Ami said...

I am only two days ahead on my posts. So I might do an A to Z. But I usually talk too much, so might have to spread it out over a few days.

The cat thing cracked me up. I am a dog person. We were talking this morning about it, since both of dreamed of puppies. But we think that a person needs to be home to raise the puppy, at least most of the time. Which means we're unable to have one right now anyway. And we sure as hell can't afford another mouth to feed.

I was struck by the bed thing, too. I would sleep away from Eric on occasion, but I prefer to have us snoring in unison. It used to be a trio, but a little over a year ago, we had our old dog put down.

Write here when you can. I think all your regular readers understand and will come back anyway, whether it's a month or two months between posts.

Meanwhile I am sending good thoughts your way. I know the economy sucks. Eric is looking for a job right now, too.

Joanne Noragon said...

My dad, a no pet man, was adoped by a cat the last several years he was alive. Katherine (Kitty for short) protected him. She clawed me when I started cutting his hair, for instance. She left the day after he died. I may have to write her story. Thanks for the clue.
Keep on taking jobs; they all add up. One year I paid the taxes from my ebay cut of helping my friend close her antique barn. The hardest retirement job ever, packing and shipping and not breaking cookie jars.

3GKnight said...

Good stuff! Except the mushrooms thing. Fungus sautéed in butter is to die for. I usually put them on a burger but have to make a double batch because most don't make it that far. I envy your beef eating endurance. My love hasn't waned but my stomach doesn't share the sentiment. Glad you found some work too!

Michelle H. said...

I may have to swipe this template to do it myself to post something new on my blog. A wonderful breakdown about some of the things in your life. As for the grapefruit tree, maybe it will end up being a miniature tree you could place in the corner of your kitchen. Wouldn't it be something to sit down at the table, reach up, pluck a grapefruit from the tree and slice it open to eat?

Do they ever give you updates about your bobcats? Like tracking the bobcat through a tracker device and seeing how they are faring?

Suldog said...

Michelle - For all my love of bobcats, I'm not sure of their life expectancy. The gift was ten years ago, at least. I have to suspect "my" bobcats may not still be among the living. However, I'd rather pretend that they are, so I'll do as I do with most things in my life - be willfully ignorant :-)

Michelle H. said...

Ah, but even if the bobcats you originally adopted are gone from this world, their offspring is still around, thankful for the human who gave them the chance of being a part of this world.

As an aside, I can't stand mushrooms either. No fungus among us!

Jackie said...

Love knowing more about you, Jim. Thank you for sharing (quite cleverly, of course.)
Regarding "E"...I was hoping that you had quit one of those (not coffee)...and I do hope that you will at least cut down, puhleeze. You know that I'm not trying to interfere or nag. I truly do care about you and your health.
Luv,
J.

Maggie May said...

That was a really good post. Always good to know more about other people.
Might copy this idea at some point!
BTW........ just LOVE mushrooms!
Maggie x

Nuts in May

messymimi said...

Glad to learn more about you. And since i'm getting tired of writing about how i have no internet at home because of a conglomerate that doesn't care if it serves its customers or not, i may take you up on the offer and do one of these, too.

Janet said...

What a fun post. And I'm glad to hear you're doing some work!! Things are looking up!

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

How'd you manage to leave softball out of that post?

Another thing... if you rewrite the title as MeAZ it looks kinda like what a cat says

Heck, how'd you manage to leave sports out of the post?

OldAFSarge said...

Suldog, great to see you (figuratively of course). Love the A to Z thing, I'm definitely going to do that. (I needed an idea, you gave me one, ask and ye shall receive, the system works!)

Still keeping you in my prayers, in my experience you can never get enough of those.

Juli said...

So... someone has to die to get you to iron? Good to know. :)

Jeff Laws said...

I hear you about the cats. All of my family have dogs, makes it annoying to even go over to their houses. My mom's bark non-stop. My brother's are huge and in your face. I'll take a cat over a dog any day.

Janet said...

So, does letter M mean you actually have a Facebook account now?

Buck Pennington said...

Good job on the Eh-to-Zed (We're feeling British today. Or mebbe Canuckian.). I've done this... Twice.

Suldog said...

Apparently, miracles do happen.

Suldog said...

Yes, I do have one. As you may have gathered, MY WIFE uses it as often as I do.

Kerry said...

What's a Whoopie Pie?

Suldog said...

A whoopie pie is... well, imagine a hamburger wherein the roll is chocolate cake and the beef is cream filling.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whoopie_pie

Three Hundred Sixty Five said...

Great post...so sad Kerry doesn't know about whoopie pies, I used to love when my Mom would put one in my lunch bag. Glad to hear you landed work, and hope it will open more doors for you. (good thoughts....good thoughts) - my attempt at the Jedi mind trick!

Stephen Hayes said...

College or no college, you're a highly educated person. You may have stopped going to school after high school but I bet you've never stopped learning.

sandyland said...

pretty cool

sandyland said...

pretty cool

Barbara Shallue said...

And I thought I knew everything there was to know about you already... :)

The Geezers said...

We certainly know you better now, which is the point, isn't it? I'll have to consider doing one of these myself. I hope the job situation gets better.

Joan said...

Same start to my day. It's weirdly something I look forward to when I go to bed at night.
I had to laugh about the ironing. I would probably look more put together if I did do it, but it's something I mostly refuse to do. My aunt had a job for many years doing just this. Clients would drop off their pile of clothes, she'd iron, and they'd come pick them up. Not the job for me. :)

Karen said...

Mmm, Boston Cream Pie :)

Lowandslow said...

Excellent. I just posted my version of this. Thanks for being the inspiration.

S

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Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Absolutely STUNNED that "Christmas decorations in October" did not make the cut for Pet Peeve.

lime said...

i'm no great fan or ironing myself but i do prefer cotton over synthetics. it's a problem. i have been known to stockpile my ironing for months. honestly, i hate cleaning the bathroom more but it's too disgusting to ignore that chore. wrinkly clothes don't threaten to evolve new lifeforms so it's easy to ignore.

Suldog said...

Well, I did limit myself to ONE, so I chose one that aggravates me year round.

Maria said...

My partner was in an all girl rock band all through her college years. They were very sure that they'd be the next Go Gos. One succeeded to "make it big" and now has had four grammy nominations but no wins. The others? One owns her own cleaning company, another is a stockbroker and mother of five, one is MIA and my partner teaches high school.

It's funny where life takes you.

Brighton Pensioner said...

OK there, young Jim, I'll accept the challenge. You can read my A-Z at Pebbles in the Sea.

Babs said...

I liked this A-Z thing. Reminded me somewhat of Random thoughts. I think I'll try it.
I understand the mushroom dislike, I look at them as erasers..I used to like cats but stopped, I like dogs now, but don't have either..I'm pet-less. That's okay.
Nice to see you writing on the blog again...

Jeni said...

As always, I totally enjoyed this post! You never disappoint me, ya know. My fav lines though were about the caffeine and nicotine waker-uppers, as I am pretty much that way too. And also, the one about the ME-tv -and that you expect it to go belly-up in 6 months because it's really neat and cool. I'm still snickering over that one. Now, keep writing, whenever, whatever, and get that fire stoked as your talents in that department are just waiting for discovery of a great display place.

Daryl said...

you are a fascinating guy ... me, not so much ... but i am looking forward to February

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

Kids - I'm honored you left my word for word sentiment in there because, yeah its pretty much true. The grapefruit tree sounds great! You did all the hard work already, its a shame you can't keep it but I'd be more than willing to take it off your hands in a couple years. Let me know! And as for pizza? I've had passable pies since getting to the southwest but am strongly considering flying back home for a few days just to stock up on some truly remarkable slices...mmmm.

Lil said...

Love it. I think I'll do this one...

Craig said...

Cute meme. Thanks.

E - you realize, of course, that your brain is ALWAYS a big glob of semi-gelatinous goo, even when it's working crisply. . .

F - You're gonna buy the Celtics? Both my high-school and college teams wore green and white, but yesterday, it was green-and-bronze. Something about 'Spartans' and bronze, and guys from Nike with too much time on their hands. . .

I - Except for the drums, I'm the same as you. But I'd say keyboards (piano, really) first, then guitar, then bass. The only instrument I have simply failed to produce a sound on is the oboe. . .

K - I've always told my friends without children that, if anyone gives 'em grief, they could just say that we're having theirs. . .

V - Mushrooms are a veggie? Anyway, I love 'shrooms (the, uh, regular eating kind; altho, to be perfectly candid, I've never tried the psychedelic kind). Guess you and I can never share a pizza. . .

Z - For whatever reason, I've always had a thing for elephants. 'Cuz they're fat and smart. Much like me, when I was a kid. Or heck, now. Plus, I just think it's cool to be able to grab stuff with your nose. . .

And at this point, I should mention that my favorite children's book is Dr. Seuss' On Beyond Zebra. "Because most people stop at the Z, but not me!"

Ami said...

I ended up doing this... and it's FOUR posts long. Because I do long sentences and say a whole lot of nothing about everything.

Bear Walker said...

Great as usual. Me, hate mushrooms and love ME TV, maybe showing my age but some of those shows are timeless.

I so enjoy coming here for a non combative blog, you are like an oasis in the middle of a desert.

Suldog said...

Jenn - I just told Planty that he has a home in the great American Southwest awaiting him someday, should he need it, and he looked rather pleased. I suspect this is because he's sitting next to a window right now and watching the snow come down, but it could be because he's read your book, Ripple The Twine... http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5812656.Jenn_Flynn_Shon ... since he also sits next to a bookshelf. Either way, much appreciated :-)

Suldog said...

Craig - As regards V, I don't know why the psychedelic sort never came to mind while I was writing that. I have tried them, and I rather liked them, too.

(It also just occurs to me that "psychedelic" could be used as a substitute word in the theme song for The Mickey Mouse Club...

P-S-Y Why? Because we're wasted, man!

C-H-E Led the revolution in Cuba!

D-E-L-I-C!

Carlos Casteneda got nothing on me, pal.

Janet said...

Look me up if you like. The Mountain Man made fun of me for ages, but he was lurking on my page so much he finally got his own and now he's on it more than I am.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hi Jim, I just posed my A-Z. Thanks for the tip. jj

bill lisleman said...

Interesting stuff. I've seen your comments on various blogs but I don't think I've been to your blog. These types of posts are great introductions.
Good luck on the job search if that is what you seek. I got knock off a career ladder in my mid-fifties too.

Quirkyloon said...

I enjoyed this!

However, I was somewhat miffed to read that your favorite zoo animal is the bobcat.

What about the wombats?

HA!