Monday, December 31, 2012

My Own Unique Hell


I wasn't planning on writing anything here until after the new year. What with becoming redundant (as it is so charmingly put by my British friends) and having to take care of particulars concerned with that (filing to get unemployment, figuring out how to roll over my pension into an IRA so I don't get soaked on taxes, buying a machine gun to go shoot up my former office...)

(That's a JOKE. Not a very good one, but still... I don't need the FBI up my ass now on top of everything else. JOKE - JOKE - JOKE!!! OK?)

Anyway, I wasn't planning on writing anything. What just happened to me, however, is so uniquely part of what could only be my own personal hell, I just had to relate it to you.

In Massachusetts, one can file an unemployment claim over the telephone. They ask you to call in on certain days of the week depending upon your Social Security number. My day to call, to file a new claim, is today. So I did.

You all know what I did for a living, right?

I was a voice-over guy who also produced recording sessions for other talents. I edited the voice files made during those other recording sessions. I then added music, formatted the files for various applications, and did other niceties to make them sound really swell. I was (am) damn good at what I do.

The place that fired me after 20+ years mostly specializes in telephone applications. That is, the jobs I voiced and/or produced were usually for clients who would place the finished files on their telephone systems. Then, when people would call in, they would hear those files, that music, etc.

Are you miles ahead of me here?

I just called to file my unemployment claim and the recorded voice on the other end of the phone is from a session I produced, recorded, edited, polished, formatted, and sent off to the unemployment office some 5 or 6 six years ago.

I did an excellent job on it.

I would say, "Shoot me now, please", but it gets better.

I was informed that, due to a high volume of calls, they would be unable to process my claim at this time. The recorded voice requested I call back later and ONCE AGAIN LISTEN TO WHAT I USED TO DO FOR A LIVING BEFORE I FILE FOR MY UNEMPLOYMENT.

What else can I do but laugh? God has a seriously good sense of humor.

(OK, sure, I could cry. But I'm saving that for later in the day when the recorded system tells me, again, to call back some other time.)

Soon, with more bitter stuff.


37 comments:

Uncle Skip, said...

Now that's irony!

Craig said...

I'm sorry, Sully, but. . .

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

That's just hilarious!

(*ahem*)

So, then. . . you need any help with that machine gun?

And hey, talk about getting your stuff 'out there'. . . right?

Jackie said...

Hope you get past the recorded session (even though I know it was nicely done)...and get to talk to a living, breathing person.
Ironic beyond belief!!
I can only shake my head.
Wish I could have seen the look on your face as you "talked to yourself" this morning.
You have a healthy dose of a good attitude, Jim. That's for sure.
You are teaching me...
(Love your sign off....and your Header to your Friends' list.)

Maggie May said...

Glad you are keeping your sense of humour. It is awful to have to wait. It would be typical over here, especially with the holidays etc. Could take weeks to sort out. I really hope that there is an opening of some kind. Your work sounded very specialised.
Could you start up something as a self employed person? Something in the same line?
Dare I say, Happy New Year? You can chuck a shoe at me!
Maggie x

Nuts in May

Joanne Noragon said...

Glad you will keep pounding the keys; good way to blow off frustration. I do hope the unemployment application experience improves quickly. Here in my hometown one goes to a building with an enormous room, takes a number, sits on a bench and waits hours for the number to come up. To go go the window and register your presence in the room. Back to the bench and wait for you number again, to file. The building, in downtown Akron, is the Sojurner Truth building. One could scream in frustration.

Keep on going, it will pay off.

Carolina said...

At least you are not alone in your misery and lots of other people can enjoy the damn good job you once did :-) (Don't aim that machine gun at me!)

Lowandslow said...

Yeah, that is well past ironic! I wonder if the person who eventually takes your call will recognize your voice?

Hold on my friend. People's attitudes generally improve after the start of a new year. I have no idea why, but it's a fact they do. Let's hope one of those people will be your new employer. :)

S

Ami said...

Oh God I did see that coming!! ((hugs))
geez. Words fail me.

As for unemployment and jumping through their hoops I really really really really hate them... and agree at least in principle with the machine gun idea, only I think it would be funny to fill it with ketchup or mustard and just spray the holy hell out of them.

Karen said...

You just gotta laugh.

Buck Pennington said...

Soon, with more bitter stuff.

Well, there's irony, there's bitter irony, and there's THIS... which is beyond the frickin' pale.

What the others said about keepin' yer sense o' humor.

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Please tell me it wasn't YOUR OWN voice on the recording . . .

Sorry to hear about your situation, Jim. Hang tough.

Michelle H. said...

As I said before to you, look at the bright side of this. Even the federal government recognizes your talents. Take it and go places.

lime said...

it is just mind-bending. having just spent 4 months on unemployment i feel your pain at navigating the phone hell (though for me, without the existential mind-f***) may i suggest if they have an online filing option you give that a go. honestly, in 4 months i NEVER got through to a human being when i called. heck, i couldn't even get past a busy tone.

Some Blogging Guy said...

Wow, that is spooky weird. Sorry about your situation, hope you land on your feet and soar.
SBG

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

What Craig says

I mean you gotta laugh

Jeremy said...

Man that sucks about losing your job. I can't believe that they would do this during the holidays. I've got faith in you that you'll land on your feet and find something better. Good luck and Happy New Year/Ephiphany.

Sarah said...

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at that, Jim - was it your own voice? I often call my old place of employment (pre-MM), for whom I recorded their automated phone system, I still get a kick out of hearing myself answer the phone. Too funny. Irony indeed.

Suldog said...

Sarah (who used to work at the same place, for those wondering) - I should make it clear that it wasn't my own voice. I would rather it had been. It would have made an even better story. It was another talent, a female (no, not you, Sarah) who, while a really nice person, could sometimes be a real pain in the ass to edit. She had a habit of sticking the mic near air conditioners, computers, and other things that made noise, so her recordings were always hell to make sound good. I recall spending much longer editing that job than it should have taken.

Anonymous said...

Suldog,

Time for you to find your true calling, Suldog....

You should sign up as the bass player in a Black Sabbath cover band and enjoy the next chapter in life as the reincarnation of Geezer Butler!

How bout that for an idea?

FFG...#5

Stephen Hayes said...

I won't insult you by saying you should laugh about this. I know how badly this must hurt you. I hope 2013 has nothing but good stuff in store for you.

Jazz said...

It doesn't get more ironic. And the fact that the woman was a pain to edit.... Damn

sandyshares said...

I do not have strong kidneys Someday we'll talk about this and laugh and we will

messymimi said...

Part of me wants to tell a joke to make you feel better, but what i wanted to say might be more painful than funny.

Instead, i'll say that i hope the New Year brings you an even better job.

Juli said...

Awe... double crap.

Yes, my friend... that is your own personal hell.

Ericka said...

aw jeez, sully, i'm sorry.

SueAnn Lommler said...

Sorry but I had to chuckle....don't you just love irony? Ha!
Happy New Year hun!!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Paula Wooters said...

This is truly what the phrase "adding insult to injury" is all about! Wishing you a new year with more better stuff!

Daryl E said...

unbelievable and yet not ... its as absurd as the title Unemployment Office ..

Kat said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Sorry. I don't mean to laugh at your pain but that is seriously hilarious. God does have a sense of humor, and so do you. I'm glad you could get a little chuckle out of it too.

You're gonna make it, Suldog. I know you will.

Janet said...

oh dear . . .

Judi FitzPatrick said...

Oh gosh, I had no idea you were out of work; so sorry to hear that.

The good thing is as you look for a new job, if they want an example of your work you can just ask them to call the unemployment office!

2013 is going to be a great year for you, despite the hell you are currently in.

Peace and hugs, Judi

P.S. I finally went over to Career Source at Fresh Pond and filed my claim in person last time I was unemployed; just a thought.

silly rabbit said...

Wow. Having to file is trying enough without that insult to injury. But it is the best example of irony that I have seen in real life for a long time. I apologize, but I did have to laugh. However, you do have my sincerest sympathy, since it has not been that long since I was in that line myself. All you really can do is laugh at the frustrations there.

You are a clever and humorous person who will soon find a new path... and because I believe that God is in control of that... I am sure it will turn out for the best. I'll be keeping you in my evening line up. :)

Babs said...

Who would have thought....It's like those who fired you are giving you the finger or something, only with your own voice. I suppose I didn't need to say that.
Best to you and through this "humor" I am hopeful your unemployment will be short lived so you don't have to hear yourself while you think.
Much Happier New Year to you

Jeni said...

Ah, Jim -I can so relate to your phone call/recording dilemma. Remember the job I applied for back in November and actually even got a call to come in for an interview? I was actually so shocked that they called me in to interview that I actually gave some thought to the idea that maybe, just maybe, my luck would change for the better. Unfortunately that was not the case. Instead, I had the wonderful honor of listening to a friend of my kids tell me all about the new job she just got hired for and gee whiz, it turns out it was the one I had interviewed for! So much for educational and experience requirements listed on the job description as she meets not of that criteria. Oh well. Time to keep on looking for someone who actually values education, experience and interest too even though it comes in a much older package.

Hilary said...

Maybe it's Life's way of saying "Here's some more fodder... you should be a writer."

Jenny Woolf said...

Well, Hilary just said what I was trying to find the words to say. There must be many people who want to say something original interesting and fun but don't know how, specially in phone messages.

And you've made some lemonade out of lemons in giving us an amusing twist on this situation.

Kerry said...

The irony of this is so painful I don't even know what to say.