Monday, December 31, 2012
I wasn't planning on writing anything here until after the new year. What with becoming redundant (as it is so charmingly put by my British friends) and having to take care of particulars concerned with that (filing to get unemployment, figuring out how to roll over my pension into an IRA so I don't get soaked on taxes, buying a machine gun to go shoot up my former office...)
(That's a JOKE. Not a very good one, but still... I don't need the FBI up my ass now on top of everything else. JOKE - JOKE - JOKE!!! OK?)
Anyway, I wasn't planning on writing anything. What just happened to me, however, is so uniquely part of what could only be my own personal hell, I just had to relate it to you.
In Massachusetts, one can file an unemployment claim over the telephone. They ask you to call in on certain days of the week depending upon your Social Security number. My day to call, to file a new claim, is today. So I did.
You all know what I did for a living, right?
I was a voice-over guy who also produced recording sessions for other talents. I edited the voice files made during those other recording sessions. I then added music, formatted the files for various applications, and did other niceties to make them sound really swell. I was (am) damn good at what I do.
The place that fired me after 20+ years mostly specializes in telephone applications. That is, the jobs I voiced and/or produced were usually for clients who would place the finished files on their telephone systems. Then, when people would call in, they would hear those files, that music, etc.
Are you miles ahead of me here?
I just called to file my unemployment claim and the recorded voice on the other end of the phone is from a session I produced, recorded, edited, polished, formatted, and sent off to the unemployment office some 5 or 6 six years ago.
I did an excellent job on it.
I would say, "Shoot me now, please", but it gets better.
I was informed that, due to a high volume of calls, they would be unable to process my claim at this time. The recorded voice requested I call back later and ONCE AGAIN LISTEN TO WHAT I USED TO DO FOR A LIVING BEFORE I FILE FOR MY UNEMPLOYMENT.
What else can I do but laugh? God has a seriously good sense of humor.
(OK, sure, I could cry. But I'm saving that for later in the day when the recorded system tells me, again, to call back some other time.)
Soon, with more bitter stuff.