Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Aghhh! It's a bug!
Oh, wait a minute! I know this bug! Let me introduce you!
Many of you have enjoyed my swell pal Donatello's musings on a variety of subjects. For instance...
How To Acquire A Free Grill
His 15 Favorite Recordings
His 15 Favorite Books
Making Cheap Tuna Sandwiches
Farting (which may occur in conjunction with the cheap tuna sandwiches - just a little truth in advertising - but, in this instance, had to do with the use of a C-PAP machine.)
I regret having to say this, since it means I'm losing someone who writes a couple of pieces for me every few months and saves me the trouble of coming up with an original idea of my own (as if I ever), but Donatello has decided to do the entirely rational thing and start his own blog. You will not, however, find it by doing a search under the name of Donatello, so read on.
Donatello (or, more correctly now, The Artist Formerly Known As Donatello) has decided to use the handle of "Cricket" when authoring his own blog. Why? I suppose the most logical reason would be that it divorces all future writings of his from any connection to his sordid past (that is, me and this blog) but the actual answer is that he envisions himself as a small chirping insect that likes to hang out on hearths in Dickensian Christmas tales. While I hardly advocate encouraging such delusional thinking, it is his blog, so he can call himself whatever he wants.
Oh, I suppose it would be helpful if I gave you the actual address of the blog itself, so you can visit? Yes, it would, so here it is!
Cricket And Porcupine
Whoa! Porcupine? Nobody said anything about a porcupine! Not THIS ONE, I hope! Nah, couldn't be that. It must be some sort of alter-ego (or, if it has something to do with a Catholic superiority complex, altar ego.) Or maybe it's another writer all together? And, if so, what credentials have I been shown to prove that this other scribe is worthy of a plug in such an august (actually, November) journal as this? Or, perhaps more important, how do I know he/she/it won't sue me for besmirching his/her/its name by putting it within this compendium of complete crapitude?
Ah, to hell with it. I'm hungry. I'm gonna go have five or six Pop Tarts and drown my sorrows in carb overload. I'm losing a convenient excuse for me to loaf every few weeks. This sucks. Maybe the porcupine will sue me. At least it would be something I could write about next week. I need all the help I can get now.
Soon, with less Donatello and Cricket and Porcupine and probably Armadillos, too, for all I know.
P.S. No armadillos were harmed during the making of this blog, though God knows I tried.
P.P.S. Hey, I just had a great idea! Why don't all of you people who are intent on giving out awards give them to Cricket instead of me? He probably won't be half as nasty in accepting them as I am!
P.P.P.S. If he is nasty, you can just step on him. I'm a dog. I bite.
P.P.P.P.S. I could go on ad infinitum with these silly postscripts, but your time would be better spent going to visit Cricket (which was the point of this whole thing, so I'll just shut up now.)