Tuesday, November 10, 2009

For Your Kind Consideration

Aghhh! It's a bug!

Oh, wait a minute! I know this bug! Let me introduce you!

Many of you have enjoyed my swell pal Donatello's musings on a variety of subjects. For instance...

How To Acquire A Free Grill

His 15 Favorite Recordings

His 15 Favorite Books

The Economy

Making Cheap Tuna Sandwiches

Farting (which may occur in conjunction with the cheap tuna sandwiches - just a little truth in advertising - but, in this instance, had to do with the use of a C-PAP machine.)

I regret having to say this, since it means I'm losing someone who writes a couple of pieces for me every few months and saves me the trouble of coming up with an original idea of my own (as if I ever), but Donatello has decided to do the entirely rational thing and start his own blog. You will not, however, find it by doing a search under the name of Donatello, so read on.

Donatello (or, more correctly now, The Artist Formerly Known As Donatello) has decided to use the handle of "Cricket" when authoring his own blog. Why? I suppose the most logical reason would be that it divorces all future writings of his from any connection to his sordid past (that is, me and this blog) but the actual answer is that he envisions himself as a small chirping insect that likes to hang out on hearths in Dickensian Christmas tales. While I hardly advocate encouraging such delusional thinking, it is his blog, so he can call himself whatever he wants.

Oh, I suppose it would be helpful if I gave you the actual address of the blog itself, so you can visit? Yes, it would, so here it is!

Cricket And Porcupine

Whoa! Porcupine? Nobody said anything about a porcupine! Not THIS ONE, I hope! Nah, couldn't be that. It must be some sort of alter-ego (or, if it has something to do with a Catholic superiority complex, altar ego.) Or maybe it's another writer all together? And, if so, what credentials have I been shown to prove that this other scribe is worthy of a plug in such an august (actually, November) journal as this? Or, perhaps more important, how do I know he/she/it won't sue me for besmirching his/her/its name by putting it within this compendium of complete crapitude?

Ah, to hell with it. I'm hungry. I'm gonna go have five or six Pop Tarts and drown my sorrows in carb overload. I'm losing a convenient excuse for me to loaf every few weeks. This sucks. Maybe the porcupine will sue me. At least it would be something I could write about next week. I need all the help I can get now.

Soon, with less Donatello and Cricket and Porcupine and probably Armadillos, too, for all I know.

P.S. No armadillos were harmed during the making of this blog, though God knows I tried.

P.P.S. Hey, I just had a great idea! Why don't all of you people who are intent on giving out awards give them to Cricket instead of me? He probably won't be half as nasty in accepting them as I am!

P.P.P.S. If he is nasty, you can just step on him. I'm a dog. I bite.

P.P.P.P.S. I could go on ad infinitum with these silly postscripts, but your time would be better spent going to visit Cricket (which was the point of this whole thing, so I'll just shut up now.)


Michelle H. said...

P.P.P.P.P.S. Why don't we just give you more blog awards on Cricket's behalf since you were so nice to devote your posts to him? That way, you can give them to him, and if there is any backlash, it all goes to you.


I'm evil, I know...

sandy said...

a bug up your ... again I see Sandy haha

Jazz said...

Oh yay, a new blog to follow. I'm gonna have to quit my life and read blogs full time...

As for the awards, we all know you're an old softie and the abuse is just you trying to hide it. :-p

Linda said...

Thanks for the tip. I enjoyed Cricket's posts and look forward to more.

Angie Ledbetter said...

Yeah, what Michelle H. said. :)

Daryl said...

By Jimininy, this sounds like a fun new blog.

lime said...

hey i am deluded to call myself "lime", which as you've pointed out, is somewhat incongruous since i am actually a human not a green citrus. so i figure donatello has at least chosen a member of the animal kingdom to represent himself.

welcome cricket/donatello

Bruce Coltin said...

Fine, I've been Cricketed.

Thumbelina said...

1. They were never your writings and thoughts?
2. Hi! Just recovering from shock.
3. Now need carb overload.... ah, chocolate always in easy reach of computer keyboard.

... ... ... ... ... ...

4. Mmmm. Chocolate.
That's better.
5. I will go visit forthwith because if it is anything like this blog it will be total rubbish and I'll love it.
6. I'll pop back here occasionally on the outside chance something original gets posted.
7. Thank you for writing PPS, PPPS, PPPPS, etc and not PSS, PSSS, PSSSS etc as some have the penchant and drive this perfectionist nuts.
8. What your LGFriend said.
9. Au revoir and adieu. (till next visit.)

Thumbelina said...

Sorry Michelle and Suldog, that should be
...what your DGFriend said...

And it was all going so well up until then. *sigh*

Hilary said...

I'll be happy to read your clever, chirpy friend's blog... and probably the occasional reciprocal guest post from his barky friend.

Ananda girl said...

Great! I enjoy Donatello's posts. This is good news. Of course that means we have to put up with even more of you... that's nice too.

Eddie Bluelights said...

I'll give Jiminy a whirl - sounds another comedian and we can do with more of those.
Going to see right now - whooosh!

Elizabeth Bradley said...

So many bloggers have stopped blogging lately, it's nice to have a new one to visit. Thanks!

Cricket (Donatello) said...

Hey Jim -

Thanks for the huge write-up and plug. Of course, now I'll have to write something worthwhile. Oy.

Buck said...

Along the lines of what Hilary said... I can see value and expedience in a reciprocal posting treaty with Donatello/Cricket.

GreenJello said...

Added to my blogroll! Thanks for the heads up. :)

Sandi McBride said...

Will be visiting him, of course, but don't think that gets you off the hook...we'll still be annoying you!

Stu said...

Weirdest thing - there actually was a Prop 62 in California. It failed to pass, and it had no personal bearing on me, but it did occur while I was living here, so there's that.

Also, I have fond memories of reading Cricket magazine when I was a kid. A wonderful kid-oriented writer's/artist's journal that gave me a feeling of respect. It surely influenced me - I see it in my adult writing and in my parenting.

As for this post, you again have demonstrated (intentionally or otherwise) your agility in mixing gonzo storytelling and the stream of consciousness style made famous by William James. I learn from you with every read.

And if anyone is reading this and does not know me, Sully will vouch for my inability to apple polish. I mean what I say and I say what I mean.

Jeni said...

You know, my friend, I do believe Michelle has the ideal solution to the awards!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Jim for the heads up. [see how I am learning the jargon] I'm adding Cricket to my list but don't think for one minute that you can slope off.