Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Another Frickin' Award



Here it is.



This was given to me by Pat. She's 74 years old, a licensed Lay Eucharistic Minister and Lay Eucharistic Visitor, currently a Parish Administrator and the Treasurer of her local Episcopal church. Given that she probably has a hard time reconciling all of that stuff with coming here and reading my occasionally ribald/blasphemous/cruddy attempts at writing, I am reticent about slicing and dicing her kind offering. However, that's what I do when I get one of these things, so I'm not going to be swayed by hazy notions concerning propriety.

"I Like Your Style!"

Well, I appreciate that compliment. I really do. But...

Look at that... thing. Is that a porcupine? I think it is. And it has some sort of hair beads on the ends of its quills. It's wearing a jumper and sandals. If I saw something like that coming towards me in real life, with its paws outstretched as if to give me a hug, my first reaction would be to run away screaming. I don't suppose that says anything really good about either my manliness or my Christianity, but it's the truth.

I know Pat means well. She's a nice lady. And the fact that a nice lady would be so kind as to give an award of any sort, to an old reprobate like me, should be enough to stop me from being a total weed and spitting at it. But, Damn! I'm hard-pressed to think of a more gruesome bit of cuteness.

In all fairness, I do have to say that I like the bible verse. I believe in the truth of that statement. I'm wracking my brain trying to come up with just exactly what type of gift the pictured marsupial might have, other than the ability to induce type-2 diabetes, but I think the idea is to just acknowledge that such gifts exist in all of us, even if when we put on a jumper and sandals we become the stuff of a bad STP trip.

The rules for this award...

Now there's something that truly rankles me. There are RULES when you get these awards. If you give someone an award, there shouldn't be any rules connected with receiving it. But all of these things come with obligations. Post it in such-and-such a fashion, and link to the person who gave it to you, then pass it on (like a case of the clap) to 16 or 20 other poor souls. There's less pressure involved in winning a Tony (although something like this is usually more indicative of actual popularity, I'll grant you that.)

Anyway, I'm supposed to bestow this upon some other folks. Now, given the level of vituperation I've shown here concerning this, you might logically assume that I wouldn't foist this onto anyone else. You would be wrong, of course. I am nothing if not full of schadenfreude.

(I think it's schadenfreude I'm full of. I know the word begins with an "S", but I don't recall it having quite so many syllables.)

Without any further ado (and we all know how hard that is for me) here are my victims:

Melinda, at From One London To Another. She is a wonderful writer and a truly nice person. The best reason I can think of for me to saddle her with this, however, is that she's too nice to fight back. She's also Canadian. I've never held that against her before, but tough times call for tough measures.

Sween, at Space Monkey Pants. I'm giving it to him because, while he may actually acknowledge getting the award here via a comment (and a funny one at that), he'll likely ignore it otherwise. And he's also Canadian.

Jinksy, at Napple Notes. She's not Canadian, she's English. Close enough.

Brinkbeest, at Brinkbeest In English. She's Dutch. That fact has about as much to do with this as Pauly Shore has to do with civility and good taste, but I've never before given an award to anyone Dutch and I feel I owe that nation something for the many hours of listening pleasure I've received from Focus.

(If it's any consolation to the good folk named above, I would have been more than happy to dump this thing in the laps of nothing but French bloggers, if I knew any. I don't, however, so you're stuck with it.)

And now, having insulted as many people as international law allows me to do in one sitting, I bid you a fondue. You may think that's a malapropism, but when you consider the cheese here, no.

Soon, with more better stuff.

UPDATE: Turns out I actually do know a French blogger. She's only been on my sidebar for, oh, two or three months now. D'Oh! OK, she gets it, too. Hi, Daisy!

UPDATE #2: Here's the payback you get when you try to be oh-so-snarky when given a lovely award by someone nice. I have been informed, by Shammickite, that porcupines are not marsupials. She is right, of course. For some damned reason, I was thinking of a possum while I was writing that bit. Double D'Oh!

UPDATE #3: Of course, Shammickite is a Canadian. She would have to be to point that out, of course. And, now, she has also won the award. Enjoy!


37 comments:

jinksy said...

The tears of laughter are rolling down my face even as I write YOU ARE THE GREATEST, and have expressed my feelings to a 'T' ( nothing to do with that English beverage which I loathe, by the way). But the day you see an 'award' on my blog, pigs will fly, though I accept them graciously off screen.

jinksy said...

I'm still laughing, and feel the need to go back and read all you vituperativeness a second time...

demnerl says the word verification

A Woman Of No Importance said...

Such a hoot, Suldog! 'like a case of the clap' - how true! And, bible-bashing porcupines are another beast entirely, non?!

Carolina said...

Unfortunately for you: I CAN SWIM!

But fortunately for you: I am the kind of person that craves acknowledgement and kindness and all that sort of thing, so I'm very proud to accept the gruwelijke mierzoete award and will even put it on my blog. And I choose to see it as an act of kindness and will burden some other bloggers with this afzichtelijke egelachtige geval and hope they will like it. Too, I mean ;-)

Thank you! And if the weather gets a bit better I would stay away from the Canadian coast if I were you!
Blub!

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

Suldog! Honey-chile, you have done me proud! A porcupine with quills in its hair! LOL However, you may have a point(pun intended.)

I could hardly wait to read your response, and am not disappointed in any way. I *do* like your style! I think I'll send you the "You Made My Day" award. On second thought, that would be overkill!

Word verification for this comment is "gacrilia." That's almost as bad as a case of cla*.

Jazz said...

So basically, the idea behind these awards is that they'll make it around the blogosphere until everyone has one.

Hmmmm.

Oh and that's one hell of a saccharine looking award.

Jeni said...

Frankly, I do believe that award given to you is extremely appropriate -especially because of the Bible verse because you, my friend, truly are "One of a kind!" I don't know if I say that and am thankful that there is only one like you -maybe so -but anyway, you fill the bill there perfectly!
Peace!

GreenJello said...

To heck with the award (though your vent is greatly appreciated!).

I want to know if your trivial brain got you a callback for Jeopardy.

lime said...

"gruesome bit of cuteness" i do love that particular turn of phrase!

Buck said...

You are MUCH more diplomatic... not to mention funny... in this space than I am. It takes real talent to whack someone/anyone about something stupid and make 'em feel GOOD about it. I doff my hat...

Sandi McBride said...

You're too funny...just take the freakin' award and get used to the fact that people like you...'k?
Sandi
ps
word verification is sense...uhhuh...that's what I'm making....sense

Meredith Teagarden said...

Oh my gosh, giving you an award is SO very worth reading how you will receive it! Wish I had passed one to you!

Shrinky said...

Ah, accepted with your usual aplomb and grace I see. I do so love that you express your gratitiude in the fluent eloquence which most of us all so, so wish to, but barely muster up the balls to actually deliver it in.

(Wink.)

Hilary said...

Yup, you're one of a kind, alright. I'm not sure what kind exactly, but you always manage to make me laugh. And nothing could be kinder than that.

Michelle H. said...

This award is definitely YOU, my light gray friend!

Jenn said...

Until I read your description I thought it was an Earthy crunchy Rastafarian porcupine what with the beads & sandals and such. Nice.

Jane! said...

I admire your seeing it through. That whole award business gets my brain too twisted... getting the dumb thing to show up on my blog and following the rules and picking people without making other people feel bad and giving the linky love.... See? Now I have to go lay down.
But congrats, anyway.

Nana Net said...

Aw, Sul, I about spit my coffee out when I saw this award. Got to admit though you truly are deserving of it. Because I have not met anyone quite like you. So therefore you are "One of a Kind!"
Thanks for the laughter put into my day today!

Shammickite said...

FYI porcupines are NOT marsupials.

Michael Leggett said...

As Always, Jim:

"I Love Your Style"

Shammickite said...

WOW all I had to do was make a 5 word comment (if you count FYI as a word, or perhaps it's 3 words... whatever) and the great Suldog has not only updated his post, he has admitted he was wrong, and given me an award!!! Truly incredible.

Andrea said...

I was laughing out loud reading this!! So glad I discovered your blog! Really enjoyed my time here today. :)

Melinda said...

Thanks for the award (despite it's overdose of saccarinity - yes that's a word now - it's always nice to be thought of!)
Oh, and thanks also for putting the image of a crazy porcupine chasing me around for a hug into my brain right before bedtime.
Now I guess I better write a blog post worthy of this honour...

friday18 said...

Remind me never to give you an award! I did nominate you for a boggie, but apparently it didn't go anywhere.

On a good note, I'm back to blogging somewhat more frequently. Of course, last year, I only blogged 7 times, and now I've blogged 7 times in the past two weeks.

DivineMissB said...

schadenfreude it is. Alot of syllables, but you know those Germans. :)

Michael Leggett said...

Roger Clemens, previously in George Steinbrenner's and Suzyn Waldman's BAWX, is now in a Dunk Tank of his own:

My Latest one is up.

lime said...

in other news...you remember that scenarios with a rubber chicken from last week or so? your response has been netered in a contest at my place. ;)

Carolina said...

Wasn't Thijs van Leer in Focus?

Suldog said...

Friday - Glad you're back! I've put the link to your place back on the sidebar.

Suldog said...

Carolina - Yes, he was. May still be, as I heard something about them reuniting. Great keyboardist/flautist.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

your appreciation knows no bounds..LOL!!

Angie Ledbetter said...

You'll have to rent out cyber blog space soon to house all your bling and awardage!

Braja said...

Yep: ugly :)

Janet said...

I thought hedgehog when I first saw it. Then I started having flashbacks to the Valentines of 2nd grade. But all was well again when I read your schadenfreude line, and laughed out loud.

Today's word verification is
hordshe. Go ahead, say it out loud fast . . .

Woman in a Window said...

Suldog, and after all that you turn around and pass it on? This is a good thing? probably.

Congratulations on your pawing porcupine!

Daisy said...

Wowowow thank you so much for this, Suldog- hilarious post and awesome award, received with thanks!! D

Absolut Ruiness said...

At first i thought of quoting some of the most tear(s-of-extreme-joyousness)jerkers that you wrote but then there were just too many of them...too many in the same happy way as when you have too many gems in your packet. Multi-coloured choclate filled insanely fun gems...i think im drifting off to food. But that is exactly what this post made me think of. Tonnes and tonnes of gems all for my self. Il keep coming back to this. Thanks!