Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Take Two





[This is me a million years ago. Yes, I had hair and I'm wearing a tuxedo. Very dashing. What you don't know is that I'm naked from the waist down.]

You all seemed to enjoy the vibrator outtakes so much, I've decided to post some more. You'll find the link below.

First, though, I need you to remember something. Flubs are a part of every announcer's repertoire. There isn't a voice-over person, newsreader, actor, or any other sort of talent, who hasn't made a mistake at some time or another. Please be cognizant of the fact that if you had someone recording every bit of your work, you might occasionally come across as silly, too. The examples you'll hear were culled from many hundreds of hours of work. The percentage of good work to not-so-good is amazingly high, all things considered.

And, now that I've covered my ass, I'll tell you that all of these are my outtakes. I was going to post a whole bunch of stuff from various talents, and include myself in the mix, but I decided that I didn't have any right to embarrass others without asking them first and I'm feeling too lazy right now to be running around getting all sorts of permissions.

One thing I should explain, before you listen, is that you'll hear an awful lot of eructation. That is, burps. A little-known secret concerning announcers is that we sometimes tend to swallow a lot of air. I'm not sure of the physics behind it, but we do. Just keep in mind that if we ever met in person, I wouldn't be nearly so gassy.

(This should be safe for work, as I've "beeped" any swears.)

Take Two!

Soon, with more better stuff.


27 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's disgusting! I never heard Don LaFontaine ever make those sounds.

Suldog said...

That's because he's dead. If he were still alive, he'd be making them, believe me.

lime said...

oh that was hilarious. i had to go back and listen to a few things i missed because i was laughing too hard to hear them.

when i was in college i had to record a high school science text book for a visually impaired student. lordy, if i didn't have some things i stumbled over multiple times. i don't remember belching a lot but yawning constantly yes.

as for the eructational humor, i cracked up at that too. more evidence of my sense of humor being on par with the average adolescent male.

true story, one time when the first limelette was about 3 or 4 we had dinner at my dad's house. she let out a huge burp at the table. i gently asked her, "what do you say, sweetie?" she smiled broadly and announced proudly, "sounds like grampop!" then we had drinks streaming out noses and partially chewed bits of food being spewed as guffaws overtook us all....good times, good times....

Buck said...

So... the barking dog... was that at home, or in the work place? I've read one can take one's dogs to work at Google and other "enlightened" places of bid'niz, but haven't ever encountered that practice in real life. Except at junk yards and such, of course.

You have the perfect voice for this line of work, Jim. Which is why you do what you do, right? Me: Blessed with an immediate grasp of the obvious.

Suldog said...

To answer Buck's question: The barking dogs were, indeed, at the workplace.

The owner of our company has two swell little dogs. They aren't always in the office, but when his wife has to go out of town, or some other situation arises wherein the dogs would be home alone, he brings them into the office.

They're swell dogs, but they are a bit barky. And even through the soundproofing in a recording studio, the barks are fairly clear. I raised the levels on the barks, so that you could hear them clearly in the outtakes, but even at original volume, the take was ruined.

Michelle H. said...

Wow! Burping and dogs barking. I'm surprised you can get anything done. BTW, what was the most number of takes you have every done in one sitting?

Angie Ledbetter said...

LOL on first 2 comments. Ya just never know what you're gonna see or read here! What a good gumbo you've cooked up, Suldawg.

Suldog said...

Michelle - Seriously, I would assume the most takes I've ever done to get a read as I want it might have been 6 or 7. I'll skip the modesty and tell you I'm a good "cold reader"; a person who can do a decent first take without having looked through the script before. Usually, the reason for extra takes will be because I listened back to the first take and wasn't pleased with inflection or emotion. I rarely just stumble over a word or phrase (although you wouldn't know that from these examples!)

Jeni said...

The more I read of your stuff, the more I love your humor! Keep it coming. (I'll have to make sure to play the "take two" thing for my son when he gets home this weekend. He loves to belch as often as he can. Especially when he's talking on the phone to me.

Janet said...

I'll have to wait until tonight to listen to this. Little pitchers and all . . .back later.

Hilary said...

What a fun glimpse at what you do. Your comment are hilarious. Thanks for sharing these. Looking forward to the others if you decide to secure permission.

Christina LMT said...

"Don't eat the baby!"
Hilarious! Even the burping.

DJ Big Mick said...

Just to clarify for everyone, Jim records these in a studio *by himself* which makes his editorial comments even funnier. When you flub up and there's nobody to hear it, but you feel compelled to make a comment anyway... that says something about you. Well it actually says a few things about you, but the one I'm taking away here is "what a great sense of humor" (and not "what a psycho"). Thanks for these dude, you are bringing back some memories. BTW, you have my permission to share any of my outtakes, but they are few and far between (not because I'm better than anyone, but because I tended to delete them rather than archive them).

Carolina said...

Hehehehe, that was entertainment of the highest standard! Brought to you by Burpin' Jim Suldog himself. Have you no shame?
LOL

Sandi McBride said...

I laughed my ASS off...now why the bleep didn't bleep blogger bleep bleep that?
Sandi

Dr.John said...

I assume that most of these never were used but you made new copy in their place.
I preached three sermons every weekend for forty years. When I made a mistake everybody got to hear it. We didn't even correct the video broadcasts that we did for five of those years.

Moannie said...

I just knew you would have a deep brown voice [hope no one is going to accuse me of racism but deep brown voices are low and seductive as opposed to high treble pink voices] I am concerned as to your state of dyspepsia.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

This is so insightful, we would never hear outtakes like these thanks a bunch for the belly(s) laugh...great stuff

Cath said...

And now I know what you sound like! I now would know that voice anywhere...
Actually, I reckon if I dialled for a pizza, or a prescription I might hear you . Or your burps...

Hilarious. Thanks for the bleeps. Seriously. I could enjoy it then and it was good! Especially the self editing...

Jenn said...

I love how he never once, even in his bloopers, burps and mistakes, never broke his super duper announcer voice. This is hilarious. Thanks for humanizing all those "perfect" voices for us, I'll be laughing all day now.

Jenn said...

Wait a minute, I just caught onto the fact that this is you...omg now I'm laughing ever more!!! Fantastic lol

AliP said...

At last a voice to go with the words. Very mellow and...burpy. Too much beer before the studio? ;Op
Loved it Sully!

Jazz said...

I loved it! Oh, and remember when I told you next time I got an award, it was yours? There's an award waiting for you at my blog...

FrankandMary said...

Eructation. That will be my new word for the day. So much more refined than my usual burps.
~Mary

GreenJello said...

To laugh your ass off, press 6.

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

You were/are a handsome devil, with a voice (burps excluded) to match! :) Is that also a bit of beard I see behind the microphone?

Woman in a Window said...

Ah shit Suldog, that is so not you. You might think it is, but it's not. I'm pretty sure I know what you sound like and that's not you. Whoever that is though, funny as shit! (Not that shit is really all that funny.)