Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Funniest Production I Have Ever Worked On



Or, alternately, The World's Longest Double Entendre.

This is absolutely 100% not phony.

There is this company called VIBCO. They are a wonderful manufacturer of tools and machines used in the construction industry. They are still in our files as a client, although the last production they did with us was quite a few years back. In any case, their main product line consists of vibrators.

Now, if you have as dirty a mind as I do - and I'm fairly sure that's the case - your first thought, when you heard the word "vibrator", was not about some sort of very useful construction equipment. It was about the sort of tool used to pleasure oneself.

With the foregoing as background, I ask you to click onto the link below. It will take you to a place where you can hear some semi-unedited audio from the first recording session I supervised for this client. Remember, they sell perfectly legitimate machinery and tools for use in the construction industry. However, if you bring your dirty mind along...

(By the way, the voice-over talents on the production did an entirely admirable job. They are both consummate professionals. One of them is a regular reader here, and he might like to add his own thoughts concerning this. The fact that one of them broke up a few times during the read is almost entirely due to the fact that I was behind the control board, off-mic, breaking up continually as I heard this stuff emanating from a woman who was desperately trying to keep a straight face.)

LISTEN

Soon, with more better stuff.


41 comments:

AliP said...

Heh heh...

Janet said...

Of course, "the world's longest double entendre" struck me as rather a double entendre itself. But I do have a thoroughly dirty mind. It's that fundamentalist background.

Carol said...

This is one of the funniest things I've heard. I'm impressed that both of them stayed as serious as they did! You couldn't have made that up if you WANTED to it! LOL!

Shrinky said...

Well, I'm sold! Sign me up for the "Big Bertha Dump", I'll even send the pictures requested for that $ reward (but only after the personal demonstraion..)

I haven't laughed so much in years, Jim, this has to be the funniest post I've ever read. Think I need to have a lie down in a darkened room now..

Rhea said...

That was fun. Especially hearing them crack up. We never get to hear outtakes like that.

Jenn said...

OMG...return after the 10 day free trial.

Surface mounting...alternate way of using Vibco...send a picture...limited to imagination..demonstrations...lubricator...

*snicker*

jinksy said...

I see you have got the entire inhabitants of Blogland shaking - er- I mean vibrating?

Jeni said...

Most definitely, this was a really good laugh! "Pneumatic - no lubricator needed" etc. -just too doggone funny the whole way through even knowing what the product really is for, the mind just can't resist going to other avenues while listening to this!

Carolina said...

And NO lubricant needed? I can only say: WOW!

Shrinky's comment cracked me up again, hahahahahaha, gawd, let me catch my breath..... phew

I'd love to work in their sales department.

Thank you Jim for sharing a fun day at the office with us ;-)

T said...

LOL, OMG that is so funny! So are many of the comments. Hee Hee!

Jazz said...

Me? I want a 10-day trial of the Big Bertha vibrator!

DJ Big Mick said...

OK, I was the male voice and while I'd love to say I could read this with a straight face, Jim played my edits, not my raw voice files. This was one of the hardest scripts (no pun intended) I have ever had to read, but boy was it fun! Jim, you should see if you could dig up the old outtake reel. That was some good clean fun!

GreenJello said...

"Soon with more better stuff"?

How are you gonna top THIS post? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Karen said...

Hilarious!

Gennasus said...

"personal demonstration and 10 day free trial"

The mind boggles!!

Buck said...

OMG. OMFG!! "15,000 lbs of pressure!" "Send us a photo and you can win $25!" LOLOLOL!!!

OK, Jim. There simply AIN'T "more better stuff." NO way. No how.

phlegmfatale said...

You have just achieved godlike status in my book.

Mrs. C. said...

For me, the only thing scarier than hearing a vibrator being referred to in terms of "horsepower" was the choice of all steel or cast iron construction....

My mind is normally much cleaner but I spent the morning subbing in 6th grade and it must have rubbed off on me.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

Hey suldogmy picture is in the post... Big bertha performs well...but its not up to srcatch, I want my money back!!!

btw ..did you say NO lubrictant required...WRONG...very noisey too!!!

btw..is that your voice????

Sarah said...

Wow, they weigh as little as 48 pounds?!

I'm still wondering how they were able to stay composed for so long.

Cath said...

Bwahahahahaha!

Chris said...

Glad to hear that they provide spare parts. You just never know, do you? Great stuff, Sully.

Janet said...

Ok I had to wait until now to listen to it so the kids wouldn't see me hyperventilating on the floor.
Big Bertha and Bulldog nearly killed me.

Hilary said...

That's just hilarious. I could just picture you cracking up behind the scenes. That poor woman!

Moannie said...

I am not a prety sight with mucous spurting from facial orifices. Priceless Suldog! There can be no more better stuff than this...oh dear!

Suldog said...

FF&F:

Not my voice. If you'll go up a few comments from your own, the voice talent who worked on that made a comment of his own.

lime said...

i
am
dying

i need a versatile explosion proof vibrator i can plug into my truck so i can take it anywhere. i'd also like to hear about some of the novel ways to use these things. i am soooo glad i can get a 10 day free trial and that my satisfaction is guaranteed.

absolutely hilarious. that the voice talents could do this at all is testament to their professionalism. thanks for the morning's guffaw.

Michelle H. said...

Oh...wow!

Sharfa said...

Dear Gawd in Heaven - I think I peed my pants!

Sign me up for one of those cast iron puppies!

Please, if you can find DJ Big Micks unedited version - please post it!

That was the funniest thing I've heard in a loooong time.

Rich said...

My first thought was construction equipment, really.

Woman in a Window said...

Suldog, how could that NOT be funny! Hell, they read well though. Impressive.

Michael said...

We used to use a long heavy rubber tube on the end of a jackhammer to knock air pockets out of concrete forms. It was referred to, albeit lovingly, as a "donkey dick."

In the old days, did vibrators have a rip chord?

Shammickite said...

Bet they giggled about that for a couple of weeks!

John-Michael said...

Thirty-five hundred pounds of ball vibration sounds sounds unbearably excruciating! Masochism to the maximundo!

Elo said...

hi!
I just read your comment on my blog about piercing and I thank you. You made me chukkle!!
Anyway... Thank you for popping by and I shall come to see yours often too!
Elo (from France!)

Meredith Teagarden (The Things We Carried) said...

Thank you so much for you kind words at my blog. That they were given from one of my favorite writers was all the more meaningful.

I have often read your posts aloud to a couple of my friends and we have laughed so hard I could barely finish reading.

The poor woman attempting to maintain her poise and dignity as she read, with you there egging on the entire awkward situation... Seeing how you write, I can only imagine you in person!

Judi FitzPatrick said...

Can't stop laughing! Thanks, Judi

Chuck said...

Oh my God that was funny. I usually don't have tears in my eyes after listening to internet audio...this was the exception.

Goody said...

Mr Frank Zappa was also amazed with one of gods greatest creations...the vibrator, and included it in many compositions.

A Woman Of No Importance said...

So, so funny, Suldog - Incredible - And that the folk writing the script did not realise how many double entendre possibilities there were is just mind-boggling! Thank you for sharing the laughs - Always!

Christina LMT said...

Sorry I came late to the party, but better late than never (school has been keeping me rather busy...)

Wow. This was absolutely fantastic! My daughter and I laughed so hard, and she kept miming banging her head against the wall...(she's 17, so she knows what a vibrator is...NOT from personal experience!)

"For working in tight places..."

*LOL*!!