Wednesday, September 03, 2008
MY WIFE is going out of town for a couple of days. She’ll be visiting with my brother-in-law in New York. Here are my plans for the upcoming weekend while she’s away:
1) Watch some football.
2) Eat food that goes well with football.
That’s about it.
Now, I’ve got to be truthful with you. By this time, I had expected to have a whole bunch of interesting photographs of naked women come to me via the U. S. mails. Some of my time during this weekend would have been filled with admiring those photographs. It seems, however, that all of you women were lying when you told me you were sending me photographs of yourself naked. I must say, your blatant disregard for the truth has diminished my respect for humanity as a whole.
Since I don’t have any actual photographs, I’ll now have to make up some in my head.
(You think me having an actual photograph of you could be any worse than what I can make up? Please! You have no idea concerning the depths of depravity available inside of my skull. If you feel itchy anytime this weekend, now you know why.)
Be that as it may – and I’m betting you now wish it wasn’t – the highlight of my weekend will probably come from attending the Boston College vs. Georgia Tech football game with my cousin, David. We’ll have a brew before the game; some hideously-bad-for-us food during it; and maybe BC will actually win the game itself and make us happy. I hope so.
In the meantime, if any of you women are feeling guilty about letting me down, and you’re within walking/driving/flying distance of Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts, the game should be over by 3:15. If you show up naked at Gate B of Alumni Stadium, I’d consider that more than enough to make up for not having sent the photos. Thank you.
Soon, with more perverted stuff.