Thursday, April 05, 2007
It’s Wednesday night, April 4th, and it’s snowing outside.
(This is better than it snowing inside, but just barely.)
I am cooking a pot of macaroni and tomatoes. This is despite the fact that I gave up flour products (as well as dairy) for Lent. I figure if God isn’t going to play by the rules, giving us a snowstorm in APRIL, then I can have a night off, too.
Actually, I’m breaking my fast because of three things:
1 – I’m freakin’ hungry.
2 – I’m freakin’ cold.
3 – I freakin’ reached my goal of weighing 180 before the softball season.
When I had the first thought about having the macaroni, which was in my car on the way home from work in a SNOWSTORM IN APRIL, I decided that I would weigh myself before I started cooking. If I still weighed 181, which is what I weighed when I went to work this morning – when it wasn’t snowing – I would still be a good boy and have gefilte fish and schav. However, if I weighed 180 or less, I was damned well going to have the macaroni.
I am a somewhat svelte 180, so over the lips and through the gums, look out stomach, here it comes.
Sheesh. What a rebel. Macaroni. You’d think I’d go out and buy a box of Mallomars and a gallon of chocolate milk to wash them down with and whip up some chocolate mousse for dessert, and maybe have cream cheese and a couple boxes of saltines for a snack and then chocolate chip cookies just for shits and giggles. Nah. Macaroni and plain tomatoes. I'm the rebel without a sauce.
Is that Judas Priest I hear playing in the background? Breakin’ the law! Breakin’ the law! I think I’ll go tear the tag off of my mattress after dinner. Woo-Hoo!
Enough of this crap. The timer just went off. See you tomorrow.