A Simple Political Solution

I admit what I’m about to say will sound absurdly idiotic at first blush, but so did the idea of moldy bread being a cure for a number of hideous ailments, so hear me out.

I think President Obama should nominate Donald Trump to fill the Supreme Court vacancy left by the death of Antonin Scalia.

Republicans in the senate have stated they will not consider anyone nominated by the lame-duck Obama. By nominating Trump, the president will force the Republicans to act. There is nothing more desired, by the Republican establishment, than to keep Donald Trump as far away as possible from the presidential nomination. Given a chance to sidetrack him somewhere else, wouldn’t they jump at it? Granted, having Donald Trump sitting on the high court isn’t what even a single one of them would have considered a pleasant proposition a few months ago, but now it may seem a reasonable alternative. At least as a justice he’ll only be one of nine and the other eight justices could keep him in check.

Meanwhile, Obama would not only get points for a vicious sense of humor, but Hillary Clinton would be spared having to get on a stage with Trump. Despite polls showing Clinton beating Trump in November, those have been taken before they’ve faced each other in debate. Nothing that has happened during this campaign season filled with defeat after defeat of common sense could lead me to believe the vicious attacks he’d level at Hillary would do anything other than boost his popularity.

As for Trump himself, he’s said that one of the best reasons to vote for him would be so that he could appoint excellent Supreme Court justices. What successor to Scalia could possibly be better, in his own mind, than himself?

If you think having Donald Trump seated on the highest court in the land would be worse than a gun-toting wild west Republican convention in Cleveland, I have to think you’re not considering the most likely outcome of all this, i.e., he’d be odds-on to do something hideous enough to be the first justice impeached since Samuel Chase in 1805 and thus, to the delight of all involved, sent packing back to New York, possibly even before the November general elections.

Whatever the outcome, I would love to read what he had to say the first time he was allowed to write a majority opinion.

“This is a huge decision. Huge! Let me tell you, this court is winning so much, we’re getting tired of winning. We’re making America great again, believe me. I’m making good deals here. I told Little Sonia she should get on board – even Lying Clarence agreed with me on this one – so let me tell you, this was a no-brainer. If this was like the old days, I would have put Roberts out of here on a stretcher. He knows my IQ is one of the highest and I’m a very smart guy. I would also like to add I look damn good in a black robe and I guarantee you there’s no problem underneath it.”

Of course, every opinion would read more-or-less the same since that’s pretty much the entirety of his spiel.

Well, either you agree this is a genius idea or you think it’s the most crackpot thing you’ve heard in this entirely crackpot election year. If you like it, I thank you. If not, I ask you to please check out today’s date.

Soon, with more better stuff.