Monday, September 19, 2011

The Re-Blog

Ugh. MY WIFE has been sick for the past 10 days or maybe two weeks. We were both thinking it was some sort of hideously virulent bronchitis - she's been known to have bouts of it - but now I'm feeling like crap, too. I think maybe we both have some sort of yucky combination cold/flu thing. If I'm in for the same length of time she's had it, and the same sort of coughing, etc., there won't be any vacation for either of us this year. We'll be using all of our remaining time as sick days.

That sucks, but it could be worse. I've got three relatives with varying stages of cancer. That tends to put things into perspective. In deference to their privacy, no names will be given. If you're willing to say a prayer for general well-being within my family, however, it would be appreciated.

Meanwhile, I feel about as much like writing as I feel like eating a big greasy pork chop.

(Bad idea to think of similes right now. My stomach is flopping over on its side from that one.)

So, since I may be out of action for a while, here's something to fill your time.

I have been chosen by A Blogful Of Boredom to do something called a Re-Blog Bloggity Blog-Blog Bloggeriffical Blogulousness Challenge (or something like that.) Anyway, the idea is to give you links to seven of my old blog postings. Well, heck, I'm likely to do that on any regular old day, so why not now?

The challenge, such as it is, consists in coming up with seven blog postings that fit into the following categories:

1 - My most beautiful post
2 - My most popular post
3 - My most controversial post
4 - My most helpful post
5 - A post whose success surprised me
6 - A post I feel didn’t get the attention it deserved
7 - The post of which I am most proud

After I've provided links and explanatory material concerning all seven (and, presumably, after you've visited each one and said, "Most kind and gracious God! How did I ever miss these gems when they first made an appearance? I could have swum a literary ocean filled with inestimable beauty, truth, and awesome wonder, yet I unknowingly wallowed in a mud puddle until now!") I then get to choose five among you to be human sacrifices in the volcano of my quest to increase readership and, when you have overwhelming pangs of guilt and decide you'll do it, even though you don't have enough time to take a good poop these days, you get to pass it on to five more unwitting dopes, like some virulent form of chlamydia, until everyone on the internet has received $35,000,000 from Bill Gates.

Here are my seven:

My most beautiful post

Beauty is, of course, in the eye of the beholder. I find many kinds of pornography quite beautiful. Others find those same books and films about as fun as a rectal examination performed with a grappling hook (which, in case you're wondering, does not fall within the sort of porno I would like.) Anyway, here is something I wrote and which I think fits the category. Your mileage may vary. If so, you're a jerk.

The Gift

My most popular post

There are two ways one can choose this: by number of hits on a specific page or by number of complimentary comments. I think I'll take the complimentary comments. The one with the most hits over the lifetime of this blog has nothing to do with the actual subject matter, I'm afraid. It is the title that draws folks in. They mostly leave disappointed, as I'm sure you will.

Wile E. Coyote Catches Roadrunner, Eats Him

So, we'll go with this paen to masturbation, instead.

What I Learned In High School

My most controversial post

The above could have qualified, but I have an easier choice.

Very few of my posts have received either flames or arguments, no matter how much they may have deserved them. This one, wherein I discussed my past life as a small-time drug dealer, and my absolute non-guilt about same, touched a couple of raw nerves. I am so very thankful for my readers, though. Even when possibly complaining about something I've written, they are respectful and kind, mostly. Whatever mild flames I received on this one were given via private e-mail, and even then there was civil discourse all around.

Often Dazed, Rarely Confused

My most helpful post

Helpful? Me? I'm truly not sure if I've been helpful, at least in the way I suppose this is meant. I mean, I may have inadvertently given someone some sort of information that he or she found useful at some point, but I haven't been one to put up posts specifically to... Oh, hey, wait a minute! This one comes to mind...

Everything Gets Better

Yeah, I'd like to think that qualifies.

A post whose success surprised me

I expect every damn post to become something that people tell their friends about and about which their friends thank them in return. Asking me to point out ONE post I was surprised about being a success is sort of like asking Colonel Sanders to name his favorite chicken wing. Nevertheless, I'll choose this one because it was the first to garner me a mention outside of bloggerville (it was mentioned in The Boston Globe upon its original publication, but I'm linking to the most previous version I've published here since it contains a small update I think has some importance.)

Return To Caddy Road

A post I feel didn’t get the attention it deserved

And, referring you back to my preface to the choice immediately above this one, the answer here would have to be, "Every Damn One Of Them!"

Let's go with this...

A Big Fat Bunch Of Lies

No good reason for picking this, except I think it's funny, and, to tell you the truth, when I honestly go back through my past postings and look at the number of comments, everything seems about right. I've got no complaints.

The post of which I am most proud

I guess I'll have to go with this one:

A Day (5 Of Them, Actually - All Saturdays) In The Life

The story of my life, condensed.


And now, I get to name five of you poor souls to do what I've just done (that is, waste everybody's time.) I choose...



Barbara (Long Hollow)

The View From This End (Moannie)


Running In The Yard Next Door (Craig)

You delightful writers may take up the challenge or not, as you see fit. If you don't see fit to do it, I'll be over to your place with an axe (after I get out of my sickbed.)

Soon (relatively speaking), With More Better Stuff


Mrs. C. said...

SO, when you went back to class on that special day did you have to get a tardy slip? And if so, what was your excuse? (the teacher in me has to ask...)

Craig said...

Wow. . . this is kinda almost like an award, isn't it? I'm, uh, honored. (Cue the whiny teenager-voice: "You always make me WORK!!")

Dang it, anyway! I was just on my way to take a poop, and now I've got to go and sift thru 200-some posts to even see which of them might fit into these categories, before I even decide which ones are the best ('cuz, you know, us engineers are all anal and earnest about doing stuff the right way, and all. . .)

But, I s'pose I've got nothing to complain about; half of my new posts these days are triggered by one of your posts, anyway. . .

Just for the sake of saying so, tho. . . I haven't got a single post that even remotely touches on the topic of masturbation, my own or anyone else's (I might've had one that sorta, kinda remotely did, back in the day, but my wife asked me to take it down. . .)

(But I tip my hat to Mrs. C above, for provoking the mental image of HS boys asking their teachers for masturbation passes. . .)

Craig said...

Hope you and YOUR WIFE are feeling better soon, btw (I'm on the tail end of one of those colds that starts out as a nose-faucet and slowly morphs into a sore throat, then a snoot full of rubber cement, then one of those if-I-take-even-a-mildly-deep-breath-I-break-into-a-10-minute-coughing-jag things. . .)

Craig said...

And what makes you think I've even got 5 readers (especially if I'm supposed to pick someone who you didn't pick already)?

Jackie said...

Jim...Ten days! I'm so sorry that your wife has been sick...and for such a long period. I do hope that you get well very soon. I will pray for your family members with cancer and will pray for you and your wife. Hopefully, you will both get vacation time together.
Hugs from Jackie

silly rabbit said...

Ha! I remembered all of these. That's pretty good for an old bat like me, so excuse me while I pat myself on the back at your expense.
Having done that... all were great reads. I enjoyed revisiting them.
BTW, I must say that the idea of the Roadrunner getting his just desserts still tickles me plenty.

messymimi said...

Hope you both feel better soon, and i'll be back soon to follow those links.

Hilary said...

I do remember most of these .. especially "The Gift." That was such a beautiful post.

Sorry to hear that you've both been feeling poorly and I hope that you're on the mend before too long.

Sending best thoughts for your ill family members also.

Anonymous said...

I just emailed you but I'll repeat it here - I'm actually very flattered that you chose me for this one, especially in such wonderful company! I think it'll be fun to look back over those posts. Maybe.
I look forward to reading the posts you listed - I remember the one about Saturdays and loved it. Good choice.
Hope you and YOUR WIFE start feeling better and I've already said a prayer for your relatives. It does put it into perspective, doesn't it?

Jeni said...

I remembered reading a couple of those posts but strangely enough, don't remember the one that totally cracked me up tonight. I'm sure you've already figured out which post that was! (You are one wild and crazy guy, for sure!)
What I'd like to know though is how do you find the time to sift through the vast assortment of posts you've done to decide on which one to re-post for those selected categories? It would take me forever just to go through my posts and to try to determine one that would fit for any of those categories? I'd forget which one out-ranked the others before even getting out of the starting gate but mainly I'd end up with nothing in any category because really, all I write is generally just discombobulated, rambling drivel -hence, the very apt name for my blog!
Now, as to you and the wife being on the sickly side at the moment, for your sake, I hope to high heavens that the horrid cold I got a year ago this month that hung on, seemingly almost forever -at least till Christmas last year -hasn't finally meandered up your way! If so, the best advice I can give then -besides a bit of a prayer that you DON'T get that -is stock up on Walmart's own brand, Equate Couth/Cold Syrup/Medication. It's just as good as the brand name junk and only costs about half as much and with the length of time involved in recovery from this plague, you'll need a way to save a few coins someplace so it may as well be on the drugs! Peace and do feel better soon -both of you!

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Michelle H. said...

Ah, read them all and they are fine choosings. I do hope you get well soon, MLGF. Best healthful wishes to all of your family.

Anonymous said...

A Day in the Life -- absolutely beautiful. I love the color picture of you at 10; it captures the essence of your spirit...hurling yourself at life...headlong & bright-eyed.

Wishing good health to you and yours. May your blog live long and prosper.

Jenny Woolf said...

These are really interesting posts. I found the Caddy Road one involved me the most, but I was intrigued by the 5 Saturdays, that stop-frame life story - amazing!

Daryl said...

Smells a lot like an award to me ... hope you and Your Wife are better soon ... keep those germs to yourself buster.

Judi FitzPatrick said...

Don't have time, I'm sorry to say, to read all the old posts. Just wanted to stay long enough to send healing vibes to you and YOUR WIFE. Hopefully this means you'll be healthy all winter!
Peace, Judi

Maggie May said...

Hope you are both feeling very much better in the soonest possible time.
I enjoy all your funny posts...... especially the non sport ones!
I like the ones when you describe your youth and the hard times you've had and recovered from & how your wife rescued you! (Am I imagining all that?) If so blame my advanced years!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Moannie said...

Oh boy! This is serious stuff; tagged by the Suldog. And just as I'm tying to kick the ciggie habit...
Just you two lovebirds get better and I'll do my best. XXX

i beati said...

That passed through my body and out every orifice. Since my immune system is weak I get everything Durn..revitalize - regroup- and return soon Sandy

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

I hope you're feeling better soon and are back with, "more stuff."

Craig said...

Just for the record, my Re-Blog is up. . .

Anonymous said...

I finally posted my "Re-Blog"!