Self-Portraits Of The World's Nicest People

This is MY WIFE. Yes, apparently I married a toilet brush.

I asked MY WIFE to contribute a drawing to this collection and that's what she drew. I think she was having some self-image issues this weekend. She said her hair looked like it belonged on a scrub brush, so that's why she drew herself that way.

I told her that I didn't want to publish a sketch of a toilet scrubber that supposedly resembled MY WIFE. I said that I wanted a picture of her as she really looks. So, she drew me this:

Yup. She morphed herself from a toilet brush into a mushroom.

Now, you've got to understand something. I am one sucky artist. All weekend I was attempting to do a drawing of myself. As I'd complete one that I thought might resemble me, I'd bring it to MY WIFE for a critique. Every time I did so, she said it didn't look like me. So, I'd go off and try again. And again. And yet again. All in all, I probably did about thirty sketches of myself.

After she drew herself as a mushroom, I decided that her critiques no longer counted. Whatever I thought might look like me was good enough. I mean, am I going to ask a beautiful woman who feels that she resembles a toilet brush her opinion on my artwork? Hell, no. So, she hasn't seen this one yet.
I think I've captured my essence.

(Even if it doesn't look like me, it looks one hell of a lot more like me than her self-portrait looks like her.)

Meanwhile, here are some drawings that I'm sure look exactly like the people they purport to be.

This is the lovely Sandra Ree.


This is Chris Stone, ice skating.


The above were done by Kevin Smith, of The Angry Fan. Going way beyond the call of duty, he drew himself in the style of five different comic artists. The one in the lower right is his own style. Bravo! Magnificent!

This is My Mom, with her pet cat, Smoky. Interesting choice. She drew Smoky with her, rather than my Stepfather, Bill. Considering how Smoky turned out, this may have been a break for Bill.

This is my friend, Michelle, who calls herself The Surly Writer. That's a lie. She's a sweetie.

This is Hilary, from The Smitten Image. It certainly is.


This is Fat, Frumpy & Fifty. That's what she calls herself. Doesn't look it to me.


This is Chuck. He Simpsonized himself. So did The Beautiful (Yet Surprisingly Inexpensive) Tara, who appears below. I couldn't figure out how to save Tara's picture from the website, so I had to print it out and then scan it, thus the graininess and no color. In addition, it looks as though she has a black eye, which was NOT the case in the original. She looks like she came from trying out for a part in A Clockwork Orange. Trust me on this: She looks much better in person and in color.



This is the lovely Jenn, from Random Lunacy.

This is Janet from Adventures In The 32-Aker Wood. Her blog being named as it is, I was expecting something a bit more like Winnie-The-Pooh, but what do I know? MY WIFE looks like a toilet brush.

Below we have Lime, in two poses. One of them is NUDE! Woo-Hoo!


Well, according to her, she sleeps in the nude, so under the covers, she is.

I think these are all wonderful (even the "Simpsonized" folks, who sort-of cheated.) I am extremely grateful for the time each of these folks took from their day to work on these portraits.

I said that there would be prizes. I wasn't kidding. Everybody who sent me a portrait gets a $10 gift certificate from Amazon. It pays to be nice! You should all be receiving them, via your e-mail, sometime today.

Thank you, all. I would say, "Soon, with more better stuff", but that would be a lie. It hardly ever gets any better than this.