Tuesday, September 29, 2015
You will never read a more truthful headline.
The following pictures were all taken by me. It takes a very brave and stupid man to admit that. I am one of the world's crappiest photographers and these photos are, for the most part, not good. However, just as a mother loves her hideously dirty, ill-behaved, moronic children, and is unwilling to dump the brats in the river and cut her losses, I am unable to delete these photos without using them in some way. So, you get to see them. Lucky you.
This is me in my former studio at my former place of work. Exciting, eh?
Here we see an exciting mixing board, which I often used during my exciting days as a voice-over announcer and producer of exciting phone-related advertisements and recordings.
This was my production department partner, Dan. He was (probably still is) one of the funniest men on the face of the planet. Not in this picture, though. Sorry!
And here is a flag sticking out of some soundproofing. God Bless America!
Some of you may remember this shot. It was taken immediately following my (yeah, right) final softball game of all time in 2007. It gives a good representation of what I look like following a game on a hot summer's night. Good shot, actually. That's because MY WIFE took it. She's much better with a camera than I am. But not always!
Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Catcher do!
Here is MY WIFE. She is standing in front of a teeny little house. I know it's somewhere in New Hampshire, but I have no idea why we took the picture. Perhaps it was to show people what sort of house we could afford to buy if we liquidated all of our assets and sold our bodies to science.
I was trying to take a photograph of something just outside of this screen. Can you make out what it was? It was a deer who had come to eat apples from our yard during a New Hampshire vacation. If you look carefully, you can see the deer laughing heartily at me and my ineptitude with a camera.
Here is our friend, Valerie, amusingly murdering her husband, Jack (who seems rather non-plussed by the whole thing.) Lucky for Jack, Valerie missed him completely because he was so out-of-focus.
Later on, however, Valerie was successful in knocking Jack off. Here we see his ghost coming back into the kitchen looking for revenge (or a bottle of wine; I'm not sure which.)
And finally, here is our refrigerator. You can try to click onto it for more detail, but don't get your hopes up. Yes, the owl cookie jar in the background is wearing a scally cap. Doesn't yours?
And with that, I leave you no richer than you were when you showed up on my blog's doorstep. Next time you'll know better. I have no idea what that means, but then neither do you, so don't get all high-and-mighty.
Soon, with more better stuff.