Saturday, May 31, 2014

Lots Of Asterisks!

Once again, the Boston Herald (the 53rd biggest newspaper in the United States!) has done itself proud by putting my words on the editorial pages.


A note concerning the text (which will not make any sense until you've read it, so go do so): My fee would be commensurate* with how far I have to travel. For instance, I live just down the street from Harvard, so I'd only charge them $100.** If Beijing Jiaotong University wants me, it will cost them 600 million yuan.***

Hey, here's some footnotes!

*That's the sort of word you wouldn't expect from someone who never went to college, but I used it anyway. Just wanted to squelch the trepidations of anyone considering hiring me (which you don't know what for, unless you've read the piece, so you should do so, if you haven't. Excelsior!)

** If they throw in an honorary doctorate.

*** Yes, there is such a place. And if they'll give me a Peking duck for lunch (if they still call it a Peking duck over there) I won't make fun of the school's initials.

Soon, with more better stuff.****

**** Outright Lie


joeh said...

Yes to please and thank you! People should not be afraid to use these words loosely else they are losers.

Sandy Kessler said...


Mariann Simms said...

I'm too ashamed to tell you what came into my mind when I saw the letters BJTU.

messymimi said...

You managed to combine good advice with complaints about some of my pet peeves. That's talent!

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

The commenter, over at the Herald site who didn't like your column, obviously hasn't seen enough of your work.

Oh... wait!
That doesn't sound right.
I think I'll go count my shoes again.

Buck said...

You've done the inter-webs a HUGE service by calling out the "loosers." Thank you!

OldAFSarge said...

Heh. Good one Suldog.

(Do you attract a lot of trolls over at the Herald?)

Suldog said...

Sarge - Apparently, at least one :-)

Anonymous said...

First, congrats on getting another one published. Those folks at the Herald are pretty smart! Second, I wish i'd read this before spending a lot of money on my kids' education. Sigh. And last, amen to the 'please' and 'thank you'! Wise advice, as always.

Shammickite said...

You're doing really well by getting the BH to print all your crazy stuff.... great job! And after reading this, I'm not sure if I should contribute any more of my hard earned money to the grandkids education fund. And I have no idea what those initials could mean. Blueberry Jam Tickles Uvula? I dunno.

Hilary said...

Yay you for another fine piece recognized by the Herald. You're really kicking asterisks!

And Shammie comment made me chuckle. She does too know what you meant.

And the naysayer is probably disgruntled for just learning that he's been spelling "loser" incorrectly. ;)

CLR said...

Perfect! And perfectly said!!!

Michelle H. said...


Shammickite said...

No I don't! I'm innocent!

Maggie May said...

You always manage a good post with or without asterisks!
Maggie x

Nuts in May

Jackie said...

Look who the dog drug in.
No. Not you.
Hi, my friend. Smee.
You know that I've not NOT been here. (Hard to read that with the double negative, but I know that if anyone can do it and make sense of it, you can.)
I read your blogs, smirk, smile, (sometimes out loud)...but haven't commented. Took a wee break. (No, not that kind...the other kind.) But...I have let my feelings be known at the Boston Herald. Positive ones, of course!
Always a pleasure to read your work there, and I'm so happy that the powers that be continue to publish your work.
I'm so proud of you.
Thank you for your friendship, Jim. You know that I love you and your Dear Wife.
I'm outa here now....
But, I'll be back.
Hugs a bunch,

Eddie Bluelights said...

You never lose (note one o) any of your gloss Jim!
I can see the Boston Hearld readers will want a lot more of this - great you are treating them.
Congrats on the articles ~ Eddie

joeh said...

I can never comment on the BH page, but someone there is unable to recognize good writing from the basement of his parents home.