MY WIFE - who, if she acted on every good idea she's ever had, would be a millionaire many times over, but we're both a bit lacking in the get 'er done gene - has come up with another one. She says we should write a curling song and be ready to cash in for the 2018 Winter Olympics. So, without further ado (I don't understand what people have against ado; most of my life has consisted of it, and I'm happy) here it is.
(As you'll see, this should be sung by a female for greatest effect. If a male wishes to sing it, he'll come off a bit swishy. If he doesn't care, then neither do I.)