Saturday, December 28, 2013

A Stinky Gift For You!

Earlier this year, I submitted the following - in written form - to a few places. It was greeted with extreme indifference. So, I decided that perhaps it would make a better performance piece. I recorded it. Then I found that, for the life of me, I couldn't think of anyplace to send it. Therefore, I am giving it to you as a late Christmas gift. I know! My generosity is legend, but this goes above and beyond.

Enjoy (or not, if you're one of the editors I sent it to originally.)

It is called... Stinky Stuff

See you in 2014!


[photo courtesy]


Joe said...

Lol That was hilarious,Jim! Excellent!

CiCi said...

Scratch and Sniff was probably invented by you but the big corporations stole the idea and ran with it.
Very funny. If radio shows come in style again, we could be sitting around the radio on Saturday nights listening to your funny stories.

Hilary said...

This just stinks.. but in a good way.

I can't say that I've ever tasted circus peanuts but I kind of like rutabaga.

Agent 54 said...

This was a symphony of odors for the ears.

Is their an appropriate time to talk about stinky stuff?

Let's Go Red Sox!

joeh said...

Good stuff...great voice!

messymimi said...

Funny! Even my friend Di now knows how funny you are.

The Geezers said...

Works very well as an audio piece, too. Very funny piece.

Buck said...

Ah, teen-age lust. I remember that. Vaguely. ;-)

Anonymous said...

That cracked me up when you realized it was your own smell you associated with that girl...and then took it and ran with it, in your own way. :)

Ami said...

Love the voice. :) Funny, the internet is a meeting of minds, mostly. I've gotten to know you through what you've written, not what you've said aloud. Now I may not be able to read you without hearing your voice.
Ah well, as long as I don't smell deodorant.

Jackie said...

You have a perfect radio voice.
Is is something you have to "practice"...?
(I know that is a dumb question...but I ask it anyway.)
Happy New Year to you and your Dear Wife. I hope you both are surrounded with love, blessings, happiness, and wonderful health.

lime said...

i have never actually met anyone before you who even remotely liked circus peanuts. i personally could not identify the smell of cooking turnips either. and i can't even think of the smell that suggests teenaged lust to's baby soft perhaps?

the smell of sauerkraut, however, sends me into convulsions of hysteria and reactivates the PTSD.

Absolut Ruiness said...

(I will not apologize for the upper case as i meant to shout this out.)

lotta joy said...

Circus peanuts. Kind of a banana smell, then when you bite into one, your hand is already reaching for another one.

And do you remember the old fashioned chocolate covered vanilla creams? The kind shaped like large Hershey Kisses. But the vanilla cream was....creamy. Not the hardened confectioner sugar type of today. And while we're at it, nothing smells better than toast, or bacon, or fried potatoes...

As for deodorant. . . I find it's only necessary on other people. I just keep my arms close to my sides and never, ever, wave goodbye.

Maggie May said...

You are really funny! You make me crack up.
You have a lovely voice!
Happy New Year
Maggie x

Nuts in May