Monday, April 29, 2013

My Body, My Self


The always-delightful-yet-reasonably-priced Daryl has written a post concerning a couple of odd little body quirks she has, unfortunately, become accustomed to have happening to her. She asked about whether or not her readers had similar things happen to them. Being my usual loquacious self, I answered at length. By the time I was done, and had posted my comment, I realized I probably had enough material for a post of my own, so here it is.

My body plays the following tricks on me:

1 - My left ear will suddenly become hot and painful for no apparent reason. When it does, nothing I do makes it go away. I just have to wait for it to stop of its own accord. This usually happens in 24 to 48 hours. As you might imagine, this is a particularly irritating thing for someone who has done so much work with headphones over the years. Luckily, it only happens perhaps once every six months.

2 - This began happening just about two years ago, but it's nasty. My right foot will all of a sudden go totally spaz. It's like the arch just stiffens completely, painful as all hell. It only happens when I'm sleeping, so I've been jolted awake with searing pain in my foot a few times. Lovely.

3 - The other thing that happens has been happening my entire life. My right eye (you know, I think it's my right eye, as it hasn't happened in a long enough time that I can't recall with certainty) will start "ticcing"; that is, a nervous tic will start the eyelid fluttering or shaking. It is barely noticeable to anyone else (I know this because I've looked in the mirror while it was happening, to see how it looked, and I saw almost no movement; certainly none that anyone not looking for it would notice) but it feels as though I'm wildly winking and grimacing and otherwise presenting a lunatic face to the outside world.

So that's all I told Daryl. Since then, however, I've scanned my body and come up with the following thing I'm going to complain about whether you care or not.

4 - One spot under my right arm - that is, running from about my armpit to a spot a few inches onto my chest - becomes itchy as hell every few months. Before you get all high and mighty on me, telling me to be more solicitous in washing my armpits, I'll tell you that it positively has nothing to do with being unclean. I know this because it has happened within a couple of hours of having taken a very thorough shower. And it has nothing to do with soap, either, because I've had it happen other times when I've been without a shower for more than a day. It has happened when I've worn deodorant and also when I've not worn any deodorant. No explanation for it (except that's the side of my chest where MY WIFE says I have a vestigial third nipple - I say it's a birthmark - and maybe I'm vestigially lactating? Oog. If that's true, I think I've had enough of this world, thanks.)

So, leave a comment telling me all about the things your body is doing that make little sense. Or not, if you don't feel like encouraging me, which would be completely understandable.

Soon, with more better stuff.

24 comments:

Along These Lines ... said...

Don’t have any of those except the eye twitching, maybe a couple of times a year. Apparently, can be caused by “stress, tiredness, eye strain, caffeine, alcohol, dry eyes, nutritional imbalances, or allergies.” And if they are not the cause, quit poking yourself in the bloody eye!

Ami said...

So now we know where Scaramanga retired to...Watertown!!!

::snort::

My right eye has a tic when I am really stressed out or overwhelmed. It doesn't show to anyone else, I just feel it.

My son has inherited this characteristic from me.

Christina LMT said...

I've had the eye twitchy thing before, it's extremely annoying! Hmmm, off the top of my head, I can't think of any other weird things my body does, but I bet as soon as I click "Publish", I'll think of several...

Jeni said...

OMG! I have the eye-twitching thing too every now and again. Plus, I also get the leg/foot cramps, usually when I'm sleeping but every now and again, they will strike when I'm awake and about to try to move from one spot to another -very annoying when it happens then as it makes walking and especially balance, difficult! Then I have the "trick" knee too that likes to make me think it wants to bend in the opposite direction of which it should bend and that makes me feel like I'm going to topple down the stairs -almost always happens when there are stairs involved! I blame most of this stuff on the aging process but you're much, much younger than I, so perhaps it isn't from old age after all!

Tabor said...

I am not going to reveal all my new found traits with age. I will just keep those happy thoughts to myself. But you eye tic is usually attributed to fatigue and your itch may be dry skin, so you can try some lotion in that area after showering. The warm ear is something I have never heard about and I wonder if it is a smaller version of shingles which appears as we age. I won't charge you anything for this diagnosis.

Daryl said...

oy itching is one ailment i didnt go into in my post ... its from stress .. i feel as if - enter body part name - has hives so itch so i scratch and scratch and end up with huge red welts ... its a delight ...

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

I have an eyebrow that grows funny.
Anything else is self-inflicted and, thus, doesn't count.

The Broad said...

Restless legs -- especially when in a confined place, like a plane! But also sometimes when I get a chance to sit down and relax -- the only thing that works is going to bed... And the knees react to cold and wet weather -- of which we have had far too much lately. Knee pain completely disappears in a hot summer...

Chris said...

I get that "foot locking up" thing also, usually in my sleep. It goes away on its own but it hurts like all get out. And once in a while, my right foot starts twitching for no apparent reason.

Karen said...

Don't get me started ;)

Buck said...

I've recently begun to experience that foot thing periodically, like once a week or so... and it's no fun at all. Other than that? Nothing.

Why do we "wear" deodorant?

reasonscheerful123 said...

Are you on a lot of caffeine? That makes me tick, as does lack of slip. I have a muscle that seizes up just under my ribcage. It's very odd and I have to keep completely still to make it stop. Right shoulder is where I carry my life, aches like hell and responds to massage....shall I go on? Don't think so do you? x

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

The only thing I lose control of is those damn hamsters
Anything and everything happens then
You might need some more potassium to deal with the foot thing
Whatever you do, don't try what van Gogh did for his ear
They don't grow back

Hilary said...

The most annoying thing which has begun happening over the past 5 years or so is an incredibly itchy forearm and shoulder. It happens every autumn and lasts until spring. The only year that it didn't bother me was after a summer when I was extremely diligent with sunscreen. It's just beginning to ease off now for this year. It's my left arm only and I've recently learned that I'm not alone.

http://www.drbaileyskincare.com/blog/a-new-explanation-for-intensely-itchy-arms/

That, and a host of other things but this one is the most annoying and persistent.

messymimi said...

The occasional nighttime leg cramps can get annoying. My other stuff is heart related and lung related and i know medically why they happen, and they are hugely annoying anyway.

Stephen Hayes said...

For me, the worst part of aging is that I'm shrinking. I've lost half an inch in height over the last few years. I wonder how long it will be before I disappear.

lime said...

i get the eye twitching thing too. as for other body weirdness. since march 8 when my thyroid went apeshit i have a whole litany of body weirdnesses. i won't bore you with all the details. my least favorite though is when my heartrate is normal (thanks to the meds) yet feels like my heart is about ready to leap out of my chest and do a jig in front of me. that's really swell.

less disturbing and more of a lifelong trend is that i tend to get hiccups after eating hard pretzels or bagels. not always but frequently enough to notice the trend. kinda weird but there you go.

Jane said...

I always feel the need to fart while looking at greeting cards. Don't judge.

Michelle H. said...

I get the "eye tick" thing also. I always attributed it to eye strain from staring at the bright screen of my computer way too long (along with other factors). But I can actually see the twitches when I look in the mirror.

If I lay down on something soft, like an air mattress, my left knee will pop out of joint when I roll to shift position. Not a pain you want to have while laying down. Also, my chin, neck and inside of ears will get extremely itchy right before I have an asthma attack.

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

Oh wait a sec...
I have to pee at some of the strangest times.

Juli said...

I also have this... and Youngest also inherited it from me. :)

Juli said...

Honestly, I likely have enough oddities to create my own post as well.

Course, I'd likely lose most of my followers...

Jackie said...

Restless leg syndrome...and for me, not drinking carbonated beverages has helped so much.
I haven't had a drink (Coca Cola, Dr. Pepper, etc.) since 2013 has begun, and wonderfully, my RLS has almost disappeared. Thanks for asking, my friend....
Hugs from one of your cures for what ails you,
J.

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

A couple years ago Matt & I went as Sal and Ginny, the middle aged Hawaiian tourists from Long Island, for Halloween. Every time one or the other of us groans when we sit down now due to who knows what random pain we will refer to each other as Sal or Ginny. Getting older really is a mo fo ain't it?