Thursday, April 18, 2013

For The Woman Who...



... is often my conscience, giving me a gentle nudge to do what I almost always find out later was the right thing and what I should have been doing from the beginning.

... has never, not even once, doubted my ability to be more than I am.

... knows how to get a laugh from me even during those times when laughter is the furthest thing from my mind.

... makes me happy to be alive on those days, that happen to all of us, when getting out of bed has become a chore for one reason or another.

... has more consistently been in my corner than Bundini Brown was for Ali (and who, upon reading this, will ask me, "Who is Bundini Brown?")

... now knows more about The Three Stooges than she ever thought she would, ever wanted to, and ever would like to admit.

... has never, not even once, during the entire course of our more than 22 years together, tried to stop me from taking a nap.

(You may not consider that item to be on par with the other things I've mentioned, but I consider it of paramount importance.)

... despite all of the evidence I've given her to the contrary, still thinks I'm the greatest catch she could have made.

... makes sure that every birthday of a friend or relative is remembered in some way even though I barely ever remember when they're due to happen.

... despite the obvious convenience of not having to spell her name every time she has to give it over the phone, still chose not to become a Sullivan when we were married.

(And which I completely understand, by the way. Had the situation been reversed, and my last name was something like Mxzyptlk, I would have kept the same name I came into the marriage with, too.)

... who would be very mad at me if I gave you her age here, so I'll tell you she's the square root of 1521, divided by Delonte West's uniform number when he was with the Celtics, plus the number of American League Championships won by the Red Sox (even including those when they were called the "Americans", and not the "Red Sox"), times the combined final score of the seventh game between the Bruins and Montreal in 1979 (the bastards...), minus Tony Conigliaro's home run total to win the league championship in 1965, plus Doug Flutie's retired uniform number at Boston College, divided by Tony Conigliaro's uniform number (which should have been retired long ago), plus Rick Robey's uniform number while he was with the Celtics (which, if you need a clue, was Delonte West's number times 4, plus the number of times in my life I've left a professional baseball game before the last out.)

(And if you can figure out how old she is from that, you deserve to know. If you tell anyone else, however, I'll have to come to your house and kill you. On the other hand, she won't be able to figure out her own age if she tries to do it from those clues, so there's that.)

... deserves a better birthday card than this (but isn't gonna get one because I'm a slug.)

... is MY WIFE, for better or worse (and she's probably wavering as to just which category this falls into.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

With any luck, I am now standing to your left with a present of some sort. Despite the many requests you've made through the years, it is NOT a fully-let-out ranch mink. Maybe next year. Meanwhile, you should read all of the wonderful things people have wished you. They appear below (this would be a hint to the rest of you, and thanks.)

41 comments:

joeh said...

Happy Birthday Mrs. Mxzyptlk and I'm sure you don't look a day over Sully's formula minus 10.

Hilary said...

Awww methinks she probably has the best gift she could ever want, every year for more than 22 of them.

Happy Birthday, JIM'S WIFE! May you have many, many more with this sweet man.

(and as if we needed a hint) :P :)

Absolut Ruiness said...

Happy Birthday Mrs. Sullivan!!! Even though our Jim is known to blow things out of proportion here, im sure he feels more for you than he can ever put into words. May God bless you and may you have a rocking day today!!!

The Broad said...

Wishing you the happiest of birthdays, Mrs. Mxzyptik. Hope it's full of unexpected and wonderful surprises!

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Happy Birthday to the Mrs.

Being 29 forever is our prerogative.

Christina LMT said...

Happy Birthday, Jim's WIFE!

Clare said...

Happiest Birthday, Jim's WIFE!!!!
Sounds to me like your hub is one lucky (Sul) dog!

xoxoxo, cd

Sandy Kessler said...

Wife every birthday is such a treasure and gift from God-- relish it and many blessing sandy

Just My Life and All That said...

Bless you Suldog and bless your WIFE. I've missed your blogs. I’m back and struggling to remember how blogging works! I was Jo, Reasons to be Cheerful 123. Great to see you are still here and HAVEN'T CHANGED A BIT ;) XX

Just My Life and All That said...

Agh! why's it so complicated to follow people these days? Someone explain to me I'm a bit thick!

OldAFSarge said...

Happy Birthday to the Incredible Lady who manages the Herculean task of keeping our man Suldog in line.

Who also gives him the freedom to keep the rest of us entertained.

May you enjoy the day!

Juli said...

HaPpY BiRtHdAy! <--see, even the letters are dancing!

messymimi said...

Many happy returns of the day, Jim's Wife! May your day be filled with joy.

Barbara Shallue said...

Happy birthday, JIM'S WIFE! I hope you have a great day - thanks for sharing Jim with the rest of us!

Ami said...

May the candles on your cake burn like cities in your wake!

Viking Birthday Song


(I'm authorized to use it because of all the 'blonde' hair I am suddenly sprouting.)

Michelle H. said...

Happy Birthday, Jim's WIFE!

Anonymous said...

c/m - Jim's dear WIFE. I cherish you as my daughter-in-law, but much, much more as my FRIEND. I thank God always that you answered my request that fateful day to come to the party at the club. I just KNEW that you two were meant for each other!!!! May this be only one of many more happy, healthy birthdays and years together. I'll see you soon when we will probably get together to celebrate our close-together birthdays.

Lil said...

Happy Birthday Jim's WIFE. Here's wishing you the perfect day.

Oh, and Jim, is that calculation for real? I know it probably isn't but I really wouldn't put it past you.

Joan said...

Happy Birthday to your wife! You two are blessed to have each other.

Bill Yates said...

Like a miracle out of the blue
You rescued me like the angels do
You shook the heavens and cracked the sky
When you walked...when you walked into my life

(Lila McCann; When You Walked Into My Life)

Suldog said...

Lil (and anyone else wondering) - Yes, the calculation is real. And if you figure it out, you have too much time on your hands, same as me.

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

Dear WIFE,
We almost met.
GS and my loss, I'm sure.
Because we know Jim never, ever exaggerates.
I know he's not exaggerating about HIS WIFE because I can say about the same for GS.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Daryl said...

wishing YOUR WIFE a very happy birthday .. i know Toonman sends his wishes too, he is very enamored of your sense of humor and we both hope to spend more time with you (and that man you're married to) soon!

Ruby said...

Happy Birthday Mrs.Sullivan!!!!

Stephen Hayes said...

I hope your wife has a wonderful time on her special day. Happy Birthday.

Chuck said...

Happy birthday to YOUR WIFE! Hope you have an excellent day together.

Jackie said...

Dear Jim's Wife,
As I read his blog post to you, my eyes watered. Nope. It's not from the pollen down here in Jawja; it's from reading the sweet sentiments expressed about you and the feelings that are deeply spoken through his wit and words. It is more than apparent that he loves and cherishes you. What a gift you are; you are a gift from God.
And then, I read the comment from your Mother-in-law. Now, I'm a mess. You are a fine lady, and I wish the happiest of birthdays to you, my friend. Sending you hugs and love.
Jackie

Char said...

Happy, Happy Birthday, Jim's WIFE!! Hope you have a wonderful day.

PS to Jim: I tried that math thing, but I'm betting WIFE cannot be 132 years old!!

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

You sure have a way with words

Of course it helps when you don't have to make the stuff up as you go along

Happy Birthday, WIFE!

Chris said...

Happy Birthday, Mrs. Suldog. You are undoubtedly a candidate for sainthood.

Chris said...

Okay, I have to ask, how many times have you left a professional baseball game before the last out? I'm guessing zero, which again makes us so similar as to be disturbing. If not, what's the answer and reason (I'm sure it's not more than two and probably for some emergency. Or when the Yankees were beating Boston by 10 runs or something -- the year 1978 comes immediately to mind).

Suldog said...

Chris - The answer, unfortunately, is ONE. It was the very first professional ball game I ever attended, at the age of seven. The Sox were losing, 4 - 1, after seven innings. I wanted to stay but My Dad decided we should go to beat the traffic. I swore then and there that I would never again leave a baseball game early, and I've kept that promise.

Suldog said...

Oh, and I was at one of the "Boston Massacre" games in '78. Stayed through all nine.

Buck said...

Dang it, Skip. Ya beat me to the punch with that link.

Buck said...

Happy, Happy!

(The calculation is real? YOU obviously have too much time on yer hands, Jim.)

Mrs. Mxyzptlk said...

jim's WIFE says: thank you! THANK YOU TO ALL BY THE WAY (blush delicately) 8-D ,<myphoto

She Who Carries Camera said...

Boy, would I love to get a Birthday Card like this! You're a lucky Woman...Jim's Wife!

Michael Sweeney said...

Happy Birthday Darling Aunt Donna! You're so hip, I bet you could read the clock from the Odd Couple without any problems.

lime said...

Happy birthday to YOUR WIFE whom i adore. She is one sweet, intelligent, and very dryly funny woman. I have so thoroughly enjoyed the two times I have met her. I wish her only happiness and health and blessings for her birthday and the rest of the year!

Jeni said...

I'm thinking her request for a full length mink coat is her equivalent to my request -at every gift-giving occasion -for a winning lottery ticket -super type! But, in addition, I rather believe that she will take you birthday greeting and tuck it away as the treasure that she knows it to be! It's late at night now as I read this and am writing this so in all likelihood, your birthday is history for this year now but I hope you had a wonderful day, enjoying your life with Jim and celebrating this day to the max. And may you have many, many happy returns of the day as well too!!

Kat said...

Oh I just love reading about you and your wife. I love the relationship you two have.
I hope with all the craziness going on she still managed to have a great birthday!