Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Nobody Reads My Texting






Nobody Reads My Texting

[Sung to the tune of "Deep In The Heart Of Texas"]

I tell you all I'm at the mall
Why don't you read my texting?
I think it's news when I buy shoes
Nobody reads my texting!

I wrote a bunch about my lunch
Why don't you read my texting?
Me!Me!Me!Me! - I had sushi
Nobody reads my texting!

I had a date but I was late
I couldn't stop my texting!
Now I'm alone 'cause she went home
She couldn't stand my texting!

So I told you what I'd been through
You didn't read my texting...
You told me to STFU
Nobody reads my texting!


[Dedicated to a great humorist - and he's still alive, so I'll assume he's still funny - Frank Jacobs.]

Soon, with more better stuff.

P.S. Co-writing credit on this goes to MY WIFE (who, if she had her own blog - hint, hint - could regale you with her wit on a much more regular basis.)

P.P.S. Yes, the artwork is mine. No, I'm not proud to say that.

35 comments:

Maggie May said...

That brought a chuckle!
Maggie x

Nuts in May

The Geezers said...

Nice piece. Your wife may be stellar, but you're not entirely without wit yourself.

Jewels said...

I wonder what texters did with their time before cell phones. I fondly remember what it was like to spend time in a restaurant without talking to the back of somebody's phone. This is my first official "When I was a kid" story. I think I'll write about it tomorrow. Thanks!

Sarah said...

I read..I laughed..and now it's stuck in my head. Nice job ;)

Babs said...

I only remember the one line of Deep in the Heart of Texas, while singing and that's it..I just "poemed" it.
Your Wife should have her own blog..It makes me curious...kinda like Phyllis Diller and Fang lol.

Lil said...

I'd go for your texted witticisms every time.

CLR said...

Love it!

Ruby said...

I loved this poem. I was constantly texting or free-calls-for-same network in my college days, now I can't believe what a text addict I was back then.

Pearl said...

LOL!

Pearl

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

Rogers & Suldog...
Suldog & Hammerstein...
Gilbert & Hah!

Jackie said...

For your wife: Great job!!
Please, consider starting a blog. You could completely disassociate yourself with the graphic artist here, and have a go at it.
For you Sully: Hugs from one of your BFFs

joeh said...

wtflolrotflmaoubariotgdjbmrssdog

messymimi said...

Going to share this with my teens! Very funny,

Shrinky said...

Haaaaaaaaa, never a truer word (or poem) said in jest..! I did briefly try to send a text once, back in the day I caved into using a mobile phone (and that was for less than a week), but it popped up in gibberish, scaring the total bejesus out of me, so I gave up on actually sending it - apparently I had it on some "predictive" setting?? Since my whole family seem only to communicate with each other via text, I kinda' like the idea they must call me on the land-line phone to arrange their rides!

Thanks to your wonderful WIFE for the wittiness of this post, and your drawing is just fab, hon, I think you should make it a feature in all future entries.

Along These Lines ..... said...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Trying to think of something witty
But I haven't a clue.

Ok, will leave the verse to you

OldAFSarge said...

Very nice. Liked the poem, LOVED the graphic.

Yes, I am a massive suck-up, why do you ask? (I am convinced that Suldog is going to be famous someday and will maybe remember us. If not, I can still say "I knew him when".)

Joan said...

lol Katie and I text all the time. Of course we are 3000 miles apart from each other so that makes it perfectly fine. :)

Buck Pennington said...

George & Ira Suldog...

Heh. I like what ya done here, Skip.

@Jim: I like yer art work, too.

Ami said...

I think YOUR WIFE needs a blog so she can show us the real you.
Wait. I'm pretty sure we've seen him. :)

You crack me up. And it seems that you post when I really need a smile. So thank you for that.

Hilary said...

Dear Suldog's WIFE,

Maybe nobody reads your texting but if you started a blog, I know you'd have instant followers. I hope you do. :)

lime said...

i wholeheartedly concur that YOUR WIFE needs her own blog.

Lowandslow said...

Hahaha! Great stuff. And yes, absolutely, Mrs. Sul...er...Dog needs her own blog, too. ;)

S

Absolut Ruiness said...

i realize that the humor here is underlining a serious disease afflicting people now a days. still, i couldn't keep a straight face by the end of it. Thanks Jim!

Anonymous said...

c/m
Enjoyed your song
'twas not too long
I'm glad it wasn't texted.

Phone works for me
or my PC
But nothing can be texted.

Daryl said...

love the lyrics and the art

Sandi McBride said...

just what I needed to cheer a dreary day...you are terrific lol
Sandi

Barbara said...

You two are a great team! I don't text much - my fingers are too slow!! Thanks for the laugh this morning!

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

I have resisted texting, but found it to be a necessity for keeping in touch with some family members
I like it much better than actually having to talk and listen to them
I have come to realize why folks who tweet are called twits

Jeni said...

Well, I just read your texting poem and found it to be quite a nice little piece of work. My daughter spends the bulk of her time receiving and answering text message here -or so it seems at times. Every time I turn around, it seems the "dog whistle" sound she has on her phone to announce yet another text message seems to be going off!

I have a little cell phone of my own but it doesn't have texting. And for that, I'm glad, as I dont'think I'd ever be able to figure out how to respond to those messages there. But then, considering how many phone calls I've actually received on my phone in the almost 18 months since my son and his girlfriend signed me up for it, I'd probably still be working on trying to answer the first text on it to me!

I agree too that your lovely wife should indeed entering into the blog scene and I'm sure she would get a whole lot of instant readership -just telling her side of your many escapades!

Michelle H. said...

It costs 25 cents to text. So I don't do it much. This is just a great piece!

(Also, Mr Rogers birthday is today.)

Clare Dunn said...

Texting??? We don't do no stinking texting!!!

Clare Dunn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mich said...

You should get Facebook on your phone. Then you can turn your texts into posts, which will be seen by everyone you know as opposed to just the person you are texting. ;)

xo

Joanna Jenkins said...

You crack me up. I text very little and when I do I usually don't understand the shorthand people ate using to text me with. Sheesh. That makes me sound old. Sigh.
jj

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