Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Brainstorm Me



I'm sitting here with an article I've tried to sell a couple of places with no luck.

(Maybe the reason it's not selling is because I write sentences - such as the above - which would give you the impression that I've been trying to sell the piece to periodicals which have recently experienced a downturn in their fortunes. That's not what I meant. Any downturn in their fortunes will likely occur after publishing my stuff.)

Be that as it may - and it sure seems like it, these days - I have written something I consider humorous. Your job, should you choose to accept it, is to tell me the names of your favorite humorous magazines. I will then read your suggestions and send the piece to an unsuspecting editor or two. If the piece is finally published someplace, I'll give the person who first suggested the magazine it is published in a small token of my thanks (said token being larger or smaller depending upon the size of the check they send me.)

Don't be afraid of being too obvious. Lord knows that never stopped me. What I mean is don't skip a favorite because you assume I already would have thought of that magazine. You should never assume I've thought of anything.

That's all for today (except to say "Thank You!" in advance for your assistance.)

Soon (which has become a very relative term around here, but you know what I mean), with more better stuff.


34 comments:

Chris said...

What's the subject?

Suldog said...

Just general rambling nonsense, rumination, philosophical meanderings. Nothing too scatological or otherwise unfit for a family audience. If you're asking whether it has a real narrative thread, no.

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

National Geographic, Sunset, Bon Appetit and The Economist are the magazines I read most often.
Better Homes & Gardens also comes to mind.
Then there's Via, the California State Automobile Association (AAA) members magazine.
They seem willing to print almost anything.

Michelle H. said...

It's hard to say, since I'm unsure of the demographic it would appeal toward. Family-friendly stuff, i.e. strictly with a family leaning, I'd suggest maybe Parade or Family Circle. Uplifting stories: USA Today. Funny/political made-up stuff you could send to The Onion or Cracked. That's all I can think of at the top of my head.

Michelle H. said...

Of course, if it's more narrative fiction/nonfiction, go to duotrope.com. They are an online directory of magazines and periodicals for people to submit fiction, nonfiction and poetry.

Suldog said...

Everybody - Just hit me with magazines. Don't worry about the demographics or the subject matter. I'll be able to weed out those that definitely wouldn't be interested. Thanks!!!

Sarah said...

Reader's Digest.

OldAFSarge said...

Um, um, do they still publish magazines? The only magazines I really read are like million year old issues of Sports Illustrated and Reader's Digest. But that's at my Doctor's office. So I'm at a loss here.

But seriously, Michelle provides some excellent ideas. Me, I'd say Reader's Digest. I've actually subscribed to that from time to time. Might try Yankee Magazine as well. I mean you ARE a Yankee right? And I actually do read that magazine. I'm thinking that lots of your stuff is better than some of the stuff Yankee puts in there now. Just give it a New England twist. (I dunno insert the phrase "Red Sox" from time to time, or "clam chowda". I'm really scrambling to help you out Suldog.)

So yeah, final answer: Reader's Digest and Yankee. (No it's not about THOSE Yankees.)

Mariann Simms said...

Cracked, to me, seems like it will take anything as long as it's not written well and not original. That being said, perhaps you can get some stuff in there and make them see the light.

Mental Floss prides themselves on trying to be, um...cerebral. I don't see many things from them (at least the stuff my Facebook friends say is hilarious) which are. Again, perhaps you can turn that place around.

There's another one along those lines which will pay outside writers stuff - but I don't recall the name right now. It's along the same lines, but they at least have higher standards if you ask me.

Anyway - I'll let you know when I can think of it. It will probably come to me at 2:00 a.m.

Hilary said...

Frank, who has belonged to a few writers' boards/forums over the years, semi-recently posted a list of links which he calls "Useful Sites for Writers." Among them some links to newspapers around the world and resources for freelance writers. You don't need to become a member to look around but if you do join, you can post questions to a few knowledgeable writers who won't steer you wrong. Frank also said that you're welcome to contact him via email through me if you like. He would be happy to help in any way he can.

http://bwritersnest.runboard.com/t506

Mich said...

I really wish I could help because I would LOVE to see something of yours published in one of my favourite magazines (I would have you sign it, and then frame it and hang it on my wall). But the only magazines I read are National Geographic and Smithsonian. Sure I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try?

You could also try the Bergen Record. The letters to the editor section has published some of the funniest things I've ever read...

Jenny Woolf said...

I can't even think of any amusing English magazines. But I used to like reading MAD when we could pick it up in the Canadian stores.

Jenny Woolf said...

A pretty useless comment above, actually. I wish I could help but I am sure you will place it soon, your writing's wonderful!

joeh said...

Does "Playboy" have articles?

Buck Pennington said...

Well, I'm no help. I only subscribe to two magazines... NatGeo and Air Force... the latter comes from my membership in the Air Force Association. I don't think either publication does humor.

Sorry, Jim.

Uncle Jim said...

AOPA (Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association).

Lowandslow said...

May I suggest Outside and Men's Journal. They're both pretty much "let it all hang out". I also enjoy some of the columnists at Automobile. While they write sometimes vaguely about cars, they have been known to wander into nostalgia, humorous self deprecation, crazy stunts, etc. Hope this helps. :)

S

Bill Yates said...

Oxford American, the Southern Magazine of Good Writing.

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

Ooh, ooh... Smithsonian!

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

Oh... and, yeah Buck... Playboy has articles and stories.

Jackie said...

The Progressive Farmer; Old Farmer's Almanac; Mad Magazine; Highlights; Good Housekeeping; Redbook; Discover Magazine;

Along These Lines ... said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
OldAFSarge said...

Ya mean with like words and everything?

Chuck said...

The only humorous magazine I peruse lately is Cracked. I like Mad as well. They don't aim just at the kid market anymore, especially Cracked.

lime said...

gees, i work in a children's library. all i can think of is highlights, ranger rick, and zoo books. i'm no help at all am i? but i hope the thought of publishing in highlights gave you a chuckle or perhaps a new idea anyway.

Barbara Shallue said...

Oh, gosh, the only magazine I (intend to) read these days (without much luck and they're piling up) is More. Depending on what you've written, they might take it, though! I also intend to read National Geographic, with about the same amount of success. I gave up on Reader's Digest, but they do publish funny stuff. The only strictly funny magazines I can think of are the Onion and MAD. Keep trying!! You're an awesome writer!

Daryl said...

travel pieces should go to Conde Nast Traveler ... food to Bon Appetite ... technical crap to Wired ... i dont read humorous rags but i know you can tailor your humor ... especially your sports pieces ... send those to Details

Karen said...

I'm no help since I don't do magazines, but I found a couple of lists that might be helpful. Good luck!
http://www.everywritersresource.com/magazinestakingonlinesubmissions.html

http://www.everywritersresource.com/topliterarymagazines.html

jib said...

best two suggestions. both are favorites of mine although I don't get Yankee anymore. Downeaster might be another. Have you tried The New Yorker?

Babs said...

I think the Mad and Cracked up is a good idea, maybe the Sports sites, try googling some of the writing clubs--asking the Meetup groups. I'm familiar with book sites, but Magazines and all that..other than Rolling Stone, now wouldn't that be cool-man. :) Ladies Home Journal...hmmm
Every year we have a writing club in town a convention have you ever tried one of those to make your connections for ideas?

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

Coastal Living... GS and I will see what else we can scour up on visits to various ans sundry medical facilities.

Along These Lines ... said...

Actually, without knowing more, it's had to say where to send it.

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

I somehow managed to get on a list for every magazine on the planet. Always reminds me of that scene in "Office Space" when Peter has to buy 40 subscriptions to Vibe. Not sure if that's a real magazine or not but those I do get are Sports Illustrated, Entertainment Weekly, Entrepreneur, Rolling Stone & Inc.

Jeni said...

Well, the only thing I read -magazine wise, that is -would be Reader's Digest. I do also read our local rag of a newspaper but considering you are not a resident of the "elite" areas that this paper covers (which means it never has anything about the particular area of the county where I reside), I sure wouldn't recommend them then. I did, once, get a piece published in the State College.com magazine which truly shocked the living crap out of me and better yet, got me lots of pats on the back from people from around the area where I live who happened to see my piece! (Oh and yes, they did pay me too although nothing outrageously generous in that department but I was just super excited to see something I had written actually in print so if I hadn't been totally broke at the time, I would have been happy with just it being in their mag! Occasionally, I have seen articles in mags like "Family Circle" -"Woman's Day" and Good Housekeeping as well and you know the old adage -"No tickee, no laundry" so I'd say give any and all you can think of a shot!