Ugh. MY WIFE has been sick for the past 10 days or maybe two weeks. We were both thinking it was some sort of hideously virulent bronchitis - she's been known to have bouts of it - but now I'm feeling like crap, too. I think maybe we both have some sort of yucky combination cold/flu thing. If I'm in for the same length of time she's had it, and the same sort of coughing, etc., there won't be any vacation for either of us this year. We'll be using all of our remaining time as sick days.
That sucks, but it could be worse. I've got three relatives with varying stages of cancer. That tends to put things into perspective. In deference to their privacy, no names will be given. If you're willing to say a prayer for general well-being within my family, however, it would be appreciated.
Meanwhile, I feel about as much like writing as I feel like eating a big greasy pork chop.
(Bad idea to think of similes right now. My stomach is flopping over on its side from that one.)
So, since I may be out of action for a while, here's something to fill your time.
I have been chosen by A Blogful Of Boredom to do something called a Re-Blog Bloggity Blog-Blog Bloggeriffical Blogulousness Challenge (or something like that.) Anyway, the idea is to give you links to seven of my old blog postings. Well, heck, I'm likely to do that on any regular old day, so why not now?
The challenge, such as it is, consists in coming up with seven blog postings that fit into the following categories:
After I've provided links and explanatory material concerning all seven (and, presumably, after you've visited each one and said, "Most kind and gracious God! How did I ever miss these gems when they first made an appearance? I could have swum a literary ocean filled with inestimable beauty, truth, and awesome wonder, yet I unknowingly wallowed in a mud puddle until now!") I then get to choose five among you to be human sacrifices in the volcano of my quest to increase readership and, when you have overwhelming pangs of guilt and decide you'll do it, even though you don't have enough time to take a good poop these days, you get to pass it on to five more unwitting dopes, like some virulent form of chlamydia, until everyone on the internet has received $35,000,000 from Bill Gates.
Here are my seven:
My most beautiful post
Beauty is, of course, in the eye of the beholder. I find many kinds of pornography quite beautiful. Others find those same books and films about as fun as a rectal examination performed with a grappling hook (which, in case you're wondering, does not fall within the sort of porno I would like.) Anyway, here is something I wrote and which I think fits the category. Your mileage may vary. If so, you're a jerk.
My most popular post
There are two ways one can choose this: by number of hits on a specific page or by number of complimentary comments. I think I'll take the complimentary comments. The one with the most hits over the lifetime of this blog has nothing to do with the actual subject matter, I'm afraid. It is the title that draws folks in. They mostly leave disappointed, as I'm sure you will.
Wile E. Coyote Catches Roadrunner, Eats Him
So, we'll go with this paen to masturbation, instead.
What I Learned In High School
My most controversial post
The above could have qualified, but I have an easier choice.
Very few of my posts have received either flames or arguments, no matter how much they may have deserved them. This one, wherein I discussed my past life as a small-time drug dealer, and my absolute non-guilt about same, touched a couple of raw nerves. I am so very thankful for my readers, though. Even when possibly complaining about something I've written, they are respectful and kind, mostly. Whatever mild flames I received on this one were given via private e-mail, and even then there was civil discourse all around.
Often Dazed, Rarely Confused
My most helpful post
Helpful? Me? I'm truly not sure if I've been helpful, at least in the way I suppose this is meant. I mean, I may have inadvertently given someone some sort of information that he or she found useful at some point, but I haven't been one to put up posts specifically to... Oh, hey, wait a minute! This one comes to mind...
Everything Gets Better
Yeah, I'd like to think that qualifies.
A post whose success surprised me
I expect every damn post to become something that people tell their friends about and about which their friends thank them in return. Asking me to point out ONE post I was surprised about being a success is sort of like asking Colonel Sanders to name his favorite chicken wing. Nevertheless, I'll choose this one because it was the first to garner me a mention outside of bloggerville (it was mentioned in The Boston Globe upon its original publication, but I'm linking to the most previous version I've published here since it contains a small update I think has some importance.)
Return To Caddy Road
A post I feel didn’t get the attention it deserved
And, referring you back to my preface to the choice immediately above this one, the answer here would have to be, "Every Damn One Of Them!"
Let's go with this...
A Big Fat Bunch Of Lies
No good reason for picking this, except I think it's funny, and, to tell you the truth, when I honestly go back through my past postings and look at the number of comments, everything seems about right. I've got no complaints.
The post of which I am most proud
I guess I'll have to go with this one:
A Day (5 Of Them, Actually - All Saturdays) In The Life
The story of my life, condensed.
And now, I get to name five of you poor souls to do what I've just done (that is, waste everybody's time.) I choose...
Barbara (Long Hollow)
The View From This End (Moannie)
Running In The Yard Next Door (Craig)
You delightful writers may take up the challenge or not, as you see fit. If you don't see fit to do it, I'll be over to your place with an axe (after I get out of my sickbed.)
Soon (relatively speaking), With More Better Stuff