Opinions are like bumper stickers for Obama in Massachusetts. Every asshole's got one.
Really. That's not a dig against Obama, by the way. What possible reason could you have for sporting a bumper sticker for him, if you live in Massachusetts, other than some pitiful attempt to show the world-at-large that you aren't a loser because you were on the winning side during the previous election? You might as well drive down the street with your head out the window, fingers waggling in your ears, going "Nyah, nyah! Nyah, nyah!" It's not as though your bumper sticker made a difference then, nor will it make a difference in 2012. Obama will carry Massachusetts even if Jesus Christ himself is on the ballot, provided Jesus Christ is listed as a Republican. Cretins.
Speaking of cretins, have you ever seen People Of Walmart? If you haven't, and you're too lazy to have clicked onto the link, it's a website devoted to showing photographs of poor mentally incompetent souls who had the bad fortune to be shopping at Walmart while some a-hole with a cell phone camera was in the same aisle. While, yes, some of them have to be seen to be believed, and there is a certain sadistic holier-than-thou thrill associated with seeing a woman in a three-sizes-too-small purple fishnet dress deciding which sort of Cheetos to buy, I feel it's my duty to point out that if you were there to take the photo, then you're a Walmart person, too. Don't turn around! Some other snarkster might be gaining on you.
The other day, I ventured the opinion that Ian Paice is the best drummer in rock. Some folks expressed the opinion that my opinion wasn't correct.
(That's what sparked this blog entry, by the way. The rest of whatever appears here were things I thought about on my drive to the office today. Yes, I do work long and hard to make your time here worthwhile.)
Some of you averred that Neal Peart was the superior drummer, while another chose Charlie Watts, and I'm sure some of you were at least thinking of your own personal favorite skin basher while leaving unspoken the opinion that I was seriously cracked. Well, of course, De Gustibus Non Est Disputandum, as my grandfather said that time he placed a connection between his septic tank and the neighbor's shower. If everybody agreed on such things, there'd be one flavor of ice cream (peppermint stick, by the way) and Paris Hilton would be outlawed. Peart is amazing, and Watts is tasty as hell. However, my favorite is Mr. Paice, and I would like to take this opportunity to state my case more eloquently than I might have before.
Of course, if you hate drum solos, then that bored the hell out of you (which is probably a good thing, as who wants hell in them?) but, then again, if you hate drum solos, my opinion is you aren't allowed an opinion on who is the best drummer. In any case, can I at least state that Ian Paice is the best left-handed drummer, and leave it at that with no argument?
Finally, I would like to express my opinion that Boston in 2011 is the most awesome place to be a sports fan, ever.
(Had all of the teams been losing, if would be "They".)
... have now won a total of seven titles, and captured the championship in all four major North American sports, within the past ten years. That is something no other city on the continent can brag.
I'll go a step further and say that we deserve every monomaniacal moment with which we will indulge ourselves. Why? The fans here are the most loyal in all of sport. Allow me to elucidate.
Prior to the current championships won by each of the four teams, these were the droughts through which we suffered:
That, folks, is a combined total of 188 years of waiting. You can't name me another city as patient. Through it all, the Boston fans remained loyal. Sure, they kvetched mightily, and paraded their futility as though it were a championship unto itself, but they never stopped being in love. And the reward? Here are the current years since each of those teams has won their respective titles:
Imagine that. Every person in the city over the age of six has been alive to see all four teams win a title. The Patriots, for goodness' sakes, are now the team that hasn't won one in the longest time. Slackers!
Cleveland me no Clevelands, and Chicago me no Cubs. While I truly feel for denizens of Ohio's northerly big city, they don't qualify for as high a spot on the misery index as Boston once held. The reason? While the Indians are certainly a pain to root for, and the Cavaliers are now loveable in comparison to their former best player, the Browns are basically an expansion franchise and they have no NHL team. Bzzzzt! Any city without the requisite four franchises doesn't make the discussion. And Chicago? Piffle! Sure, the Cubs are pitiful, but you have TWO teams in baseball and the other one won it all in 2005. I'd entertain an argument from Detroit fans, regarding misery, if the Red Wings weren't so spectacularly successful in recent times. As a matter of fact, maybe I'll still entertain an argument from them, seeing as how the Lions are an unparalleled embarrassment, but the Pistons have only recently fallen on hard times and the Tiggers did make The Series in 2006. Pittsburgh? Pirates bad, Penguins and Steelers good, and there hasn't been professional basketball there since the Pittsburgh Pipers closed up shop in 1972. I could go on, but I think I've made my point. Boston was the most miserable, and is now the most deliriously successful.
So there. Imagine me driving down the street with an Obama bumper sticker, my head out the window, waggling my fingers in my ears and going, "Nyah, nyah! Nyah, nyah!"
Soon, with more better stuff.