Thursday, March 31, 2011

Thank You, Jokesters! Great Job! Now, How About An Encore?



 [Jesus Knock-Knocking from HERE.]


You folks are the best. I asked you to participate in making someone feel better, and you did a wonderful job. Here is some of what the person for whom this effort was made said to me, this morning, via e-mail...

"Jim, I am beyond touched. I read [your e-mail to me] and then your post and then I sobbed...because of your thoughtfulness and because laughter is so important to me...and then I felt the weight of the world lifted off of my shoulders....then I came back and read it again along with the comments...and I laughed and I laughed...yes, laughter is the best medicine...Thank you from the bottom of my heart...please know that you and everyone that made me laugh tonight gave me what I needed to keep on going. Blessings to each one."

So, what do you say, folks? Ready for an encore?

This time, our weapon will be the tried-and-true "Knock-Knock" joke! Obviously, if we go about this in the same fashion as yesterday - one person posts a straight line, next person provides the punch line and another straight line, and so on - this will become a complete mess very quickly. Therefore, instead, just give us some of your favorite Knock-Knocks, in their entirety, in the comments section.

For starters, I'll throw out a dozen of my favorites...


Knock-Knock.

Who's There?

Boo.

Boo Who?

Aw, don't cry. It's not as bad as you think.


Knock-Knock.

Who's There?

Woo.

Woo Who?

See? You're feeling better already!


Knock-Knock.

Who's There?

Arch.

Arch Who?

Gesundheit.


Knock-Knock.

Who's There?

Chooch.

Chooch Who?

OK, we can play trains, but I get to be the engineer.


Knock-Knock

Who's There?

The Interrupting Cow.

The Interrup

MOO!


Knock-Knock.

Who's There?

Jesus.

Jesus Who?

OK, you go to hell. Next!


Knock-Knock.

Who's There?

Owlgo.

Owlgo Who?

Yes, and dog go "Woof".


Knock-Knock.

Who's There?

The Jehovah's Witnesses.

Crap.


Knock-Knock.

Who's There?

Pee Cup.

Pee Cup Who?

I see you!


Knock-Knock.

Who's There?

Panther.

Panther Who?

Panther no panth, I'm goin' thwimmin'..


Knock-Knock.

Who's There?

Harold Pinter.

Eugene Ionesco Who?

Wash 'n Wear Giraffe Radios.


Knock-Knock.

Who's There?

Suldog.

Suldog Who?

Suldog who will see you on Monday with more better stuff. Now let's have your best knock-knocks!


39 comments:

Uncle Skip, said...

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Formaldehyde.

Formaldehyde who?

Formaldehyde-ing places came the indians.

Daryl said...

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Pencil.
Pencil who?
Pencil fall down if you don't have a belt.

Michelle H. said...

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Satan?
Satan who?
You need to stay tan. I'm dark enough already.

Jazz said...

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Ice cream !
Ice cream who ?
Ice cream if you don't let me in !

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Water !
Water who ?
Water way to answer the door !


Knock Knock
Who's there !
Figs !
Figs who ?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Four Eggs!
Four Eggs who ?
Four Eggs ample !

Suldog said...

Abbott: Knock-Knock.

Costello: Who's there?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: What?

Abbott: No, Who!

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: What?

Abbott: Not What - Who!

Costello: That's what I'm askin' YOU. Who's there?

Abbott: And I'm telling you, yes.

Costello: Yes who?

Abbott: Absolutely.

Costello: I don't even know what I'm talkin' about!!!

Craig said...

Suldog - that's the best knock-knock I've ever seen!

I heard a great knock-knock joke the other day - you start it. . .

;)

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Eskimo, Christians and Italians.
Eskimo, Christians and Italians who?
Eskimo Christians and Italians no lies.

Mushy said...

More funny stuff!

Carolina said...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Adam!
Adam who?
Adam if I do and adam if I don't!

Carolina said...

Knock knock
Who's there?
It's me
Who's me?
Don't you mean: who am I?
Yes, who am I?
Well, if you don't know who you are, it's worse than I thought!

Karen said...

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange ya glad I didn't say banana?

Jeni said...

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Atchoo
Atchoo who?
Jeni, Atchoo Suldog?

Matt Conlon said...

My 5 year old daughter tells that interrupting cow one all the time, I love it.

My favorite is:

Me: Hey, I got a great knock knock joke, wanna hear it?

them: Yeah!

me: ok, you start

them: knock knock?

me: who's there?

them: ...?

They never see it coming!

Bill Yates said...

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive here, open the freakin' door.

Suldog said...

Couple more oldies to keep the ball rolling...

Knock-Knock

Who's There?

Dwayne

Dwayne Who?

Dwayne the bathtub! I'm dwowning!


Knock-Knock

Who's There?

Jewel.

Jewel Who?

Jewel know if you open the door!

Cricket said...

Ok... there once was a man from Nantucket... oh, wait... you said knock-knocks, huh? All right, then.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Little boy blue.

Little boy blue who?

Michael Jackson.

Hilary said...

I love Ivan's knock knock joke but Cricket's kind of sucks. ;)

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Ann.

Ann who?

Ann Easter bunny.

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Anna.

Anna who?

Anna other Easter bunny.

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Maura.

Maura who?

Maura Easter bunnies.

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Howie.

Howie who?

Howie gonna get rid of all these Easter bunnies?

Kaz said...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Niagara Falls.

NIAGARA FALLS!?!...sllllowwwllly I turned. Step...by...step...

Suldog said...

Kaz, you da man!

OK, we've got Knock-Knocks by Abbott & Costello and The Stooges. Anybody want to try for Laurel & Hardy, The Marx Brothers, Wheeler & Woolsey, or Burns & Allen?

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Viaduct.

Why a duck?

I'm fine how are you. I said this is a viaduct.

All right, why a duck? Why not a chicken?

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Sam and Janet.

Sam and Janet who?

Sam and Janet Eve-ninggggg.

(Some enchanted evening. From "South Pacific." Oh, never mind)

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

A little old lady.

A little old lady who?

HEY! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD YODEL!

Shammickite said...

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Norma Lee.

Norma Lee who?

Norma Lee I have my key.

Shammickite said...

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Hammond.

Hammond who?

Hammond eggs for breakfast.

and that reminds me of this gem, which isnt exactly a Knock Knock joke, but it was the Hammond Eggs that brought it to mind.
Say it out loud:

FUNEX?
S,VFX.
FUNEM?
S,VFM.
OK,UFMNX!

groan.....

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

George.

George who?

George your husband, of course. Say goodnight, Gracie.

Goodnight, Gracie.

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

Knock-knock
Who's there?
Amos.
Amos who?
A mosquito bit me.

Knock-knock
Who's there?
Andy.
Andy who?
Andy bit me again.

messymimi said...

Knock-Knock!
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce out, it's dark in here!

Jillsy Girl said...

knock, knock
who's there?
Isabelle
Isabelle who?
Is a bell necessary on a bike?

And here's my all time favorite that I made up as a kid....

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Howard
Howard Who?
Howard Johnson!

Don't get it? That's okay, nobody does but me! :-)

lime said...

knock knock

who's there?

lettuce

lettuce who?

lettuce in and you'll find out!


knock knock

who's there?

butter

butter who?

butter let me in before i knock down the door!

Nick said...

I'm hearing all these knocking sounds - is there an audiologist in the house?

memorial online said...

You guys are doing very funny stuff! ;) Thank you ;)

Suldog said...

Since nobody else tried these guys...

Wheeler: Knock-Knock

Woolsey: Who's There?

Wheeler: Wheeler & Woolsey

Woolsey: Wheeler & Woolsey Who?

Wheeler: Yeah, that's what everybody else said when Suldog mentioned us.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheeler_%26_Woolsey

Suldog said...

Hardy: Knock-Knock

Laurel: (absentmindedly) Hmmmmm?

Hardy: I said, "Knock-Knock."

Laurel: Why?

Hardy: (exasperated) Stanley, haven't you ever heard of a knock-knock joke?

Laurel: A knock-knock...? (thinks hard) Is it like a knick-knack?

Hardy: No! It's a joke! I say "Knock-Knock", and then you say, "Who's There?"

Laurel: Why would I do that, Ollie? I know who you are!

Hardy: That's how the joke works, Stanley! The first person says, "Knock-Knock", then the other person says, "Who's There?"

Laurel: Doesn't seem like much of a joke to me.

Hardy: Well, it is. It's very funny, IF you have brains.

Laurel: (ponders situation for a few seconds, while Ollie steams, then says) Knock-Knock.

Hardy: Who's There?

Laurel: (ponders the situation for another few seconds) That doesn't seem funny to me.

[Hardy, totally flummoxed, pops Laurel twice in the head, with a distinctive 'knock-knock' sound resulting.]

Laurel: (groggily) Who's There?

Hardy: (concerned about his friend) It's me, Stanley!

Laurel: It's me Stanley who?

Hardy: It's me Stanley because I... Aaaaarrrggghhh!

[Hits Laurel again, which seems to bring him around.]

Laurel: Well, Ollie, I still say it's not as funny as a fireman with red suspenders crossing the road. I remember once I had an uncle...

[Hardy looks into camera and sighs.]

Craig said...

Sully, yer a frickin' genius!

Craig said...

I might have to steal these sometime. . . You know, not for profit, or anything like that. . .

;)

Jane said...

Knock-knock

Who's there?

The Ozone Layer

Ozone Layer Who?

Wrong question. It should be what ozone layer?

Now go check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGxDAHkt4ok

Clare Dunn said...

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Sense O.

Sense O. Who?

Sense O. Humor

(Which all of you crazies seem to have in abundance!!!)

Jenn Flynn-Shon said...

So behind on reading your posts and glad I started with the most recent, you all are cracking me up!

My nephew's knock knock jokes are the only ones I know. They're 8 and make them up themselves so...

Knock knock

Who's there?

Chicken

Chicken who?

Chicken butt head

*insert hysterical laughter of an 8 year old because he said the word butt*

Eddie Bluelights said...

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Scott!
Scott who?
Scott nothing to do with you!!

Love these Jim.
. . . . . and another . . .

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Ken I come in, it’s freezing out here?

See ya ~ Eddie