Thursday, April 15, 2010

Sunday Is MY WIFE's Birthday



MY WIFE generally prefers that her face not be seen here. I can't say that I blame her. Being associated publicly with anything I do is likely to cause hideous embarrassment for a person, sooner or later. For instance, here it appears I'm about to puke all over my birthday eclairs. No wonder she doesn't want to be seen!


So, in deference to her wishes, I have always kept her name hidden and I generally try to keep her face out of things, too.


But, damn, how can I pass up showing her dressed as a cherry pie? Woot!



See? Now she's all embarrassed. And that's how she poses for a photo if she has even the slightest inkling that the shot will appear on these pages.


However, once in a while she lets herself be caught in a pose that truly captures her athleticism.



Oops! I've embarrassed her again!

MY WIFE

Some of you actually know her, while some of you know her only from these pages. I suspect there may be one or two people, new here, who don't know her at all. Well, here's a quick tutorial.

MY WIFE (always ALL CAPS, because... well, I guess you could read this, but it's damn long. Suffice to say she doesn't want her real name used and the CAPS are a sign of my love and respect) is my soulmate. The possibility might exist that I have other soulmates out there, but she's the one who got to me first, so she has dibs. And damn fine ones, too, I might add.

(She will read that last sentence and groan, but she won't divorce me. MY WIFE puts up with my overwhelming penchant for turning everything into a dirty joke. Soulmates will forgive the little peccadilloes.)

(And don't think I couldn't have done something similar with that sentence. Yikes!)

I can count on the fingers of one hand (I think even Mordecai Brown's hand would be enough) the number of actual fights we've had over the course of the 20 years (including 18 years of marriage) since we first met.

(Oh, you want to know how we first met? Here you go! If YOU want a soulmate, go thou and do likewise!)

(Or have your mother do likewise - and, no, that's not some sort of an insult. You'll understand when you read it.)

When I am hurting, MY WIFE hurts. When I cry, she tastes salt. That doesn't do me even a tiny bit of good, but she really likes salt, so she'll use any excuse.

(She actually laughs at some of this crap. How could I not love her?)

MY WIFE likes to take me on Mystery Dates. Since it's a mystery why she wanted to date me in the first place, it is somehow apropos.

Want to know more about her? Try these posts in which she is featured prominently:

MY WIFE wakes up on The Morning Of The Last Day Of My Mini-Vacation

MY WIFE is Howard Stern in A Halloween Story

MY WIFE is as much of a slugabed as I am during My Day At The Marathon

MY WIFE is fairly much as insane as I am while we write out George Bernard Golf Club Leans To One Side

MY WIFE goes to the grocery store with me! Mt. Olive Pepper Rings Jimmy Fund Shopping

And, of course...

The Wedding Of The Decade

... said decade being the 1990's, so if you were married in that decade, tough bananas. Ours was the best. Sorry!

And who could live without...

COED NAKED SNOW JOGGING!

There are, of course, many others. She is the reason I started blogging in the first place. It was her suggestion that I do so. Therefore, all of you people who are sick and tired of me have her to blame.

Hey! Look! Here's a whole bunch of random photos with her in them!








And now, if you would be kind enough to leave your best wishes, happy birthday greetings, or most sincere condolences concerning her marital state, I'll show them to her on Sunday. Thanks!

Soon, with more better stuff.


63 comments:

Matt Conlon said...

I've seen that post before, but I don't think it was from a year ago, was it?!

Happy Birthday to YOUR WIFE, she shares the day with my brother.

MY WIFE's is NEXT Thursday.

Jeni said...

Did I actually hit here and manage to be first in what will, I'm sure, be a long, long stream of comments and Birthday Wishes? My luck must be improving and perhaps today would be a good day to invest in the lottery. And if I do that and if I should happen to win, I'd have to remember this lucky streak began with commenting on Suldog's blog, therefore, a gift would be on it's way to you. (Remember, that is IF I win!)
But anyway, I think that more than salt in her life, you wife loves spice because it's obvious since she met and married you, Jim!

Hope YOUR WIFE has the bestest and happiest of birthdays yet. Now, what are you giving her other than this remembrance post in honor of her birthday? Better be something really, really nice too!

Jeni said...

Oh rats! Matt beat me out for the #1 comment spot so you better cross your fingers now and hope that doesn't mean my lucky streak suddenly came to an end!

Matt Conlon said...

Sorry, I'm wrong. For some reason, I thought you said that her's was tomorrow... My brother's is tomorrow. I don't know anyone else on the 18th, but my Ex was the 17, as was her mother... and my cat when I was growing up.

My Wife, two of her brothers, a few nephews are in April, and in fact, her father, who we just lost this past February, would have been another year old today.

April is an expensive month in this house, especially since the birthstone is diamond!

Again, Happy Birthday to Mrs. Suldog.

Matt Conlon said...

If it's any consolation Jeni, you beat me out of 2nd, AND 3rd as I was trying to post my amendment! :)

Karen said...

Wishing YOU a very happy birthday!

The Good Cook said...

happy birtday Suldog's WIFE.

I LOVE a good soulmate story - it just makes me sad that everyone can't find their soulmate.

Now I'm off to read the wedding of the decade, because I thought that was MINE!

Eva Gallant said...

I wish your lovely wife a happy birthday. I am sorry for her that you have a little peccadillo. But since she obviously has a sense of humor (how else could she have married you?), she probably is able to overlook that shor-coming.
Or it could just be that she bought into that "size doesn't matter" story that small peccadilloed men have been trying to sell us since probably the Garden of Eden!

Elaine said...

Happy Birthday Mrs Suldog,you poor, poor woman! (If you need after hours suppport, give me a shout. x)

TechnoBabe said...

Mrs. Suldog, you had your reasons for encouraging (insisting) your numbskull (weird) husband start blogging. Got him out of your hair, didn't it? And threw him out here for all of us to abuse and make fun of regularly. Thank you for our regular entertainment. Happy Birthday to you, Mrs. Suldog!! I admire you tremendously.

Daryl said...

I too am avoiding the little picca... sentence ... YOUR WIFE has a lovely neck and no I am not a vampire.... I send her lots and lots of wonderful birthday wishes ..

Brian Miller said...

what a wonderful tribute to the love of your life...and those are not bad pics. smiles.

happy birthday!

Tim Clancy said...

Happy birthday, Mrs. Suldog!

Michelle H. said...

Happy Birthday to YOUR WIFE come Sunday!

I'm sure she doesn't mind your peccadilloes. Now your apropos might be another matter. Go put something on to cover that up, or at least use some rash ointment.

Birthday eclairs? You sure live an interesting life, MLGF.

slommler said...

Happy Birthday to your WIFE!! I hope she has a fabulous celebration and that you get her lots and lots of nice prezzies!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday THE WIFE of Suldog. I know what your real name is and I won't tell.

CommuterDan said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WIFE!

Tara said...

Happy Birthday to

"Miss" My Wife

Love & Hugs

we should catch up soon...got lots of new reads to tell you about

Buck said...

Happy HAPPY Birthday to YOUR WIFE, Jim. And many returns.

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

I'm going to go out on a limb here and refer to YOUR WIFE as Mrs. Sullivan. Hope that's okay. Anyway, Mrs. Sullivan, I hope you have a fantastic birthday and may your degenerate husband (and I mean that in the nicest way) do something absolutely wonderful to you, er, I mean FOR you.

Take care, and enjoy!

Christina LMT said...

Happy Birthday, Jim's WIFE!!!!

You are very lucky and blessed to have each other, may each year only get better!

lime said...

i positively adore YOUR WIFE. i am so very glad i had the chance to meet her in person and find out face to face what a fantastic person she is and enjoying her humor and graciousness.

i just learned from this post that she is the one who encouraged you top blog so thank her for me because otherwise i wouldn't know either of you.

please give her a great big birthday hug from me and tell her i love her and hope her birthday is every bit as wonderful as she is.

Anonymous said...

SULDOG WIFE
I have the honor of working with YOUR HUSBAND and the laffs never stop! I will always be your personal U.K consultant and am available 24/7 for this purpose. (That's your birthday present......but if you do call at 3am with a request for a definition of an obscure British colloquialism.....I have a few of my own that you may like to hear!)
Very best wishes from me and MY WIFE of course.
H

Don't Bug Me! said...

Does THE WIFE actually read this then? Mr. DBM never reads mine - but he is still a saint for staying married to me for these past 10 years. When I got my lunch out of my bag the other day it had a little note on it - Made With Love! How sweet is that? Anyhoo, if you do read this - Happy Birthday Mrs. Suldog!

Uncle Skip, said...

I hope you wait on THE WIFE hand and foot Sunday. It is obvious that SHE deserves only the best because SHE spoils you way too much.

Uncle Skip, said...

I hope you wait on THE WIFE hand and foot Sunday. It is obvious that SHE deserves only the best because SHE spoils you way too much.

IT said...

I think I know where the peccadilloes came from. Knucklehead's dog was humping an armadillo. Ya don' wanna mess with mother nature.
Anyway happy birthday to the missus.

Eddie Bluelights said...

Happy Birthday to your wife, Jim. She deserves a medal probably, but there you go so does my wife.

Roared when I saw you almost
puking over your birthday eclairs!!

And yes I did have two appendixes - I had peritonitis when 13 and they found the cause was a kink in the intestine resembling an appendix and close to it. The wipped them both out!

Jazz said...

Happy happy birthday HIS WIFE. And thanks for making him blog!

Zuzana said...

Oh, I enjoyed this post! Happy birthday to your wife, what a great series of stories, complemented by great pictures.;)
Thank you for your recent visit and kind comment.;)

Althea said...

Happy Birthday to YOUR WIFE!

Thanks for stopping by my blog. And yes, The Sound of Music Tour was fantastic. It had the potential to be terribly cliched and the like, but it was very much enjoyable to the point where I'd like to do it again!

Fire Fox said...

Happy Birthday Ms. Suldog! Best wishes for a great year ahead!

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy (well, I guess you get the idea), Happy BIRTHDAY, Mrs. Sullivan!!! You deserve the most fabulous of days and years!!!! Hugs, Janine

i beati said...

You better cough up something monumental for that lovely young lady besides your clever self is all I must say . She is a GEM and a real gift from the BIG Man..sandy

Craig said...

Happy Birthday SULDOG'S WIFE!! What a peach!

A real life-partner is a precious and wonderful thing; congrats to you that, for whatever reason, she decided to throw her life in with yours, eh?

And now (especially given where you live) is when I briefly channel the spirit of my late grandmother -

'Twas the 18th of April in '75
Hardly a man is now alive
Who remembers that famous day and year
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere. . .

Peggy said...

Happy Birthday to Suldog's Lovely Wife. I hope the day really "takes the cake"!

Love to you both,
Peggy

Miriam said...

As always, a fine, fine tribute. Wishing YOUR WIFE a most happy and fun-filled birthday. Having just lost MY HUSBAND (similar soulmate qualities to YW's) I am both envious and very, very happy for both of you. I do hope there will be cake!!

Quirkyloon said...

Happy Birthday Mrs. Suldog!
Don't forget to eat cake! A birthday isn't a birthday without cake. And make Mr. Suldog bake the cake. Uhmm. Scratch that, make him BUY you a delicious cake. Might I suggest a Lemoncello cake from The Cheesecake Factory? To. Die. For. Happy, happy day to you!

dan fitzgerald said...

Happy Birthday to YOUR WIFE. May she learn to enjoy rolling her eyes...

Adamity_Bomb_Bomb said...

Happy birthday, MY WIFE! May you have many more!

Now I'm going to try to guess your name! Is it...Frances?! Is it...Mary?! Is it...Heather?! Is it...Ruth?! Is it...Tiffany?! Is it...Shannon?! Is it...Peggy Sue?!

Okay. I'll stop. But, seriously, MY WIFE, enjoy your birthday! Peace.

Uncle Jim said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Craig said...

OK, I finally got around to the Coed Naked Snow Jogging link; hilarious.

Altho, I gotta say, that if Jen and I were snowed into a semi-remote cabin, alone together for a 3-day weekend, I'm not sure boredom would be our problem. . . ;)

Kris, in New England said...

Oh yes Happy Birthday to THE WIFE.

Speaking as someone married to her very own soulmate...it's a sweet deal isn't it.

July 16, 1983 - best day of the century (IMO) as it's the day I married my soulmate.

So you can have best wedding of the 90s cuz I've already claimed the 80s.

Joan said...

Happy Birthday! Have a WONDERFUL day!

Shammickite said...

Another birthday and you are still putting up with the Suldog... you deserve a stiff drink and a gold medal, never mind the birthday cake.

Ericka said...

i returned from the howling wilderness just in time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Jim's WIFE! You are so obviously his rock. I hope you have a great day! Thanks for sharing him with us. ;-)

Moannie said...

A very happy birthday to you MRS. SULDOG Thank you for keeping Jim sane and allowing him so much rope.You are indeed a treasure and our Jim is lucky to have you and we are delighted to have him too.

LuluRN said...

Happy Birthday Dear Sister! I am so glad you found your soulmate, Jim! He makes the other book end to the delight you bring to our family. Yes, you have a nice neck but a great head above, a quick witted mouth there too, and a huge heart below (right between those great dibs!)
Love to you both.

Lulabelle! (my clown name to avoid being detected by blog watchers despite the fact that I have driven around with our birthname as a license plate for the past 3 years)

Bruce Coltin said...

I hope the big day is a great day for both of you.

Merisi said...

Happy Birthday, Mrs. Suldog! :-)

Tim King said...

Best birthday wishes your your Beloved. After putting up with you, she deserves them! -TimK

Janet said...

Happy Birthday, YOUR WIFE!!! I'm here on her actual birthday, but of course she won't get this comment until Monday, so I shall, regrettably, be late. Again.

Hilary said...

I'm late to the party but wanted to wish YOUR WIFE a very happy birthday. Posts which feature YOUR WIFE are always so full of love and warmth. You two are a great pair.. regardless of little peccadillo.

Sandra said...

Happy belated Birthday to THE WIFE! She is obviously a saint. But if it makes you feel more worthy of her, just remember it wouldn't be nearly as obvious how good SHE is if YOU didn't have a habit of playing at being so BAD!

I'm sorry you don't live next door -- I think this is a marriage I would enjoy observing. :)

Jenn said...

So sorry for the belated wishes but happy birthday to YOUR WIFE!!! Some great stories in the links but some I haven't had a chance to read yet & will spend time doing so asap! I can't wait to hear how you celebrated her in the highest of styles yesterday :-)

Land of shimp said...

A very, very happy birthday to the wife of Jim! You're a brave lady, and a good soul. The world was fortunate the day you joined it, and is still more fortunate with each passing day.

Jim, I think you can tell a lot about a person by how they talk about their spouse, what attributes they focus upon. I don't want to get mushy here (as you'll likely tease me mercilessly if I do) but every time you write about YOUR WIFE, I'm struck by something. It is clear that you believe her to be the coolest, most special person in all the world.

Not only is it a great gift to have anyone feel that way about you, it's a great gift to be able to feel that way about someone.

I think Rob talks about me like that, and I know I talk about him in the same manner.

So I have a secret to tell YOUR WIFE: Wife-of-Jim, your birthday is also Thanksgiving to your husband. It is very clear from what he writes here, that he will never stop being thankful for the day you were born.

Many blessings for many happy years to come!

Suldog said...

Just dropping by to say a quick "THANK YOU!" to you all for the wonderful wishes and comments. MY WIFE was thrilled to see them all (and will be thrilled further by those that have come in since, and which I will print out for her today.)

Maggie May said...

You are so mean...... taking pictures of her like that. I guess she has to have a very good sense of humour being married to you though!

Hope she had a very Happy Birthday.

Nuts in May

Thimbelle said...

Oh - please send her my belated best wishes for MANY happy returns of the day! :)

Dan Kennedy said...

Happy belated birthday, Mrs. Suldog!

Ruth and Glen said...

Wow. . . we've been away for too long and have much catching up to do here. Please pass along our sincere belated Birthday wishes to YOUR WIFE. Hope her day was terrific !

Matt Conlon said...

SO! It's just a month away now! Any big plans?

Suldog said...

Matt! How did I miss this way cool comment, seeing as it's 11 months from the last one you made on this post? Heaven knows.

Well, yes, the first thing I'm doing is quitting being a blogger, which only someone coming here to read this before I tell everyone else would know, so maybe you're the only one.

(That's not so much a gift as it is a relief, I think.)

Otherwise, I will be giving her another year of me. What more could a woman want?

(*GAG*)