Thursday, December 11, 2008

Ba-Dump Bump!




OK, class, today we're going to try something new. With any luck, it should keep you occupied until Monday. By then, I'll have something original written (maybe.)

Here's the deal: I'm going to give you the straight line to a joke. The first person to comment will supply the punchline to said joke. Then, that same person will supply a new straight line (or set-up to an entire joke, if you're feeling really ambitious) for the next commenter to supply the punch line, and so on.

For example:

If I were to say...

Why is cream so much more expensive than milk?


The first commenter would probably reply...

Because it's so damned hard to get the cows to squat over those little cartons.

And then he or she would add something like...

What is the gross national product of Albania?

To which the next person might reply...

Snot.

That's not the best joke, but you get the idea.

Now, don't feel that you have to be bound by tradition. If someone asks...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

You don't necessarily have to answer...

To get to the other side.

You could go with any of the following...

Because he was stapled to a punk rocker.

Because he saw Colonel Sanders coming down the sidewalk holding a bucket.

Because he saw an ostrich on the other side, and he had always been a leg man.


Or you could make up your very own highly original retort.

I suppose that's enough explanation. Let's begin, shall we?

So, I went to the psychiatrist the other day. He told me I was crazy. I said I wanted a second opinion. He said...


37 comments:

Angie Ledbetter said...

"No need, Sul. Look at your own cartoon shrink and see what he has to say about your fruitcake fetish."

What'd the Christmas tree say to the angel tree topper?

mlh said...

"Considering where you're sitting, I doubt you'll get through the pearly gates."

What did the frog say to the princess?

Suldog said...

Ha! I know the punchline to that one, and I don't know if any of the rest of you will be bold enough to take it. Since this is my blog, I'll do the deed.

"Well, the kiss didn't work. Let's try a blowjob!"

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?!?

lime said...

"hot damn, it's doing the breast stroke faster than michael phelps!"


what has 4 wheels and flies?

Katney said...

A garbage truck, of course.

What did the mama sardine say to the baby sardine when they saw the submarine?

Tim King said...

"It's okay, Little One. It's just a can of people."

The witness at the stand identified the defendant: "Yes, that's him. I remember his face clear as day!" At which point the defendant burst out: ...

Thimbelle said...

"You couldn't see my face. I was wearing a mask!"


"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can
think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example
of one?"

Embee said...

Brad Pitt.

(I don't know what the "real" answer is, or if there is one, but I know I'll never be able to touch Brad Pitt).

Where do sheep go for vacation?

Elaine said...

The Baaaaaaahamas.

Why do whales live underwater?

Ericka said...

"Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car."

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?

Hilary said...

Yes, the food is out of this world but there's just no atmosphere.

Since this went out of order, let's revisit Elaine's...

Why do whales live underwater?

Suldog said...

"Because they have really bad plumbing."

"They tried Cleveland, but they found that they prefer murky salt water and the possibility of being harpooned."

"Because it's better than being dead underwater."

(Elaine - If you have the actual punchline, I'd love to know what it is.)

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders?

Mushy said...

"Okay, your ugly too!"

Not original, but the funniest I've heard.

Stu said...

To hold up their pants.

This woman walks into a bar with a duck under her arm and orders a drink... The bartender says...

Hilary said...

"Will you be paying cash or should I just put it on his bill?"

What's the best thing to put into a fruitcake?

Sandy said...

I think this is the funniest thing I've ever read!

Thanks for stopping by my spot!

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?

mlh said...

To answer Hilary's joke:

"A sane thought."

What's black and white and red all over?

Suldog said...

Back to Sandy's for a moment...

"ONE."

(OK, that's not a very funny answer, but it's true. Now I'll try for funny...

Hey, wait a minute! I hear all sorts of female laughter. I guess it actually was a funny answer, at least to them. Huh.)

And now, back to MLH's...

What's black and white and red all over?

uncle jim said...

What's Black & White and red all over.... why A Newspaper.

OK How do you circumcize a whale?

Anonymous said...

"VERY CAREFULLY!"

HOW DO YOU CAPTURE A UNIQUE RABBIT?

Suldog said...

Anonymous - You are most certainly right. However, first I think you have to find a very brave mohel. Then, he grabs his moby dick...

OK, sorry. Back to you guys.

How DO you capture a unique rabbit?

Daryl said...

I am laughing so hard I think I brought up a lung, it was cheaper and easier than bringing up a child .. :::rimshot:::

How the heck are you ... thanks for the visit and next trip to my fair city we can go smell subway platforms together!

:-Daryl

jill said...

you "nique" up on it.

what did Snow White say to the PhotoHut employee?

Tim King said...

How do you capture a unique rabbit? You 'neak up on it!

How do you capture a tame rabbit?

Uncle Jim said...

OK.... Very Carefully is not the answer nor is it a moldy (Moby) dick. Think very hard.... How do you circumcize a whale? OK You folks will never get it so, here is the answer

"With four-skin divers"

Indrani said...

:)
You catch a tame rabbit the (s)tame way!

How come Koalas carry their babies on their back?

(You have a hilarious exercise going on here. I enjoyed reading the post and the comments that followed. Thanks for your wishes! Hope you will visit again. )

Elaine said...

Um...it's a bit rude I'm afraid, but you asked for it!

Q - Why do whales live under water?

A - Have you ever tried keeping a 10lb clit wet?

Back to Indrani:
How come Koalas carry their babies on their back?

Shrinky said...

The Pram(stroller) doesn't stay up the tree.

Why did Rudolf throw a sickie on Christmas Eve?

Woman in a Window said...

"Yer crazy. There you go, your second opinion!"

Daisy said...

Ok, why did Rudolf throw a sickie? Um... who NOSE? Er... because he was worried about his ELF? I give up!!

What did the ocean say to the shore?

mlh said...

"I'll meet you at the beach."

(I'm not sure that is right or not.) And I think we skipped Jill's joke so I will post it again.

What did Snow White say to the PhotoHut employee?

Luann said...

What did Snow White say to the Photo Hut employee?

Are you Happy to see me or is that a gun in your pocket?


How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Luann said...

And as funny as this is, I can't believe you didn't take the opportunity to pay tribute to Francis Albert Sinatra on what would have been his 93rd birthday yesterday.

Tim King said...

Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

For her anniversary, a man told his wife she could have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She smiled broadly and said...

Suldog said...

Thank you, class. Feel free to keep going as the spirit leads you.

And I want to know the punchline to Tim's joke, so come on!

Hilary said...

Hmm my comment disappeared in the blogosphere. I thought I did answer it with...

"Thanks, sweetie! I'll see you in two hours!"

What ticks on a wall?

Adamity_Bomb_Bomb said...

Um...it's a bit rude I'm afraid, but you asked for it!

Q - Why do whales live under water?

A - Have you ever tried keeping a 10lb clit wet?


Holy shit, laughing my ass off, here. And this was another one that got me going:

am laughing so hard I think I brought up a lung, it was cheaper and easier than bringing up a child .. :::rimshot:::

Rimshot, indeed. So unexpectedly stoopid, it's hilarious.

Nice blog you got here, man.