Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Here's Something That Has Nothing To Do With Basketball (Except For The Bear)

This is for all of you folks who are ready to tear out your own liver if I write another basketball post. I will be doing so - probably as soon as tomorrow - but I'm in no hurry to see you ripping out your internal organs, so this might release some of that pressure.

(Those of you who are ready to tear out someone else's liver, and perhaps eat it with some fava beans, are on your own.)

First, I want you to try and identify what in hell this is.

I know it's out-of-focus. I'm one of the world's worst photographers. Beyond aiming the camera and pushing down the button, I have no clue. Try to figure it out, though. It's something you might see often, but I have cleverly taken a close-up photo of one particular part of it that you probably never see, so how in hell would you be able to figure out what it is? I don't know. I'm just filling space here, folks. My head is full of basketball. Getting anything else out of it at this point is a chore.

I'll give you the answer down below, at the end of whatever this is.

Meanwhile, here is a shot I took of a weed.

It's a big weed, somewhat pretty as weeds go. I assume it's a weed, anyway. I know about as much concerning botany as I do concerning photography. I took a picture of it because I thought that maybe you could identify it. Any clue? It's growing by the side of my house, it stands almost three feet tall, and if it turns out I can get high from it, I'm willing to share.

Here are some more shots of things that I have no idea what they are, but they're growing in my yard.

My best guess is ivy of some sort, possibly poisonous. It's growing in a pile of wood by my back fence.

These may be lilies. Or not.

I think this is some sort of bean plant, growing in amongst some more possible lilies. Then again, I think I'm a writer, so my best guesses are often wildly unrealistic.

So, if you have any clue as to what these things are (aside from the subjects of rotten photos) I'd appreciate you telling me. I will eat, smoke, or make insulting faces at these plants depending upon the information I receive from you.

Now, before we get to the answer concerning the first horrible photo, here is a big old white bear cheering on the Celtics.

His name is Sam. He looks much better in person.

And here is what the first photograph is part of.

Yes, it's a milk carton! No doubt, by this point in the proceedings, some of you would like to see my face on the side of one.

See? There are some things worse than basketball talk.

Soon, with more basketball stuff.


Rich said...

Does YOUR WIFE know you've been smoking some O dat weed?

CrazyCath said...

OK. I'll give this a shot. I have not been over for ages (sorry) but I knew you wouldn't miss me because I know as much about basketball as you claim to about plants / photography. And I know zilch about basketball or baseball. I can't even work out which is which sometimes. Baseball is the one with the stick, BASEBALL caps and BASE and basket ball is the one with the BASKET. Right? That's a smuch as I know.

So... first plant - definitely a weed and you can smoke it if you like but I doubt you will get high.
Second picture - two plants. One looks either ivy related or clematis type, the other looks suspiciously honeysuckle type.

Third one - possibly lilies but I think they are more related to the daff bulb type - I don't know the name but they have a beautiful fiery orange flower. Cut away some of the greenery and that will allow more flowers to come (on long stalks). Don't cut too much - just thinning.

Fourth - possibly bean plant. Dunno.

Fifth - Sam looks great.

Finally - would never have guessed. I thought it was a test print when you put a new cartridge in the printer. :0/

Keep smiling. And keep posting OTHER than basket or baseball or whatever! Then I can understand it. lol

lime said...

my botanical knowledge and skill is beneath your photogrpahy skill so i am afraid i am of no help to you. i did guess the mystery photo as some sort of ink test pattern like when you put a new cartridge in your printer and it runs off a sheet to make sure it works. i think that was sort of close, i just didn't realize where the test pattern was located. again, proof of my ability to retain utterly useless knowledge but forget anythgin that might be helpful.

Sharfa said...

First one looks like milkweed. You'll know for sure if it eventually has brown pods on it. Butterflies like to lay their eggs on these.
Third one could be tiger lilies.
I thought the milk carton was a ph test scale or sumptin like that.

Janet said...

I think crazycath is right - they are called daylilies and will be a bright orange. They're smaller than regular lilies and will spread prolifically if allowed. I allow them, so of course, they remain unprolific.
I have that weed but I don't know what the name of it is. It will get about 5 feet tall if you let it. However, you can yank it out of the ground with relative ease. Some weeds I like, if they have flowers, but big giant things that serve no purpose (like certain corporations) should be removed and destroyed.

Buck said...

You are uniquely qualified to manufacture silk purses out of pigs ears. But ya know that, right?

I felt I HAD to tell ya, though. ;-)

Chucka Stone Designs said...

Photo 2 looks like milkweed to me but there is no real way to know unless you go out & snap the stem in half and this nasty sticky white milk-like stuff pours out onto your hands. Its gross. Smells kinda nasty too.

3 shiny leaves together usually means some kind of poisonous plant.

That is the extent of my knowledge. I would not smoke any of these, it would likely do nothing fun. Bummer.

Rooster said...

Give a bored guy a new camera to play with, and look what happens! Entertaining post Sul!

I'd tell you which ones to smoke, but I'm afraid you might believe me. I can tell you that, from teh photos, it appears the plants are all using some sort of photosynthesis to acquire food.

Pretty smart, aren't I?

Chris Stone said...

I wouldn't recommend smoking poison ivy. But if you do... you will do it in relative peace as no one would ask for any.

Hilary said...

Fine! Post about basketball, weed(s) and mystery images. You're entertaining no matter what.

Sandra Ree said...

I'm laughing so hard I can't post. Really, my husband is looking at me like I'm crazy, little does he know who is! lol! Good one Sul!

BurningSky said...

I have no idea what that first weed is, but I know that my boss told me to remove one of a very similar size from the front of the store last year and it took me about fifteen minutes to cut through the main stalk with a dull box cutter. If you want to get rid of it, I suggest using something sharper..:-)

Suldog said...

Thanks for the info, folks. If it's milkweed, that's kind of cool. I remember being a kid and tearing open the pods on those things and blowing the seeds around (which is probably why there's one in my yard now, as a matter of fact.)

As for the possible bean plant, it must have been something to eat, because something ate it. We've had some skunks around. Maybe it was especially toothsome as a treat for stinky creatures.

And the lilies have begun blooming.

I haven't touched the ivy, possibly poisonous.