Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Still The Worst Year EVER (But Getting Better)

2007, known at this address until further notice as The Worst Year EVER, has been upgraded to - in precise medical terms - not quite as bad as having your toes chewed off by a wolverine.

MY WIFE went to work today, although it probably had more to do with her sense of duty to her co-workers than her actually being well enough to leave the house. When she coughs, it still sounds like her lungs are full of small curd cottage cheese.

By the way, I bought her some Robitussin yesterday and we were both mystified as to how a cough suppressant and an expectorant can be included in the same bottle and both be effective. She told me this morning how it works. While you're sleeping, the cough is stifled somewhat but the expectorant forces great globs of mucus out through your nose and onto your pillow.

(This concludes the "Oh Sweet Jesus, why did you have to put that picture into my head?" portion of our program. Next up, however, is the "Oh Sweet Jesus, I'd rather have the other picture back again!" segment, so you've been warned.)

I'm doing fairly OK. It appears that my green curry cure worked. I carpet-bombed the miserable cold and flu germs with serious doses of hot peppers, before they could get any sort of a foothold, and I seem to have avoided the worst. That is, at least as far as head and lungs are concerned. The other end of things has now been the recipient of some serious searing heat. This year has now officially become a pain in the ass.


How about something less graphic and more cheery? OK, here you go.

My friend, Mandy Nelson, wife of my co-worker Dan, has a chance to make some serious scratch. She will be the participant in tonight's Foxwoods Take-A-Shot promotion during the Celtics game against Cleveland.

Here's how it works. She will first have a chance to shoot a three-pointer. If she makes it, she wins $7,777. She will then have a chance to make a shot from halfcourt for an additional $70,000.

Mandy is a young thirty-something mom, two ultra-cute pre-school daughters at home, so she wouldn't seem the type to have much hope at something like this. However, I have it on good authority that she played some b-ball in college, so she may have a real chance at making the money. I don't know how rusty her skills are these days, but I'll be watching and saying a prayer.

(Funny - Just as I finished writing the above, Mandy called here. She's also one of our voice talents and she needed some pronunciation help on a script. She said that Dan told her that there was no pressure, just have fun, but, gee, if you make the shot for $70,000 that's a life-changing sort of thing. Yup - no pressure whatsoever.)


That's all for today. I was going to deliver a rather maudlin observation concerning streets that are now lined with deornamented Christmas trees awaiting removal by the trash collectors, but you don't need that.
See you tomorrow or maybe the next day, possibly with something resembling an actual story! Wouldn't that be a nice change of pace? Yes, I believe it would be.


Rhea said...

Please make this the last time in 2007 that you mention small curd cottage cheese.

Suldog said...

Well, OK, I promise. However, if I do a piece that's actually about cottage cheese, I might have to renege.

sween said...

Mmmmm... small curd cottage cheese...

The Omnipotent Q said...

Chin up, my friend. Things will get better this year....