Everything Gets Better

"To be or not to be" isn’t the question. That’s already been decided. You are. And, once you are, you remain so. The question, instead, is, "Where?", with a follow-up of "How do I get there?"

"Where?" is all-important. You can decide to be or not to be in this world, but once you leave here, the choice of where you’ll spend eternity is out of your hands. Therefore, it’s best to decide, while you still have a chance, where you might like to go after this.

If you’re an atheist, you probably believe that the only choice you have in the matter is where you’ll be taking a dirt nap. You’re welcome to indulge in that dreary fantasy, if you like, but I prefer to believe that there are other options available aside from becoming worm food.

(By the way, I promised you a religious screed a short while back. In case you haven’t realized it yet, let me tell you: this is it. To be truthful, it’s not so much a screed as it is a gentle philosophy. However, feel free to call it a screed, a rant, or even Henry, if it will help you to enjoy it.)

So, "Where?" depends upon what you choose to believe. So does "How do I get there?"

Everything gets better.

That’s my firm belief. No matter what you’re going through now, or what has transpired in the past, or what you expect may happen in your future, everything gets better.

You get what you need.

This is another firm belief of mine. You may not realize it while it’s happening, and you may think you’re receiving something totally unnecessary and horrible, but whatever you get is what you need now or will need later. That which you think is a bother will likely turn out to be a boon. Conversely, what you desire with all of your heart is not necessarily good for you.

Everything gets better.

Of course, everything doesn’t continually get better. Life has ups and downs, and we have to experience the downs. Life will sometimes get worse. However, it will always get better following that. When I say that everything gets better, I mean that for every down you will sooner or later experience a comeback, a bettering of your situation. All you have to do is have faith and wait for it.

We’ll get around to the faith part of that proposition later. It's important. But, first...

You get what you need.

The eminent philosopher, Jagger, has espoused a similar theory (in partnership with his sometime co-theorist, Richards) but I'll present my own anecdotal evidence. This is only one of many examples from my own life, but it's the best I have to offer.

Throughout my teen years, and on into my twenties, I experimented with drugs. Really, though, 'experimented' is hardly the right word. Once is an experiment, and the second time might be useful as a possible attempt at replication of the initial results, but when you get into hundreds of repetitions you pretty much know the result before doing the experimenting. I don't want to call it 'abuse'; that has a negative connotation that shouldn't be attached to such an enjoyable activity. So, I'll still say, 'experimented', although it isn't quite correct.

During most of that time, I was involved in a dead-end relationship. I had some fun in the company of the woman with whom I was in the relationship, and she enjoyed much of her time with me, also, but we weren't truly suited for a life together. We fought, often, and had irreconcilable differences of opinion concerning issues of some weight, e.g., marriage. She wanted to get hitched, and I didn't. After a while, that became the major bone of contention between us, and every conversation sooner or later devolved into an argument concerning wedlock. Had we both been sober, we might have split up years earlier or killed each other. It was a toss-up.

One year, in December, she went to visit friends in Florida. I awaited her return which was scheduled for Christmas Eve. What I got, instead, was a letter, received two days before Christmas, telling me that she had fallen in love with someone in Florida and she was staying there.

I had been in this relationship for a long time and we had lived through some very monumental problems together. While it was no doubt best for us to pursue other avenues separately, it was akin to serious drug withdrawal for me. I was in shock, basically. I trudged around the streets mumbling, didn't eat, and more-or-less sunk into clinical depression. I got in touch with her and tried to effect a reconciliation - to no avail - and I even went so far as to pray to Saint Jude, the patron saint of lost causes.

The answer to my prayers came approximately one month later when I met MY (future) WIFE. She wasn't what I had prayed for, but she was what I needed. She was a better answer to my prayers than anything I had imagined or requested.

And my entire life has been that way. I've rarely gotten exactly what I prayed for, but I've always gotten exactly what I needed. It may not have come when I wanted it, but it came when I absolutely needed it. I wasn't always thankful when whatever it was came, but I have always found reason to be thankful later.

Your mileage may seem to vary, but I'm willing to bet that it doesn't in reality. If you've been the type to pray fervently, take a good hard look at your prayers and the answers you received to them. I'm willing to bet that few of them have been answered in the exact way you might have wanted, but I'll go double-or-nothing that most have resulted in you receiving something you needed.

If it doesn't appear that way, I contend that you're not viewing it correctly. However, let's say that you're right and you've never been given any answers. In that case, I'll ask you to rely on the more important part of what I'm telling you here.

Everything gets better.

No matter how bad things have become, they will get better. Following every instance in your life wherein you received bad news or found yourself in a dire situation, have you not come out the other end of the experience once again gaining some measure of happiness? Hasn't every down been followed by an up? If you'll honestly review your life, you'll see that it's so. Unless...

Are you down now? Are you despondent? Are you currently dealing with bad news? Then what I'm saying may appear to be bullshit. However, I ask you to seriously look back upon every bad time in your life and see where you were a bit later. Did you not recover from that bad time? Or has life been one unrelenting cesspool of hideous experiences? I rather doubt the latter has been the case. Keeping past successful escapes in mind will get you through the present misery. In any case, keep this advice in mind for now, and see what you think of it in a day or a week or a month. I'm sure you'll find that I'm right, that you experienced happiness again.

Everything gets better.

Now, you might think you have a topper for me. Here's a reasonable question...

"What about death, Jim? Isn't that the ultimate downer? You're not seriously trying to tell me that has an upside, are you?"

Well, yes, I am.

See, all of the above is predicated upon my rock-solid belief in Jesus Christ as my savior. Without such a belief, it IS all poppycock. Obviously, without a savior or an afterlife, death is the final insult. But, since I have a belief in Jesus, I know that even death gets better. I know that no matter how horrible my life becomes, it will ultimately lead to an eternity of better.

Everything gets better.

It does here on Earth, too, for the most part. All downs in your life will be followed by ups. Both will continue to happen. Death, the worst thing that can happen, will be followed by the best thing that can happen - IF you believe.

Your particular belief system, if it doesn't include Jesus Christ, may also lead you to the belief that all will get better eventually. If so, more power to you. I happen to believe that my belief is the only one that makes this truly work, but if your watercraft gains buoyancy via your opposite belief, I won't harsh your buzz. Well, except to tell you that you're dead wrong, and I do mean dead. Anyway, let's get back to Jesus.

Everything gets better.

If there is one overwhelming lesson in The Bible, it is that everything gets better. No matter what horrible and hideous things the Lord's people go through, the end result is always better.

Joseph has his coat stolen and he gets sold into slavery by his brothers? No sweat. He travels to Egypt, becomes a big man there, and finally saves the relatives who betrayed him.

Moses, as an infant, is set adrift on a river? Pshaw. He is found by royalty and becomes the man who leads his entire people out of slavery and despair.

Job loses all of his wealth and is covered in boils? No biggie. He's okie-dokie by the end of the tale. He's had his riches returned and then some.

Adam & Eve must vacate paradise, and mankind as a whole is denied such an idyllic existence? A savior is provided, and all we need do is believe in that savior to reclaim paradise.

Time after time after time, things get better.

Granted, the second most obvious lesson in The Bible is that patience is worth having, as some of the getting better didn't happen for a loooooooong while, but everything eventually got better for those who believed. And it still does. It always will.

And that's what I'm leaving you with, my friends. These lessons took a long time to pound their way into my thick skull, so I figured I'd share them with you and save you some hassle. If you already knew these things, I'm glad. If not, you're welcome.

If you want to try and argue against them, don't bother. You'll necessarily have to argue non-Christianity, at the least, and perhaps atheism. I won't buy any arguments based upon such non-belief (much as I suppose you might not buy my faith-based arguments. Fair enough. I'm happy, though. How about you?)

And that's that for a while. MY WIFE and I are vacationing soon, so I don't expect to be publishing anything until I come back to work, which will be on the 18th. Until then, I'll expect everything to happen...

(relatively) Soon, with more better stuff.

So should you.