Duh!

The title of this piece is included in the text of my latest column in the Boston Herald.

(Journalism ain't what it used to be! Of course, my being on the printed page anywhere is enough to prove that.)

Anyway, there are two instances of "duh" in my Herald piece, but there are about 550 other words, too, so you won't know what those are - or what order they appear in - unless you go read the piece, which I would appreciate.

Thanks for stopping by here, of course.

Soon, with more better stuff (duh!)

Two Birds With One Stone

There's this guy who wants to build a wall. Maybe you've heard of him - Donald Trump? Well, I don't think spending all that money for just a wall is a very good investment. Therefore, I have come up with a way we can have both border security AND solve another problem at the same time.

You'll have to go to the Boston Herald to find out what the other problem is, as well as find out how I propose to solve it via Mr. Trump's wall. If I do say so myself - and since no one else is saying it, it must be me - I think it's genius. You shouldn't mind a couple of clicks to reach genius.

As always, I thank you for stopping by here. If you like the piece, and want to share my genius with the world, then remember to click on the little blue Facebook icon and send it on its merry way to your Facebook friends (or enemies, if you think I'm just an idiot.)

Soon, with more better stuff.

 

No Clue

That's what I'm giving you today - no clue. That way, you'll have to go to the Boston Herald to find out what I wrote about over there.

Of course, the possibility exists that you'll go there, read a few sentences, then say, "Why the hell would I care about this?" If that's the case, send me a self-addressed stamped envelope and I'll refund your money. But I think you might enjoy it.

In any case, I thank you for continuing to put up with me. God bless and - if you're of a nationality that has a holiday today - enjoy the holiday (whatever it may be called.)

Oops! I think I just gave you a clue, damn it.

Soon, with more better stuff.

George "The Animal" Steele, 1937 - 2017

I am terribly saddened to hear of the passing of George "The Animal" Steele. He died today, just shy of his 80th birthday, leaving behind three children and his wife of 61 years, Pat.

[The Animal, with his doll, Mine!]

Those who have never enjoyed professional wrestling may think this is some sort of joke, but I assure you it isn't. George "The Animal" Steele was a wonderful performer, one of my all-time favorites, and definitely one of the more fascinating characters in that field of entertainment.

His real name was Jim Myers. Outside of the ring, he was a school teacher at Madison High School in Michigan. As a matter of fact, he earned a bachelor of science from Michigan State and then a master's from Central Michigan. This man who looked for all the world as though he might be the missing link was actually highly intelligent.

His work in the ring was unique. Blessed as he was with a thick pelt of back and chest hair, and affecting a shaven head, he played the part of a menacing imbecile. His career began as a heel (the bad guy) and he challenged the babyfaces (good guys) as a super-strong neanderthal without any morality. He would chew on the ring turnbuckles and spit out the padding, baring them to use as a weapon against his opponents, driving their heads into the exposed metal. He would often use a "foreign object" - a piece of metal or wood - to gouge his opposition, then - when the referee tried to inspect his body for a weapon - he would climb up the ropes, face the audience, and stick the weapon IN HIS MOUTH so everyone in the audience could see it but the referee, inspecting his trunks, could not. This never failed to crack me up. It was genius stuff.

As you can see from the photo, he sported a GREEN tongue. The effect was achieved, so I hear, from eating Clorets before each match. To those who bought the act as real, it was further evidence of his being a freakish subhuman.

His interviews were full of "Duh-Da! YOU! You GO!" and other utterances as would befit a moronic beast. They were absolutely hilarious to anyone who knew that he was, in fact, a school teacher.

Later in his ring life, he was turned into a fan favorite. Children especially adored his antics. He was a gigantic hairy child, to them. He began coming to the ring carrying the doll seen above. When an interviewer asked him the doll's name, The Animal said, "MINE! MINE!", as though he were afraid someone was going to steal his doll, and that became the doll's name - Mine.

Whenever I had the opportunity to see a show with him in it, he never disappointed. I attending a house show (non-televised show) in the town of Randolph, Massachusetts. It was a very small arena, and the show was a benefit for the local Boy Scouts, as I recall. The Animal was the headliner, facing former WWF champion (and bad guy, because this was the early 1980s and he was a Russian) Ivan Koloff. Most of the match took place outside of the ring. The Animal was all over the place, getting to just about every seating area in that small gym, and giving all of the paying customers their money's worth. He especially made the evening for the younger fans, getting to see this huge friendly hairy child up-close-and-personal.

One other thing of note: The Animal was a devout Christian. I am, too, so found this especially amusing, considering his act. He looked like a murderer but he was - by all accounts - a real gentleman when not putting on his act.

I guess that's about it. I wanted to say something because he was one of my favorites of all-time.

Requiem En Pace, Animal.

Here's a clip of him in action, when he was a heel, against that goody-goody Hulk Hogan. You know who I was rooting for.

Soon, with more better turnbuckle stuffing.

Grumpy Old Man Writes Again

MY WIFE sometimes reads my stuff and says, "You sound like a grumpy old man."

I sometimes reply, "True, but I'm a grumpy old man with a sense of humor!"

That sort of exchange applied to her reading of the piece published in today's Boston Herald. In it, I sound like a grumpy old man with a sense of humor.

See for yourself!

Now, if you go there and like what I have to say - that is, if it makes you laugh once or twice, which is my goal - then I'd appreciate it if you tell the Herald so in some way or another. If you have a Facebook account, a good way to do that is to click onto the little blue Facebook link at the bottom of the column and then share the column with others. There are similar links to Twitter, Reddit, and other things that I (being a grumpy old man, albeit with a sense of humor) know nothing about. Or you could leave a comment at the website. Or you could write an actual letter to the editor (which is the ultimate way to tell them you like me and will go far in making up for an abundance of sins - if I've read my Bible correctly, which is always questionable.*)

That's about it from here, so you should go there. And I thank you.

Soon, with more better stuff.

* 1 Peter 4:8 and, of course, using Bible verses for my own enrichment isn't quite right, but then neither am I.

Sports Stuff

That's what you'll find in my column today in the Boston Herald. However, if that's enough to stop you from heading over there, then maybe you're the sort of person I'm talking about in the column.

Aha! Did I intrigue you? Hope so.

Thanks for being such a loyal reader. I truly appreciate it.

Soon, with more better stuff.

Just When You Think You Know All The Answers, I Change The Questions!*

What do Rowdy Roddy Piper...

... and the New England Patriots...

... have in common? Read my column in today's Boston Herald and find out!

Here's a handy-dandy link!

Thanks for stopping by. Go Pats!

Soon, with more Super Bowl victories (I hope).

*Rowdy Roddy Piper, circa 1980