Wednesday, January 08, 2014
I haven't done one of these in a long time. If you find it distressing, rest assured I'll probably not do another one for an even longer time. It comes courtesy of Jenny Woolf, a wonderful travel writer from England, but don't go to her place and curse her out for having subjected you to this. She only suggested that anyone who wanted to answer the questions could do so; she did not specifically say, "Hey, Suldog, would you please bore the hell out of everyone by answering these 11 questions?"
So, having told you that what you're about to read is not likely to be entertaining, and might actually bore the hell out of you, here goes nothing - and I sincerely mean that.
1. If there is one candy left in the box, do you have to eat it, or can you leave it sitting there all alone for the next few weeks?
There is never one candy left in my box.
2. What do you want to remember most of all, if you survive to be very old?
I am very old. I wish I could remember why I decided to do this meme.
3. Would you enjoy being a very rich and famous celebrity?
You mean I'm not? Bummer.
4. Which of the photos in this post is your favorite and why do you like it?
Photos? Where? Oh, OK, here's one. Since it's the only one, it's my favorite.
5.What piece of music do you personally find most emotionally moving?
6. How do you deal with anxiety, depression and bad times?
I pretend I'm Dominick the Christmas Donkey.
7. What do you love doing that bores everyone else stiff?
I think that's patently obvious by now.
8. Did you ever encounter an inanimate object that seemed to have a will of its own?
This blog. Also, Mitt Romney.
9. What is your very favorite hotel or restaurant?
Deadly serious: my favorite restaurant is The Pleasant Cafe in Roslindale, Massachusetts. They won't let me sleep there, so I can't pass judgment on its fitness as a hotel.
10. Do you think prisoners who have committed particularly vile crimes should be segregated in jail for their own safety?
I think they should be segregated in jail for my safety.
11. What do you wish you had known when you were 18?
What a boring old fart I'd be by the time I was 56. I assumed I was going to be a rock star and dead for the last 9 or 10 years. Instead, here I am, sitting at a computer in my underwear. How the computer got into my underwear, I'll never know.
And now, if you survived that torture, here's your reward. I am going to give YOU some questions to answer. You can ignore them - if you have any brains - but if you decide to answer them, please let me know so I can come to your place and make fun of you.
1 - Have you ever voluntarily put anything up your nose aside from drugs?
2 - Is it still there?
3 - How many real teeth (that is, not store bought) do you have in your mouth?
(If you have them anywhere else, please elucidate.)
4 - If you could take any two things on the planet and staple them together, what would they be?
5 - Do you think plants can hear you think?
6 - How many rocks are in your house?
7 - If I asked you to shove a toy surprise up my ass and call me Crackerjack, would you compare and contrast Napoleon's march on Moscow with Ritchie Blackmore's guitar solo on Highway Star?
8 - Why are you still reading this?
9 - Do you think it's going to get better?
10 - Why is a kumquat not entirely unlike a porcupine?
11 - When do you think the world will end?
(I think it ended in 2006 but we haven't had brains enough to notice.)
If you answer these questions, soon, with more better stuff, then it will be that.