Wednesday, January 08, 2014

11 Questions


I haven't done one of these in a long time. If you find it distressing, rest assured I'll probably not do another one for an even longer time. It comes courtesy of Jenny Woolf, a wonderful travel writer from England, but don't go to her place and curse her out for having subjected you to this. She only suggested that anyone who wanted to answer the questions could do so; she did not specifically say, "Hey, Suldog, would you please bore the hell out of everyone by answering these 11 questions?"

So, having told you that what you're about to read is not likely to be entertaining, and might actually bore the hell out of you, here goes nothing - and I sincerely mean that.


1.  If there is one candy left in the box, do you have to eat it, or can you leave it sitting there all alone for the next few weeks?

There is never one candy left in my box.


2. What do you want to remember most of all, if you survive to be very old?

I am very old. I wish I could remember why I decided to do this meme.


3. Would you enjoy being a very rich and famous celebrity?

You mean I'm not? Bummer.



4. Which of the photos in this post is your favorite and why do you like it?

Photos? Where? Oh, OK, here's one. Since it's the only one, it's my favorite.






5.What piece of music do you personally find most emotionally moving?




6. How do you deal with anxiety, depression and bad times?

I pretend I'm Dominick the Christmas Donkey.



7. What do you love doing that bores everyone else stiff?

I think that's patently obvious by now.



8. Did you ever encounter an inanimate object that seemed to have a will of its own?

This blog. Also, Mitt Romney.


9. What is your very favorite hotel or restaurant?

Deadly serious: my favorite restaurant is The Pleasant Cafe in Roslindale, Massachusetts. They won't let me sleep there, so I can't pass judgment on its fitness as a hotel.



10.  Do you think prisoners who have committed particularly vile crimes should be segregated in jail for their own safety?

I think they should be segregated in jail for my safety.



11. What do you wish you had known when you were 18?

What a boring old fart I'd be by the time I was 56. I assumed I was going to be a rock star and dead for the last 9 or 10 years. Instead, here I am, sitting at a computer in my underwear. How the computer got into my underwear, I'll never know.

And now, if you survived that torture, here's your reward. I am going to give YOU some questions to answer. You can ignore them - if you have any brains - but if you decide to answer them, please let me know so I can come to your place and make fun of you.

1 - Have you ever voluntarily put anything up your nose aside from drugs?

2 - Is it still there?

3 - How many real teeth (that is, not store bought) do you have in your mouth?

(If you have them anywhere else, please elucidate.)

4 - If you could take any two things on the planet and staple them together, what would they be?

5 - Do you think plants can hear you think?

6 - How many rocks are in your house?

7 - If I asked you to shove a toy surprise up my ass and call me Crackerjack, would you compare and contrast Napoleon's march on Moscow with Ritchie Blackmore's guitar solo on Highway Star?

8 - Why are you still reading this?

9 - Do you think it's going to get better?

10 - Why is a kumquat not entirely unlike a porcupine?

11 - When do you think the world will end?

(I think it ended in 2006 but we haven't had brains enough to notice.)

If you answer these questions, soon, with more better stuff, then it will be that.


20 comments:

Craig said...

1 - Does Vick's Vapo-Rub count as drugs?

2 - Not the same glob I put there when I was 6

3 - Uh, 27? But a bunch of 'em have crowns.

4 - I'm tempted to say something vaguely political, like Barry-O and Rush Limbaugh. . . Oh, what the hell. . . yes, yes I will. . .

5 - Sssh! The plants'll hear ya!

6 - Depends whether or not 7M has his guitar out. . .

7 - I wouldn't do it even if you didn't

8 - God only knows; I sure as hell don't. . .

9 - I've got to admit, it's getting better; it's getting better all the time (can't get no worse); tho you sure couldn't tell it by me. . .

10 - 'Kumquat' sounds vaguely obscene, doesn't it? I mean, doesn't it? Kumquat. . . heh. . .

11 - 43

Buck said...

Ooooh! A meme! Look... shiny!

Pat - Arkansas said...

Some things didn't change while I was away. You're still certifiable!

Re: Your Q6.. do I need to count the ones in my head?

Stay warm!

joeh said...

Where is Suldog, and what have you done with him?

Michelle H. said...

Here's mine:

http://thesurlywriter.blogspot.com/2014/01/11-questions.html

Jackie said...

"....I'll probably not do another one for an even longer time."
Uh. OK. Thanks.
Smiling....

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

Really?

I'd've commented sooner but I had to take GS to the Doc for a routine visit.
Maybe I should call them normal visits, seeing that normal has a different meaning for just about everyone.
There is nothing calamitous to report.

I think (in spite of what others say, I really do think) I will pass up this opportunity.
But I reserve the right to change my mind.

messymimi said...

Um. i might play along. No promises, except that you might not like my answers.

Suldog said...

Craig - I said I would make fun of you at your place, not here. Since you have already made fun of yourself here, never mind :-)

Buck - Yes, it is.

Pat - Yes, I am. As for #6, only if you're inside.

Joe - I know, I know.

Michelle - I am on my way over RIGHT NOW! Well, OK, after the next three responses to other folk.

Jackie - Yes, it is, I am, I know, I know, and I don't blame you.

(not my uncle) Skip - It is entirely voluntary. If your mind soils itself, by all means change it.

Mimi - After what I gave you to slog through, I cannot expect you to give me answers I will like...


Jackie said...

OK.
I'll play.

Have you ever voluntarily put anything up your nose aside from drugs?
Yes. When I was in the 4th grade and in the classroom at school, I had a little plastic pearl necklace that broke. I decided that a good place for one of the pearls was in my nose (temporarily.)
I was utterly in a panic when I couldn’t get it out. What to do? I’m sitting at my pupil’s desk, and I meekly raise my hand and say, “Ms. Alva. I have a pearl stuck in my nose.”
I’ll never forget it to this day. I was mortified…and scared. A nine-year-old girl with the intelligence of a sponge, apparently, and I stick a pearl in my nose. Ms. Alva helped me get it out. I won’t go into details about how that happened, but you know that I was (and probably still am) the laughing stock of all my classmates. Shaking my head….

Is it still there?
I have no idea where it is nor do I care.

How many real teeth (that is, not store bought) do you have in your mouth?
I would have to go to the mirror and count them or Google how many adult teeth are in one’s mouth.
So, being the lazy slug (and apparently not worthy of any trivia question out there)….I will Google it and BRB.
Adult teeth (minus wisdom teeth): 32
In my mouth: 28 I had to have some extricated in order for the braces that I had as a child to be effective. Apparently, I have a small mouth (to go along with my brain. Any kid that puts a pearl in her nose is brain-deprived.)

If you could take any two things on the planet and staple them together, what would they be?
I’m putting waaaaay too much thought into this. (I muttered that to myself as I went to the mirror to count my bloomin’ teeth! ) Hmmmm.
My reading glasses to my head. I have a pair of readers in every room of this house and in each glove compartment of our vehicles. Why can’t I find a pair when I need them!

Do you think plants can hear you think?
I don’t know, but I will ask them. I am pretty sure they hear me when I speak. I mean, doesn’t everyone listen to every word Jackie says?

How many rocks are in your house?
I have paper and scissors. I know there is a rock here somewhere.

If I asked you to shove a toy surprise up my ass and call me Crackerjack, would you compare and contrast Napoleon's march on Moscow with Ritchie Blackmore's guitar solo on Highway Star?
You would have to ask me that face to face and eyeball to eyeball. Then, I would consider giving you a comparison and a contrast.

Why are you still reading this?
I always read everything you write. (Remember the intelligence of the 9-year-old. Still got it.)

Do you think it's going to get better?
What? My intelligence or this meme.
No.
Yes. Nowhere to go but up from here.

Why is a kumquat not entirely unlike a porcupine?
I love those double negatives. I sit here and take out the “not” and then the “un”…just to try and decipher this crap. They are both thorny

When do you think the world will end?
I do not know. I know that preparations for any important event are necessary.
That one is an event of importance that will be unprecedented.

There is probably no way anyone (other than you, Jim) will read all this.
But that’s OK. It’s always good to chat with you.
Thanks for the smiles.
J.

Jenny Woolf said...

Haha! Love your answers, they are definitely the most original ones. Thank you for remembering them. Oh, I mean, I suppose you kept the link to my blog.
My answers to yours are as follows:
1. Yes
2. Yes
3. If I told, my disguise would be blown.
4. Our government and a remote island
5. I hope they can
6. rocks of what?
7. I'm sorry, sir, I don't quite understand that question.
8. Because I am the persevering type.
9. But tactful rather than honest
10. That's really complicated question. Does that mean it IS like one or it ISN'T like one. You'll have to wait while I figure out the question so I can answer it with proper care and attention.
11. Seriously, if these meatheads who deny climate change get their way....

Saz said...

either they are all ignoring your instructions or purposefully, cos they want you to rip them apart with your wit! did I say wit? hmmm..
if i get bored i;ll play! x over at mine though..
gotto fill it with summat

saz x

Ami said...

This will be on my blog for tomorrow, 1/11/2014.

It's possible that you're missing a fairly large chunk of attic insulation, Jim.

lotta joy said...

I put my finger up my nose because no one else will, and the only "real" tooth is my head is a pretty gold one far in the back. Why do I say it's real? Because the undertaker won't be interested in jerking out my regular teeth once I'm dead. Just the gold one. And that's as real as it gets.

Ami said...

It's on my blog. I'm still wondering why.

Joanna Jenkins said...

You always crack me up, Jim.
Happy New Year, jj

Shammickite said...

If you are looking for answers to that ridiculous meme, here are mine:
1. the occasional finger,
2. 'course not, don't be silly. What do you think I'm using to type this?
3. Lots. And also some gruesome looking wisdom teeth in a box in the basement. Need to stay wise.
4. My stapler is out of staples.
5. Indubitably.
6. Box full of rocks scooped from Middle Cove Beach in Newfoundland. Every time I come back to Ontario there are some rocks in my luggage. Don't ask why.
7. NO!
8. ummmm......
9. Better than what?
10. If my stapler worked, I'd staple them together.
11. When the Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

Chris said...

"Mitt Romney." Hilarious!

Pop on over to my place . . . you get a mention this time around.

Tim King said...

This is not intelligent enough to post at my own blog. But to clutter up your comments section? Yeah, no problem.

1 - Have you ever voluntarily put anything up your nose aside from drugs?

Just my finger.

2 - Is it still there?

Why? Do you need it for something?

3 - How many real teeth (that is, not store bought) do you have in your mouth?

84— Uh no. Sorry. That's how many keys on a piano keyboard, not counting my wisdom keys, which I've had removed.

4 - If you could take any two things on the planet and staple them together, what would they be?

Unfortunately, I couldn't, because I've run out of staples.

5 - Do you think plants can hear you think?

Only the corn stalks. That why i always think in whispers around them.

6 - How many rocks are in your house?

Three, not including the valuable ones.

7 - If I asked you to shove a toy surprise up my ass and call me Crackerjack, would you compare and contrast Napoleon's march on Moscow with Ritchie Blackmore's guitar solo on Highway Star?

No.

8 - Why are you still reading this?

It's like watching a car accident.

9 - Do you think it's going to get better?

Well, that would be one way to get me to stop.

10 - Why is a kumquat not entirely unlike a porcupine?

Eek! He's stark ravin' mad! (Here, why don't you have a nice cup of tea?)

11 - When do you think the world will end?

I think it already has.

-TimK

lime said...

stealing for later.