Friday, July 26, 2013
Which, of course, stands for "No Softball Anywhere", because I promised you that and (despite all evidence to the contrary) I am a man of my word. Actually, today it will be two words, followed by some initials.
FUCK YOU, NSA.
I have no doubt this will put me on their A list. I hope so. The more I can keep them busy with my bullshit, the safer the rest of you will be from their prying eyes and ears.
So, now that Congress has sold our right to privacy down the river, the feds want to gather up all of our passwords and start checking our e-mail.
If they get my passwords, I'll be glad to let them look at some of my mail. They can handle all of the penis enlargement ads. Of course, those sorts of ads would do the folks at the NSA no good whatsoever. They're already the biggest dicks in the country.
Perhaps they'd like to finance their unconstitutional activities via the many billions of dollars being offered to me by Nigerian lawyers?
Am I being too harsh? Is there a good reason for them to root through my personal thoughts and my private letters and my intimate conversations? Maybe allowing them to do so will avert some sort of terrorist plot. If lives can be saved, I should just shut up and stop being such a wise ass, right?
This country has a Bill Of Rights for a reason. And that reason is the same for every single bit of that document. It is in place and in force to KEEP THE ASSHOLES IN GOVERNMENT FROM INTERFERING WITH OUR PRIVATE LIVES. Every sentence in The Bill Of Rights was put in there for the specific purpose of limiting the powers of the government. If you don't believe that, then you haven't actually read it. For those who doubt, or perhaps need a refresher, here it is, complete and unabridged. Read it that way while you still can (and I'd suggest paying particular attention to Amendments I & IV. Of course, Amendment II is what holds the entire thing together; without it, we rely on the good faith of those in power.)
Before you read, though, I'd like to make a suggestion. If you believe as I do - that the government is far overstepping its bounds these days - how about letting them know how you feel? Write something similar to this, for instance, and post it, then ask all of your friends to do the same. Or do something truly fun, such as answering your phone with "Hello! If the NSA is listening, Fuck You!" Or maybe just forward all of your junk e-mail to the government and see how long it takes before some goons with guns come to your door.
We're truly approaching the edge of the cliff, folks, and we're being pushed there. If we don't start pushing back, you know where we're headed.
Soon, but I guarantee nothing.
THE BILL OF RIGHTS
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.
In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.