Thursday, December 10, 2009

Things That Would Make Me Immeasurably Happier During The Holiday Season





1 - Never again having to endure Bruce Springsteen's version of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.


Okay, that's it for me. I mean, I could list a whole bunch of other stuff that would be nice (being allowed to string up and gut anyone who calls them "holiday trees" would be satisfying, for instance) but, instead, I'll ask YOU to tell me, in the comments section, what would make YOU tremendously happy to never have to deal with again during the holidays. Obscenity is not encouraged, but if you feel the need...

Soon, with more better stuff.

32 comments:

Teacher's Pet said...

Knowing that a person who doesn't have a family (either nearby or perhaps no family at all) is invited to share in the joy of Christmas at one's home would make me happy. The reason behind Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Christ. It's not about us. It's about sharing the love that He brought and still offers. Sharing with others would make me happier...not only during the Christmas season..but every day.
Hugs and many smiles from Jackie

Mrs. C. said...

Hearing Christmas songs played on screechy recorders at an elementary school concert. Especially if I'm sitting behind a large lady in a garish Christmas sweater who hasn't bathed since baby Jesus was born.

The Things We Carried said...

I had to rush over and read just what would make you IMMEASURABLY HAPPIER in this season! And I was not disappointed by this hilarious, candid post of yours :). You have made me laugh just when I was hoping you would!

Bruce Coltin said...

Not seeing a guy in a Santa suit drunk and urinating behind a tree, at 3:00 in the afternoon -- which I did see last year.

i beati said...

amen amen amen

Gaston Studio said...

People saying Merry Christmas instead of happy holiday.

Jazz said...

Not having to deal with the holiday season at all. Except for the week off of course. I'm heatily sick of it already.

Michelle H. said...

I don't really have one, but I'm enjoying reading everyone elses.

Love Bruce's drunk santa.

Expat From Hell said...

Christmas specials on television could go the way of West Coast baseball champions, in my opinion. I watched Andrea Bocelli on PBS last night in a YAWNER of a program. At least until Natalie Cole came on and just SMOKED everyone else. Would rather watch Bruce's Santa pee off the stage of the Met. That would serve the Yankee fans, right?

Eva Gallant said...

Not having to sit down to Christmas dinner with my son's mother-in-law who'll be wearing another of her dangerously low cut dresses baring more of her sagging boobs than we ever wanted to see!

Chuck said...

Hmmm...not having to work on all the holidays would be a plus, I suppose, but I'm used to it...

jaxcheryl said...

What would make me happier during the Holiday Season? Not lumping Christmas, Hanukah, and Kwanza all together. America recognizing Christmas for what it is, the celebration of Christ's birth, as Hanukah and Kwanza should be recognized for their own traditions and celebrations. All who want to join in or not, fine, respect the other's holiday and flush offense down the toilet. After all, each holiday is celebrating their own tidings of comfort and joy. I realize its probably more profitable for retailers to lump everything together to reach all the masses they possibly can, and it must be the p.c. words for some inane reason. Maybe we should just forget outdoing each other on gift giving and reflect the reason for the season by donating to favorite charities in the gift recipient's name. Keep Santa, of course, but maybe he should leave each child 2-3 gifts instead of 23.

Mushy said...

It's seems as though there's a war against Christmas going on in...well, in the world really. We who love it the way it used to be are have to hide or change the way we celebrate. I'm about over it myself...I'll even take The Boss if they will just leave Christmas alone.

jinksy said...

The smoker who walks in front of you, puffing clouds of ciggy smoke like a demented chimney stack, and managing at the same time to block the whole footpath so you can't escape the fumes...though come to think of it, this applies all year round...

Jenn said...

Well you certainly hit on one of mine but I'd go one step further and say removing Springsteen from the radio alltogether (ducks from flying things).

Additionally people smiling at each other and saying hello as they pass in the streets would be cool. It's sunny but cold here so the only thing we see of each other is part of our faces. We should use them to their best advantage!

Uncle Skip, said...

Getting through an entire day, week, month [pick one] without hearing somebody complain. (Irony is okay as long as everyone knows is irony.) For a change it would be really nice if folks would focus on what's right and good.
Oh, and I wouldn't mind hearing the Barking Dogs do Jingle Bells.

Mr. Knucklehead said...

It's kind of what you're alluding to with the holiday trees . . . people who don't celebrate Christmas insisting that we pretty much take the word out of our vocabulary. "Winter Vacation" at school, for example.

Cricket said...

What would make me immeasurably happier this year? Freedom from what is becoming a slow grind of mandatory merriment. I could also do without December weddings, which I have been blessed with two of this year! There's a reason people marry in June, folks!

Uncle Skip, said...

Ooh, ooh!!!
...and if everything came fully assembled.

Brian Miller said...

lol suldog...you know some vacation would be nice...perhaps santa can help. smiles.

Buck said...

I'd love to see playing ANY Christmas music at ANY time before 12/18 made a felony. A capital crime, actually. With public executions. Televised. One week would be more than enough and we could ALL enjoy it without becoming annoyed. As it is you can't GO anywhere from now until 12/31 without having your earholes assaulted by various and sundry renditions of "The Little Drummer Boy..." A-rump-a-pum-pum, my ass.

connie/mom said...

Christmas cards (5 for $10???) and calendars from charities.

Catalogs, catalogs, catalogs, CATALOGS!!!!!!!!! filling my mailbox to overflowing.

tshsmom said...

I could do without people, especially my Boss, saying: "Don't you just wish it was over?"

I LOVE the Christmas season and I don't need the world's Scrooges peeing in my oatmeal!

Thumbelina said...

I could do without Slade's rendition of "Merry Christmas" on the radio 24/7!
*ducks*

Janet said...

Thank you! Actually, as a Bruce fan in general, I wasn't sure I was allowed to not like a song. I would add to the list Bob Seger's version of "Little Drummer Boy." You can change the key, Bob.

G-Man said...

Suldog...
I know Lime thinks the world of you, and that good enough for me as well.
Thank you so very much for your well wishes and prayers.
You are a Gentleman and a Scholar!!

Angie Ledbetter said...

I'll take "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" for 200, Alex.

Seriously -- happy, holy and happy holidays.

Fragrant Liar said...

Why, oh why, Suldog, are you hatin' on the Boss?

You better watch out . . .

Kathleen said...

Converting all end-of-year baked goods to dark chocolate confections. Yes, that would make me immeasurably happier, dark chocolate being a mood elevator and all!

And what Angie said, too.

Hilary said...

I'm glad my kidlets are grown so that I don't have to sit through Christmas concerts at their schools year after year. Once or twice was fun.. but it gets old really fast.

Jeni said...

I could do without all the crapola and pc stuff of Happy Holidays, Winter Vacation etc., when it all means Christmas. That holiday that most everyone either gets the day off and usually as a paid holiday (although yes, there are those who have to work that day, don't get OT or triple time for doing that either) is listed on the calendar as being "Christmas" so can't we all just get along and simply go back to saying "Merry Christmas" instead of all this freaking nitpicking?

lime said...

oh i am right there with ya on your choice. i've never been a fan of "the boss" and listening to him howl through that song doesn't make him in the least bit more tolerable.

i'd also like to make a tree topper out of the guy who wrote the song "domenic the italian christmas donkey." it makes me bleed from the ears.