[Jesus Knock-Knocking from HERE.]
You folks are the best. I asked you to participate in making someone feel better, and you did a wonderful job. Here is some of what the person for whom this effort was made said to me, this morning, via e-mail...
"Jim, I am beyond touched. I read [your e-mail to me] and then your post and then I sobbed...because of your thoughtfulness and because laughter is so important to me...and then I felt the weight of the world lifted off of my shoulders....then I came back and read it again along with the comments...and I laughed and I laughed...yes, laughter is the best medicine...Thank you from the bottom of my heart...please know that you and everyone that made me laugh tonight gave me what I needed to keep on going. Blessings to each one."
So, what do you say, folks? Ready for an encore?
This time, our weapon will be the tried-and-true "Knock-Knock" joke! Obviously, if we go about this in the same fashion as yesterday - one person posts a straight line, next person provides the punch line and another straight line, and so on - this will become a complete mess very quickly. Therefore, instead, just give us some of your favorite Knock-Knocks, in their entirety, in the comments section.
For starters, I'll throw out a dozen of my favorites...
Knock-Knock.
Who's There?
Boo.
Boo Who?
Aw, don't cry. It's not as bad as you think.
Knock-Knock.
Who's There?
Woo.
Woo Who?
See? You're feeling better already!
Knock-Knock.
Who's There?
Arch.
Arch Who?
Gesundheit.
Knock-Knock.
Who's There?
Chooch.
Chooch Who?
OK, we can play trains, but I get to be the engineer.
Knock-Knock
Who's There?
The Interrupting Cow.
The Interrup
MOO!
Knock-Knock.
Who's There?
Jesus.
Jesus Who?
OK, you go to hell. Next!
Knock-Knock.
Who's There?
Owlgo.
Owlgo Who?
Yes, and dog go "Woof".
Knock-Knock.
Who's There?
The Jehovah's Witnesses.
Crap.
Knock-Knock.
Who's There?
Pee Cup.
Pee Cup Who?
I see you!
Knock-Knock.
Who's There?
Panther.
Panther Who?
Panther no panth, I'm goin' thwimmin'..
Knock-Knock.
Who's There?
Harold Pinter.
Eugene Ionesco Who?
Wash 'n Wear Giraffe Radios.
Knock-Knock.
Who's There?
Suldog.
Suldog Who?
Suldog who will see you on Monday with more better stuff. Now let's have your best knock-knocks!
Knock-knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Formaldehyde.
Formaldehyde who?
Formaldehyde-ing places came the indians.
Knock Knock!
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Pencil.
Pencil who?
Pencil fall down if you don't have a belt.
Knock knock!
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Satan?
Satan who?
You need to stay tan. I'm dark enough already.
Knock Knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there !
Ice cream !
Ice cream who ?
Ice cream if you don't let me in !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Water !
Water who ?
Water way to answer the door !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Figs !
Figs who ?
Figs the doorbell, it's broken
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Four Eggs!
Four Eggs who ?
Four Eggs ample !
Abbott: Knock-Knock.
ReplyDeleteCostello: Who's there?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: What?
Abbott: No, Who!
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: What?
Abbott: Not What - Who!
Costello: That's what I'm askin' YOU. Who's there?
Abbott: And I'm telling you, yes.
Costello: Yes who?
Abbott: Absolutely.
Costello: I don't even know what I'm talkin' about!!!
Suldog - that's the best knock-knock I've ever seen!
ReplyDeleteI heard a great knock-knock joke the other day - you start it. . .
;)
More funny stuff!
ReplyDeleteKnock Knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Adam!
Adam who?
Adam if I do and adam if I don't!
Knock knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
It's me
Who's me?
Don't you mean: who am I?
Yes, who am I?
Well, if you don't know who you are, it's worse than I thought!
Knock, knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange ya glad I didn't say banana?
Knock, knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Atchoo
Atchoo who?
Jeni, Atchoo Suldog?
My 5 year old daughter tells that interrupting cow one all the time, I love it.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is:
Me: Hey, I got a great knock knock joke, wanna hear it?
them: Yeah!
me: ok, you start
them: knock knock?
me: who's there?
them: ...?
They never see it coming!
Knock-knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive here, open the freakin' door.
Couple more oldies to keep the ball rolling...
ReplyDeleteKnock-Knock
Who's There?
Dwayne
Dwayne Who?
Dwayne the bathtub! I'm dwowning!
Knock-Knock
Who's There?
Jewel.
Jewel Who?
Jewel know if you open the door!
Ok... there once was a man from Nantucket... oh, wait... you said knock-knocks, huh? All right, then.
ReplyDeleteKnock knock
Who's there?
Little boy blue.
Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson.
I love Ivan's knock knock joke but Cricket's kind of sucks. ;)
ReplyDeleteKnock Knock.
Who's there?
Ann.
Ann who?
Ann Easter bunny.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Anna.
Anna who?
Anna other Easter bunny.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Maura.
Maura who?
Maura Easter bunnies.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Howie.
Howie who?
Howie gonna get rid of all these Easter bunnies?
Knock knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Niagara Falls.
NIAGARA FALLS!?!...sllllowwwllly I turned. Step...by...step...
Kaz, you da man!
ReplyDeleteOK, we've got Knock-Knocks by Abbott & Costello and The Stooges. Anybody want to try for Laurel & Hardy, The Marx Brothers, Wheeler & Woolsey, or Burns & Allen?
Knock Knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Viaduct.
Why a duck?
I'm fine how are you. I said this is a viaduct.
All right, why a duck? Why not a chicken?
Knock knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Sam and Janet.
Sam and Janet who?
Sam and Janet Eve-ninggggg.
(Some enchanted evening. From "South Pacific." Oh, never mind)
Knock knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
HEY! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD YODEL!
Knock Knock!
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I have my key.
Knock Knock!
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Hammond.
Hammond who?
Hammond eggs for breakfast.
and that reminds me of this gem, which isnt exactly a Knock Knock joke, but it was the Hammond Eggs that brought it to mind.
Say it out loud:
FUNEX?
S,VFX.
FUNEM?
S,VFM.
OK,UFMNX!
groan.....
Knock knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
George.
George who?
George your husband, of course. Say goodnight, Gracie.
Goodnight, Gracie.
Knock-knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Amos.
Amos who?
A mosquito bit me.
Knock-knock
Who's there?
Andy.
Andy who?
Andy bit me again.
Knock-Knock!
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce out, it's dark in here!
knock, knock
ReplyDeletewho's there?
Isabelle
Isabelle who?
Is a bell necessary on a bike?
And here's my all time favorite that I made up as a kid....
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Howard
Howard Who?
Howard Johnson!
Don't get it? That's okay, nobody does but me! :-)
knock knock
ReplyDeletewho's there?
lettuce
lettuce who?
lettuce in and you'll find out!
knock knock
who's there?
butter
butter who?
butter let me in before i knock down the door!
I'm hearing all these knocking sounds - is there an audiologist in the house?
ReplyDeleteYou guys are doing very funny stuff! ;) Thank you ;)
ReplyDeleteSince nobody else tried these guys...
ReplyDeleteWheeler: Knock-Knock
Woolsey: Who's There?
Wheeler: Wheeler & Woolsey
Woolsey: Wheeler & Woolsey Who?
Wheeler: Yeah, that's what everybody else said when Suldog mentioned us.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheeler_%26_Woolsey
Hardy: Knock-Knock
ReplyDeleteLaurel: (absentmindedly) Hmmmmm?
Hardy: I said, "Knock-Knock."
Laurel: Why?
Hardy: (exasperated) Stanley, haven't you ever heard of a knock-knock joke?
Laurel: A knock-knock...? (thinks hard) Is it like a knick-knack?
Hardy: No! It's a joke! I say "Knock-Knock", and then you say, "Who's There?"
Laurel: Why would I do that, Ollie? I know who you are!
Hardy: That's how the joke works, Stanley! The first person says, "Knock-Knock", then the other person says, "Who's There?"
Laurel: Doesn't seem like much of a joke to me.
Hardy: Well, it is. It's very funny, IF you have brains.
Laurel: (ponders situation for a few seconds, while Ollie steams, then says) Knock-Knock.
Hardy: Who's There?
Laurel: (ponders the situation for another few seconds) That doesn't seem funny to me.
[Hardy, totally flummoxed, pops Laurel twice in the head, with a distinctive 'knock-knock' sound resulting.]
Laurel: (groggily) Who's There?
Hardy: (concerned about his friend) It's me, Stanley!
Laurel: It's me Stanley who?
Hardy: It's me Stanley because I... Aaaaarrrggghhh!
[Hits Laurel again, which seems to bring him around.]
Laurel: Well, Ollie, I still say it's not as funny as a fireman with red suspenders crossing the road. I remember once I had an uncle...
[Hardy looks into camera and sighs.]
Sully, yer a frickin' genius!
ReplyDeleteI might have to steal these sometime. . . You know, not for profit, or anything like that. . .
ReplyDelete;)
Knock-knock
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
The Ozone Layer
Ozone Layer Who?
Wrong question. It should be what ozone layer?
Now go check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGxDAHkt4ok
Knock, Knock.
ReplyDeleteWho's there?
Sense O.
Sense O. Who?
Sense O. Humor
(Which all of you crazies seem to have in abundance!!!)
So behind on reading your posts and glad I started with the most recent, you all are cracking me up!
ReplyDeleteMy nephew's knock knock jokes are the only ones I know. They're 8 and make them up themselves so...
Knock knock
Who's there?
Chicken
Chicken who?
Chicken butt head
*insert hysterical laughter of an 8 year old because he said the word butt*
Knock Knock!
ReplyDeleteWho’s there?
Scott!
Scott who?
Scott nothing to do with you!!
Love these Jim.
. . . . . and another . . .
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Ken I come in, it’s freezing out here?
See ya ~ Eddie