Serving the public need for obvious jokes, maudlin sentimentality, and self-righteous claptrap, since 1957.
Monday, February 07, 2011
$530
That's how much you won yesterday when you followed my advice concerning which bets to make on the Super Bowl, and you're welcome. Since you are an honest and forthright individual - you're one of my readers, after all - I expect you'll get the check for my 10% of your winnings into the mail ASAP. Just in case you've forgotten, here's my address:
Suldog The Hopeful, Even In The Face Of All Evidence To The Contrary
93 Winsor Avenue
Watertown, MA 02472
By my figuring (which yesterday has proven to be pretty damned good) my cut, at 10%, comes to $53. Since I have 518 followers, I should be receiving checks totaling at least $27,454.
(I say 'at least' because there are no doubt a few lurkers among you who haven't chosen to become followers, but who nevertheless made the bets I suggested. I'm assuming one or two of you will send me a check, also.)
(Since I'm a Christian, and charitable giving is a virtue, I've decided to be magnanimous and give everything I receive over $27,454 to charity. Yes, I am a nice guy, and I have no doubt God just punched my ticket for Heaven due to my having such a fine and generous thought. If you send me what you owe me, no doubt your ticket will also be punched.)
More math for those of you who don't care: The total amount I asked you to risk was $3,750. The win which resulted, of $530, is a return of 14.13% on your investment. Not bad for four hours. Try to get a bank to do as much for you!
So, that will be the only time this year when I give you my tremendously sound financial advice, and I'm glad you profited. I'll be back with some new writing after you send me my share of the loot. Or I'll never be back, if that will get you to send the check in a more expeditious fashion. Your choice.
Soon (relatively, and dependent upon your honesty) with more better stuff.
LOL. I didn't take your advice Suldog but that's because I don't watch or participate in sports of any kind anymore. I only knew who was playing in the superbowl because my son has been a Steeler's fan for 30 years!
ReplyDeleteLOL You have sure put a lot of thought into this...lol...how nice that God punched your ticket to heaven for having such a generous heart...no betting for me even though I wouldn't miss the game..the team I was rooting for lost. :(
ReplyDeletei did watch some of it, but there are no thighs, face or any eye candy o show..so what is the point...they cant get hurt cos they are all dressed in their Pampers..come on Jim, come watch the rugby, now that was l call a tackle!!
ReplyDeletehey ho...
provocative not I!
xxx
Damn! I can't believe I forgot to bet. Who won?
ReplyDelete- Jazz
I think that I must have missed a post because I have no idea what this is about....but I'm off to find out....reading your blogs in reverse order!! :))))
ReplyDeleteSmiles to you, Jim. You are always a great read...always.
Jackie
OMG! I had no idea so many of my readers were welchers! OK, so that's 5 of you with no sense of honor or integrity. I still expect the other 513 readers to send me a check, so I won't start crying - yet.
ReplyDeleteI went back and read your previous blogs. Is it too late to place a bet now? :))
ReplyDeleteAnd... I want to add my "pick" for one of my favorite blogs you've written (in regard to your listing of your favorites a few blogs back.) One of my favorites and one that I read again and again is "Three Years After." That blog always touches me...and I consider it to be among your best.
Send us a card from wherever you and YOUR WIFE go on that trip you take from your share of the winnings.
Where did you say we were supposed to place wager?
ReplyDeleteOh, and who was loaning the $3750?
I like your plan, though.
That's one of the things I love so much about you -- your generosity! :)
ReplyDeleteAll payable in Lincoln wheat pennies?
ReplyDeleteEven with the 17 1/2 points, the Jets couldn't pull it off.
ReplyDeleteNot a betting man, myself, but still impressed with your savvy. Sitting here at the keyboard thinking of you all the same. Must be the mouthful of gauze. Srsly.
ReplyDeleteWhat about those of us who came to the same conclusions before reading your advice? Do we still owe you???
ReplyDeleteAlthough I read your instructions (still don't have a clue as to how to follow them though) -and I watched the game -which I really enjoyed -I didn't place any bets, friendly or financial, so no cash is forthcoming to me or to you then, unfortunately, huh? How DID you like the game though? I was rather ambivalent this year -didn't really get hyped up about either team mainly because I actually like both of those teams. I'm a dyed-in-the-wool Redskin fan who usually switches loyalties when the Steelers are playing -since I do live in "Steeler Nation" ya know. But I have always had a bit of a soft spot in my heart for the Packers too since they were the team of choice by my ex-husband when I first met him. Ah, the sentimentality of that time ya know. Our minister, Pastor Carrie, is a very strong Packer fan though -hails from Wisconsin,so what else would you expect? And she came here for supper and to watch the game with us last evening -replete with her green and yellow fingernail polish that she was wearing for church yesterday a.m., and said she got a few snickers while giving communion from a few parishioners who were slightly shocked to see that on her hands! But, anyway, even though I didn't get rich gambling and I suspect neither did you, I still enjoyed the game a lot and liking both teams, I found myself cheering regardless of who was making a good -or often, a great play!
ReplyDeleteDidnt watch, didnt bet ... but I would be happy to punch your ticket! ;-)
ReplyDeleteNo bets placed here, but i will be glad to give a bit more to a charity in your name. Once i pay for the car repairs.
ReplyDeleteI would like to flip you for it.
ReplyDeleteI guess I didn't read the original post because well, you know... it was about sports. Anyway, you won't be getting a check from me either :)
ReplyDeleteWow. I'm thinking I need to bring the estimate of the cash I'll receive down. So, this 16 of you who will NOT be sending me money (well, I think maybe 14 definite, and a couple who want to rope me in to bad gambles or something) so I guess I should only expect maybe $26,500 to arrive in the mail over the next week. That's disappointing, but I'll suffer through it.
ReplyDeleteI can only write you a check from my account in the Bank of Yugoslavia. Do you happen to recall the conversion from dinars to dollars?
ReplyDeleteI didn't really have a dog in this fight, and I have close friends & family members passionately on both sides. But it hurt my feelings not a bit to see Rapistburger have a bad game. . .
Oh, I guess I should mention to Hilary (the only one, thus far, willing to keep her end of the bargain!) that I wouldn't mind Lincoln Wheat Pennies, at all, so long as they don't come postage due.
ReplyDeleteCraig - The conversion rate is 762 dollars to every dinar. So write me a check for, say, $16,000 and I'll call it square.
ReplyDeleteMy payment is on it's way, however it's coming under my alias. You should be receiving an email from the prince of Afghanistan, just follow the link I put in it for the tracking information.
ReplyDeletewhy didnt i read this before sunday? why did you not contact me?
ReplyDeletei lost 10 bucks!!!
=(
but its okay, its only 10 bucks.
and it was a good game.
=)
I had two choices, maybe three, about what to do with the money I had last Thursday. I should have followed you suggestions. Instead I decided to go for the easy money from Nigeria. As soon as I receive the funds from the Honorable Lincoln Washington Malcolm Ngbo, I will forward ten per cent to you just because I know you want to keep Charity happy.
ReplyDeleteBTW - doe YOUR WIFE know about Charity?
Matt & IT - It seems you may both be doing business with the same sorts of people. Rather than trouble you further (or farther, or mother) why don't you give my share to Sweet Pea who is in-between the two of you (and I'm not at all sure she shouldn't get combat pay for that.)
ReplyDeleteWell, as I didn't bet...... can't grumble that I won NOTHING!
ReplyDeleteMaggie X
Nuts in May
must have been skimming!!
ReplyDeletedouble up on March maddness
ReplyDeleteSully, Suldog, Jim - I can't believe how many followers claim to have not read the previous post because it was about sports.
ReplyDeleteThey just assumed it was about sports because they didn't read far enough.
It was only about sports if someone considers wagering a sport.
The same sort of wagers could just as easily been made on something other than a sporting event. And if I were at all patient, clever and imaginative, I could write about them.
ROFL about both post and comments. I'm so sorry I didn't place a bet either. I'd have definitely bet double the amount and sent you 20% Really. That is how generous we Dutch truly are!
ReplyDeleteAlas...
Carolina - I have no doubt you would have done so. You are one of nature's true princesses (unlike the rest of these slugs.)
ReplyDeleteOh 'tis pity, 'tis true, I watched the Puppy Bowl instead of following your advice.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what I could have been thinking. If I had but listened I would now be in possession of some sum or other and owing you some other sum, or some such.
Somewhat relieved, I am. As I appear to be out of stamps.
Wow. I should've followed your advice.
ReplyDeleteToo bad I didn't.
hee hee
Actually, I'd rather just have lots of Diet Dr Pepper in the house, forget the cash. hee hee
LMAO! I don't know what's funnier~your commenters comments or your belief anyone is sending you money. Thanks for the giggles in the middle of a very long Monday at work!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'll be totally honest buddy.
ReplyDeleteSince honesty is the requirement for more better stuff....
I don't bet.
Sorry.
And I got to the post too late anyway.
Sorry.
But it's the thought that counts and I know you won't mind effectively *spending* $530 on a good thought.
You're welcome. :0)
BTW - I'm following you twice! As me and as --- er --- the real me.
ReplyDelete;0)
Does that mean I pay you twice?
I don't mind.
Twice zilch = zilch.
May I just send a fruitcake, instead?
ReplyDeleteShit, I hate a good gloat when I've missed the boat - darn you and your smugness, I have a mind to dig out my (relatively harmless) home-made voodoo doll and stab you in the bad breath area..
ReplyDeletethere was some sort of game on tv? something people bet on?
ReplyDeletei'll tell ya what would have been a sure bet. bet on me not to watch even 2 seconds of that nonsense....not even for the commercials....not even as i passed through the room.
LOL, sorry to disappoint, but I didn't bet. Hope you made your own wager. ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou're right! Again. Of course.
ReplyDelete;-)
(thanks for the email :-))
I don't gamble. Like is enough for me. But thanks for the advice anyway.
ReplyDeleteHonestly?
ReplyDeleteMy Bookie refuses to take my play anymore...so no wagers were made.
Sorry, Sul...wish I coulda sent ya' sumpthin'!
:-D guess I missed the bet and the boat sailing on off to the pearly gates :-D
ReplyDeleteDamn. I am now drastically rethinking my vacation plans for Brazil during Carnivale. I don't think I'll even get enough to pay my subway fare to South Boston from you pikers. Thanks a lot. See if I give you any more hot tips.
ReplyDeleteBut Suldog, with that kind of profit you should be hanging out a new shingle and advising on a daily basis.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately for you, I not only didn't bet, I didn't even watch the game. (Blasphemy!)
Dang it, I knew I should have followed your advice... sorry about that! If I had, and I won, you can bet I'd send you your cut, though!
ReplyDeleteI did read your last post, but remember I'm the clueless one about sports and math, so I never placed a bet...but at least I'm honest about reading your last post...
ReplyDeleteI could give you a big hug and wipe away your tears...if that's ok with YOUR WIFE.
Guess what Jim!! I watched it!! and guess what! I understood the rules at long last!! It was the forward passing that got me before LOL.
ReplyDeleteThey are having breaks all the time and not gettibg on with it!! . . . but it was OK.
But regretably I did not bet although I did decide on the winning team just before the end, LOL ~ Eddie
It was so fabulous to watch a football game with no real invested emotion, other than loving watching Ben lose. :) Oh, and I didn't bet either - but you kinda already knew that... ;)
ReplyDeleteWell, it looks like we're a few days late to take your tremendously sound financial advice. :o)~
ReplyDeleteoh you are just waay too kind. i would love to accept your share of whatever it was matt and IT were talking about..... but i must graciously decline. its yours, after all. i dont want to feel like i just came up and stole your share of whatever it was. so maybe you could just share your share with me =)
ReplyDelete